growth

Today I had the glorious opportunity to read and read and read.
I went on campus today with no meetings set up. So I settled myself in for a long winters nap - no wait. I didn't do that at all.
Ahem.
So I settled myself in a corner of the cafeteria and started reading, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". For a synopsis and reflections on this book you can check out http://jamieunited.blogspot.com/2005/10/habit-1-be-proactive.html. I only got through chapter 1 of the prologue or whatever it was, but I am actually quite excited to dig deep into this potentially life changing book.
One main point that I took away that isn't necessarily new for me, is that I need to look within myself when confronted with conflict, challenging situations, trials or hard times and ask myself a few questions, "What 'lens' am I looking through to view this situation?", "Is there something about me that needs to change in order to best approach this conflict" etc....they are all inward questions that make one examine why we do what we do and who we really are deep down inside and what needs to change about ME as opposed to expecting the other party to change.
I already am looking forward to the process of growing emotionally.
I know it will be hard, but that's where, I realized, I have a hope and a confidence that I can change. Because I know it is not me doing it on my own, but I have a strength that comes from Christ.

jazz

Friday night John and Sab came over and Sab and I ventured out to Manhattan's Jazz Club. I was pleasantly surprised. There was a live jazz band and the venue was quite nice. It's classy, but not intimidating. Laid back, but not sketchy.
I will definitely be visiting Manhattan's again for a trio night.
We listened to acid jazz (I think that's what it was) but I am looking forward to a trio night.
Good times.

drilling

Today I drilled.
I've never drilled anything before. Well, that's possibly a lie...but I can't recall it, anyway.
Jamie and I got a cordless drill yesterday and today I put up pictures and shelves...I did it all. It was great. Actually, at times a bit frustrating as I was wishing I had a few extra arms and hands to hold things in place. All in all, I put up quite a few pictures and shelves and they all went up nice and straight.
It was empowering.
I am woman. Hear me roar.

pooped

I can't believe tomorrow is Monday.
I am just utterly exhausted.
The weekend has just flown by.
Looking at my summer schedule doesn't make me feel any better, either.
From June 25th-August 4th I will have travelled from Guelph to Orlando to Toronto to Guelph to Vancouver to Whistler and then back to Toronto and then to Guelph and then probably up north to go camping. (That's after the 4th, though).
It's going to be exciting (this was what I wanted, right? Travelling all the time?) but pretty crazy.
I think it's just because I'm thinking about it whilst (good word) I'm entirely pooped. From hair follicle to toe nail. P-o-o-p-e-d.

I know. Completely inappropriate. Oh well. I've never been one to shy away from toilet talk. So many of you have just lost so much respect for me. *sigh* Oh well. You'd find out sooner or later.

today

Today was a great, but exhausting day.
I got up early (for a Saturday) and drove to Toronto to be at a bridal shop at 10am. I met up with my friend who is getting married and watched as she tried on dress after dress. It was a lot of fun to pick out dresses and see her in them and to see how a dress can just transform someone's appearance. And then also to compare dresses and see the difference between, say, an elegant evening gown and a wedding dress. You can wear an evening gown over and over, but you're only going to have one occasion (hopefully) to wear a wedding dress. I kept gravitating to dresses that looked like mine.
"Oh wait, I already have that dress."

And then, I had the lovely opportunity to take my mother out along with my sister, and go on a wine tour at a nearby winery.
It was fabulous, although for some reason I was expecting to see the actual vineyard. I'm not sure why as I can't think of anywhere in the GTA that you would be growing a successful vineyard. Oh well.
Despite the lack of vineyard, it was great - and oh-so-educational. I learned about the process of wine making, got to see the barrels that they age the wine in and learn the proper way to taste and smell and what to look for in a wine. I'm still a cabernet-sauvignon girl, but it was so amazing the way I could smell certain things in a wine, like pear, or oak, or even leather! And then once you identify a smell, you can all of a sudden taste that. It's fascinating the way the palate works!
I think I want to have a wine tasting party. I've read about them and always wanted to have one, so I think I shall initiate one in the nearby future.
When life seems to have calmed down.
Then there was the birthday (for my mother) dinner at Red Lobster which is always a treat and then the drive home.
Tomorrow I anticipate being just as ridiculously busy added to that is the stress of a support appointment, so we'll see how it all goes.

