merry christmas

So Jamie and I decided to get Scene It for each other for Christmas. It's a new version of the board game but for Xbox 360.
We opened it on Tuesday. :)
It's so much fun and comes with these fantastic little controllers with big buttons to buzz in and answer tons of fun movie-related questions.
Although Jamie won both times we played I WILL beat him some day. And then I will gloat. But just a little.

baking

I am ambitiously attempting to do Christmas baking this year.
Here are the cookies I'd like to make:
1. My annual tradition of Cheese Stars. I made these the first year I got married and have made them every year since (this will be the fourth year I'll have made them!)! They're a favourite of everyone and especially delightful with a nice red wine.
2. Chewy Molasses Spice Cookies - this recipe I got off of Martha Stewart's website and it is a GOODER. I first made it last year and they were definitely one of my favourites.
3. Kris Kringle Cookies - I've never made these before but I found the recipe on Kraftcanada.com and they look good so I'm going to try them.
4. Thumbprint Cookies - your typical Christmasey cookie. Looks delish.
5. Chocolate Candy Cane Cookies - they are exactly what they sound like.

So that's it.
This will be interesting with a baby around now.

a nice partnership

Two things:

1. Dark Chocolate M&Ms. DELISH! And I can't stop eating them.

2. So You Think You Can Dance. I'm not sure why I can't stop watching this show. I could care less about American Idol or Canadian Idol or pretty much any other reality tv show. But this one...I eat it up. It's a gooder. (This is one of the routines I watched yesterday - the routine starts at 2:30.) It's a guilty pleasure - definitely. Jamie is baffled at this obsession of mine.

They go very well together.

Christmas music

American Thanksgiving has marked the beginning of the Christmas season for at least....6 or 7 years now. Every year we celebrate it with some family and friends (of which I believe 1 is American) and then Jamie deems it appropriate to start listening to Christmas music. :)
Today we put up our tree and bought a few Christmas presents.
Friday I purchased 3 Christmas albums and am very excited about them:

1. Sarah McLachlan's Wintersong - mellow and including several "true" Christmas songs
2. Christmas Remixed - a great album of oldies that have been "re-grooved" to listen to straight up or have in the background. It's got the remixed song "I've got my love to keep me warm" by Kay Starr that I always hear in stores and wish I knew who it was by...now I do!
3. Dianna Krall's Christmas Songs - a GREAT jazzy album - and she's Canadian too!

(Jamie's comment to me when I told him I purchased these albums on iTunes was, "Oh no! I thought that now that you were home your purchases would be limited! I was so wrong." Oh the wonder of online shopping.)

4 weeks

I wasn't sure where to post this, but I decided that since it's more about how motherhood is affecting me and not so much Noah's progress that The Typing Fiend was where it belonged.

These past (almost) 4 weeks have been hard. Good, amazing and I love Noah beyond what I ever thought I could...but it's been really really hard. On a few levels.
1. lack of sleep - although Noah's been doing really well with sleeping at night (usually a stretch of 4 hours and then maybe a 3 hour stretch and a 2 1/2 hour stretch and going back to sleep right away - usually) it's still been considerably less than I'm used to and that's taken a toll on me physically and emotionally.
2. being needed almost on a 24 hour basis is amazing but also ridiculously taxing. It's something I can't even explain how it's both so wonderful and yet so frustrating - especially at 3:30am.
3. the struggle with guilt in so many areas is quite perplexing. I feel guilty sometimes when I do this or don't do that and wonder "Should I be doing this? Should I not? Should I feel this way? Am I a bad mother for doing this? What kind of mother does that?" It's like an assault that I feel in a lot of tough(er) decisions I end up making or the feelings I have for certain things - like my love of sleep and desire for it can be quite strong that it turns into frustration.

Anyway, I just need to remind myself of a few things:
a) just go with the flow.
b) don't feel pressure to go or do things. If you want to stay at home all day because leaving is too stressful, feel free.
c) this too shall pass.
d) he will only be this little once. Now that's a sobering thought!
e) though this I am being refined and sanctified and my ugly selfishness is being revealed in new ways so that I might grow and be changed into someone more beautiful because I reflect the patient, loving character of Christ.

photo op

Yesterday I had a bit of fun with the webcam.

The middle one is my favourite because his eyes are crossed.

lacking sleep

Sleep deprivation makes you do funny things.
So for the past couple weeks I've woken up in the night thinking that I was either holding Noah in my arms or he was somewhere in the bed with us but I couldn't find him. This usually ended up in me patting around frantically looking for him and then fully waking up and realizing he was in his crib.
But 2 nights ago I grabbed Jamie and asked him "Where's the baby?" and he said "He's in the bed?" and then I freaked out and said "He's in the bed!?!?" and then I think I woke up and realized again that he wasn't in the bed and Jamie said to me, "Vaness, you really have to stop acting so crazy."
It's true. But I mentioned this to my sister who is in the army and she said that when you're in the field you're quite sleep deprived and often wake up clutching for your rifle thinking, "Where's my gun?"
Funny that motherhood can lead to baby paranoia while the army leads to gun paranoia.
Anyway, last night I didn't wake up until Noah cried and the first stretch was actually 4 hours I think - his longest ever. So we're making progress.

guitar hero

One addicting game for Xbox 360 is Guitar Hero III. I think just about anyone would like this game. If you like music and you generally like computer games you'll like this game. The good thing about it is that you can put it on "easy" and work your way up.
This afternoon Dawn, Eric and Bryce came over and all of us (except for Bryce and Noah) indulged in this highly addictive game. We rocked out to songs by Weezer, The Rolling Stones, ZZ Top, The Killers and other "Rock Legends". It was a lot of fun and currently I hold the record for the most notes played correctly in a row - there's a name for it but right now I can't remember it.
Anyhoo...it was a ton of fun and I look forward to many more jam sessions with Jamie.

motherhood and me

Motherhood is certainly life changing. I recall saying to Jen a few days before Noah was born that I marvelled at mothers - it seemed as though moms become "super"people. They cope with less sleep, more stress, more demands and it really just blows me away sometimes.
Now I find myself getting by day by day with a lot less sleep than I'm used to and I'm still coherent (for the most part) and surviving.
I left the house for the first time in 8 days. Probably the longest I've ever stayed in one place without venturing outside. But I definitely could have gone longer. It was great to get outside for sure, but at this point there are so many changes in my life that I'm still trying to adjust to - both in my own body both physically and emotionally as well as adjusting to this beautiful little newborn in my life.
Next week Jamie is going to a training retreat for 3 days. Originally I had planned to join him but today we decided that it would be too hard - mainly the nights. The nights are the hardest with Noah as he feeds at least every 2 hours. Sometimes he holds out for longer, but often it's a good 2ish hours. So I feel quite torn and sad because I will miss Jamie but I know that I will be 100% more comfortable in my own home where I don't have to worry about not only keeping Jamie up at night, but also anyone within range of Noah's crying. So that's tough. Probably the first of many more tough decisions I'll have to make because of Noah. It is worth it - I love this little boy more than I ever thought I could love someone...but that doesn't negate the hard times and sacrifices that being a mom requires.