It's good to know that I don't have to rely on my own strength to get through life.

health

Changing a habit is hard. Changing more than one habit can be harder!
I finally decided that it was time to start making some healthy habits. Eating right, exercising, getting more sleep (that last one hasn't worked out so well) and so far it's hard, but good. I think it's like most things in life. Once you get the momentum going, it's a lot easier to keep up with it.
I still have the most ginormous sweet tooth and I think once in a while I may partake, but I think I need to make smart decisions and eat in a way that will benefit me in 20, 30, 40 years down the road instead of coming to a critical point in my health and having to start changing things then.
Life is meant to be lived. I used to think that meant I should indulge in sweets and wine and staying up late and all that fun stuff. But if you're dead or end up getting diabetes or something really serious, you're life at that point will be very much stifled. So I will treat myself every now and again, and continue to make smart choices with a perspective that goes much farther than today or tomorrow.
Well...I guess I better hit the gym!

luge

The luge has got to be one of the most incredible sports.
These people are lying on tiny sleds, ripping down ice slides at speeds of over 100 km.

So unbelieveably cool. And epic. Try this one time; turn on the olympics and watch the luge with no sound on. Instead, put on some classical epic-type music with large crescendos and grandios music.

It's very cool.

I admire the athletes who participate in the luge.

Once I got past the Jerry Seinfeld stand up bit on the the "involuntary luge" and really watched these men and women just whipping around corners at break neck speeds (literally!) I really gained a sense of awe and wonder and respect for them.
I think if you can get that out of the Olympics, it's all worth it.

Oh and National Pride. Don't forget about that.

Regan

This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Regan.
I love Regan.
She is to me, the epitome of the beautiful woman. The one who is beautiful both inside and out. She truly is.
We met in 2000 and ended up working together in the junior high ministry at our church. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. :)
And now with her wedding coming up soon...I'm so so excited that she's found someone who treats her with so much love and respect and care and really deserves the wonderful person that she is.
So here's to you, my friend.

driving

While I was driving from the university to the gym I happened to notice (as it was hard NOT to) that along the road were many tractors and trucks with guys picketing saying "Farmers feed cities". I'm not sure if protesting is the most effective way to get your message out, but I gave the guy a thumbs up because for the most part, it's true! Without my delicious carrots being planted and harvested by some farmer out there, I'd be carrot-deprived!
I laughed at myself, though, for giving some random dude the thumbs up as if I had any idea of what he and his colleagues are trying to accomplish. *shrug* Ah well...I felt like I was on the side of world-changers...and it was fun.
And then I nearly got side-swiped by some random chick driver. Who doesn't check their blindspot? My heart was beating a mile a minute (yet another random saying...what does that mean exactly?) and I layed into the horn.
I love that cars have horns.
Sometimes I have this urge to just lay on the horn when some pedestrian is just happily walking in front of me at a cross walk or whatnot. Just to see their confusion at my random horn-honking would be...well...humourous.
RANDOM!

accomplished

What I accomplished:
buy protein powder: done. Although one guy tried to sell it to me for $75, I ended up buying it from a girl who practically yelled at me that carbs are not evil. I told her that I know that and to stop yelling at me. Ok, so I didn't tell her that. But she did apologize. Oh well. She loves her job I guess.
go to the gym: done. It was a good work out too. But not too long.
pick up pictures from blacks: done. Thanks Kev for the gift certificate!
take pictueres with the SLR: *sigh* not done. But I did get many other things accomplished and since I have pictures now, I can scrapbook. That's creative!
get coins and do laundry: done and done! It's a good feeling to have clean underwear.
write letters: done! but not sent yet. Why don't I have a post box around the corner from me?
eat right and follow the rules: done! For today at least. I plan on cheating tomorrow, but it's planned, not spontaneous and for some reason that makes it all better.
research jazz clubs: done. Manhattan's, here I come!
set a date with Sab: not done, but definitely thought about!
email small group, email staff ladies: done and done!

I also did many other things that I won't bother to write down here.
All in all, a good day.
Happy Early Valentine's Day!

lists

To Do:
-buy protein powder
-go to the gym
-pick up pictures from Black's
-take pictures with SLR
This brings me to a thought I had today. I'm feeling flat. Not in the "chesty" sense, but in the...artistic sense. I haven't indulged my creative side lately and that is a side that I NEED to indulge in. It refreshes me. It gives me energy. It makes me happy. So...starting tomorrow I'm taking out the old tripod and my SLR camera with half a roll of film left in it and I'm going to document Guelph. Or at least my little pocket of Guelph. Actually there is a quaint "old Guelph" section downtown that I'd like to venture out into.
-get some coins to do laundry
-do laundry
-write those letters that you have been putting off for the past 2 weeks
-eat right and follow the rules (YOU CAN DO IT!)
-research jazz clubs for me and Sab to hang out at
-make a date with Sab to go to aforementionned jazz clubs
-email small group to get things going!
-email the staff ladies for a dinner in at my place

Hmm...I need to make a "to do" list more often.
List it up!

lunch

One of the things I like best about eating lunch at school is that every day - at approximately 12:30pm, these two guys will come out to the middle of the stairway. They are usually dressed in some wild costume - some days it's pure mexican outfits, today it was hippy/Bob Marley outfits. And one of them will whip out his trumpet, the other will strum up a melody on his guitar and they'll just play this little ditty. Then they'll turn around and walk out.
I love it. It's so random. And it always brings a smile to my face.
Ha!

psychic

What is the allure of psychic readings?
People are searching. Obviously. But what are they searching for? Or at least, what do they think they are searching for?
This guy sets up a table in the middle of the UC (university centre) with a sign that says:
PSYCHIC READINGS
3 FREE QUESTIONS
People are just flocking to him. Person after person keeps approaching him! A guy who claims to have insight into the future and people just keep coming to him.
Why?
The way I see it, there are 3 reasons...there could be more, but these are 3 that I've thought of;
1. He claims to have something of value to everyone.
-everyone has a future, everyone wants to know something about their future, and this guy is going to answer them. Actually, he only says they get 3 questions. Whether he'll answer them or not is another matter.
2. He is offering a free and "valueable" service.
3. He appears to be approachable.
-sitting back in his chair, sipping his diet coke (diet? Do psychics need to drink diet coke? Ok, so I lied. I have no idea if it's diet or even if it's coke. It's a dark brown, bubbly drink in a clear glass with ice.)
I guess the idea is to hook people in to where they'll want to know more - above and beyond the 3 questions and then he can get his money.
I still can't get past the idea that people will pay to know more of their future.
This leads me to believe that people want security and knowledge about their future. They want guidance/advice on important decisions and events in their life.
How can we (me personally, but also CCC) communicate to students that living a life for God and knowing Him personally ultimately has bi-products of security and knowledge about the future: "God has my best interests in mind. I can be secure in knowing He'll take care of me and whatever happens is not out of His control."
Guidance and direction for important decisions and events?
No problem.
Knowing God personally means He gives us His Spirit to give us the mind of Christ - all wisdom and guidance are available to us - through Christ Jesus.

mobile

Hopefully our car saga has ended. It's fixed and in terms of repairing cars, it cost us very little. A few new spark plugs, rotor (what is that?) and a distributer cap later, and we're laughing!
It's nice to be mobile again.

beauty

Another book that I am reading and also enjoying immensely is the ever-popular book by John & Stasi Eldredge, Captivating.
I just want to quote a paragraph that I loved as soon as I read it last night:

"'He will quiet you with his love' (Zeph. 3:17). A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest, trusting God because she has come to know him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; she knows that we live in a world at war, that we have a vicious enemy, and our journey is through a broken world. But she also knows that because of God all is well, that all will be well, A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts. We can also breathe in the truth that God loves us and he is good.
This is why we must keep asking. Ask Jesus to show you your beauty. Ask him what he thinks of you as a woman. His words to us lets us rest and unveil our beauty."

I love it.
I love being a woman and that God made me to display His glory. Because I am a woman.
I am "the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve. She is the Master's finishing tough...Eve is ... breathtaking."

To the only One that matters, the God of the universe who created me and loves me, I am breathtaking.

transformation

I am currently reading quite a few books right now, but one that I'm really enjoying is called, The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg.
As I read the first chapter I knew that I would love and learn from this book.
John Ortberg is a great writer with a style of writing that flows with sincerity, wisdom and often traces of humour.
These are some quotes that really resonated with me when I read them.

"Now with God's help, I shall become myself" Soren Kierkegaard (quoted at the beginning of the chapter)
I love this quote. People always say that they're hoping to discover themselves when they travel or take time off from work or whatever it may be. But the only way we'll ever be the MOST of who we really are is when we go to God and ask Him to work His transforming power in our lives.

"I am disappointed with my ordinariness." p. 13
I have never read something that felt like someone was speaking my thoughts. For most of my life I have always liked who I am. Never really had any self-esteem problems. But I always felt ordinary. I've never felt like there is that one thing that I can do REALLY well or that sets me apart from everyone else.
I have a friend who paints and draws and even sings extrodinarily well. And I look at her and can see that this is something that makes her special. The tangible gifts are always so much more easy to pinpoint and say, "There! That's it. That's what makes me special. What makes me, me."
So to read this sentence, this simple sentence in a book written by a man who is a pastor at one of the largest churches in North America (Willowcreek) and has written so many books that have all sold quite well, opened my eyes. Maybe this is something that all of us feel to a certain degree.
Regardless, the rest of the chapter gave me hope that I can be transformed into that someone special, unique and ... UNordinary.

"The possibility of transformation is the essence of hope." p. 22
So true. And I love this next quote;

"We are pregnant with possibilities of spiritual growth and moral beauty so great that they cannot be adequately described as anything less than the formation of Christ in our very lives." p. 23
Read it again if you would. What a breathtaking description of the life of a Christian. My heart beat speeds up and I can feel the hairs raised on the back of my neck.
How glorious is our God! How loving that He should send His only son to redeem us. To make us joint heirs with Christ. To pursue us after we had already rejected Him.
Wow. I am in awe.

saga

So our car saga continues.
No surprise that our car still wouldn't start today although I had an inkling of hope that it would.
Anyway, so Jamie calls to get our car towed to at least a reputable car repair shop.
"It's going to be about a 60-90 minute wait."
That's fine. We are here all day with no where to go. Right.
3 1/2 hours later the tow guy shows up.
What a foolish car (aka the little car that should).





Bye car...

ponderings

Growing up. It's inevitable.
I was reminiscing with one of my close girlfriends from highschool about the "good old days". I liked the way she put it:

I just loved how I knew that every Wednesday, Friday night to Saturday night that I would have someone - but probably a group of my friends to hang out with. And it didn't matter where we hung out or what we did, we ALWAYS had fun.

It's so true! I told her that I feel blessed to have had such a wonderful season in my life.

But that's exactly what it was. A season in my life. A chapter in the book of my journey. And if I stayed in that place, it wouldn't be as rich and flavourful to look back upon.
And then we looked at where everyone is today. It's amazing actually to see where each of our lives has taken us. To look at who we thought would be the first to marry and see that they aren't. While the people we thought would be the last are happily married already.
To realize that we are all across the globe; China, Dominican Republic, North Carolina, Guelph, Sault Ste. Marie, and all across the GTA.
It's sad that life has taken us to different geographical locations but I don't think I'd have it any other way. I see how God is working in so many of their lives and using them for His glory.
I'd rather it be this way and us all be far apart than for us to live close by and be lukewarm and lackadaisical.
As the movie says, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

priceless

Borrowing a friend's car because yours doesn't start: $20 for gas
Buying a roadside assistance program because your car is now giving you problems: $100.00/year
Getting your car towed, looked at, and given a new battery so that it will start again: $201.00
Getting up, showered, dressed, ready for church and your car with the new battery doesn't start: priceless - and yet so frustrating!



I shake my fist at you, car!!!

Ghettofied

After going stir crazy for a week without cable, Jamie makes me put together a makeshift antenna to see if we can get any channels.

Yep. That's right. Paperclips taped together. Who doesn't own a single wire hanger? Me.

It's the ghettofied bunny ears.
Sweet.

lessons

Yesterday I went to the Raptor's game with Amanda. I'll be honest. I could care less about the Raptors - or even basketball in general. I went because I wanted to see Amanda AND because they were box seats.

SWEET.

I'd never been in a box before. I felt like I was rich or something. Plus there was free food. It was pretty darned sweet. Besides that, the Raptor's won but don't ask me what the score was. All you basketball/Raptor's fans are shaking your heads in chagrin.
*shrug*

I don't like basketball. But I love my friend Amanda.
It was a really fun time and a good time to catch up. We see each other probably a few times a year and so I really treasured this time.

Not to mention that our car wouldn't start when we were ready to drive to Toronto.

Figures.

It was a lesson in rolling with the punches and I'm pretty sure I failed miserably.

It was also a lesson in accepting grace. That's a hard lesson to learn.

We ended up borrowing a car from someone despite them having plans. They ended up really scarificing so that I could go to a basketball game.

It was hard for me to swallow my pride and stop feeling bad.
Jamie reminded me that if I were in their position, I wouldn't want to lend my car to someone who just couldn't stop feeling bad all evening.
It's true.

It made me think about grace and why it's so hard to receive.

I think the main obstacle is pride.

For me anyway.

It reminds me of the U2 song, Grace.

I like the last part of the song;

What once was hurt

What once was friction

What left a mark

No longer stings

Because grace makes beauty

Out of ugly things

Grace makes beauty out of ugly things

Treat pic 'o the month!

The month of love calls for some sweet treat action!
I love conversation hearts. They taste oh-so-sweet and they have fun - albeit cheesy - sayings on them such as, "Email me". How technological of them. Anyway, go out and get yourself some conversation hearts - you can even buy them in bulk!