Jude, you are FOUR

Dear Jude,

You are four years old! As I type this, you are not quite four. You are lying in bed sleeping beside your older brother. But I thought I would type it up before tomorrow happens and I have a bit of time to reflect before I go to bed.

What a year you've had! We've moved continents, have travelled quite a bit and are currently in limbo while we wait for our home.

You are feisty, independent and you truly march to the beat of your own drum. Seriously. You live in another world and sometimes I'd really like to join you. You have an amazing spirit and I know you are going to do big things some day. I want to help you get there. Sometimes I don't know how, though.

You are running, jumping, shooting, marching, laughing, hugging, squinty-eyed smiling, always moving BOY.

I am so thrilled you came into our family four years and nine months ago. Because you were loved and anticipated from the moment we found out about you.

You can count and recognize letters and numbers and colours and while you don't often sit still for books, you still like to look at them every now and then and will listen to Bible stories if you're upset and need some Mommy-cuddle time. You climb and swim with water wings. You love the park and we have a hard time getting you to leave. You've recently learned how to ride your bike {with training wheels} and my heart soars with pride when I see you pedalling away on your little bike although you tend to give up halfway through wherever we are going.

You adore your big brother and contstantly look to emulate him. Look up to him and emulate the good, but never wish you were him. You are the only you. If you aren't you, no one else will be. Noah has been your built-in playmate for the last 2 years and you've challenged each other, made each other laugh, gotten in trouble with each other and protected each other. I love how you two are such tight friends and brothers and I pray it always stays like that between the both of you.

You love your little brother and although you are often too aggressive with him for my liking, I pray that this is the beginning of a tight, intimate brother-bond that you'll have for life with him. He will look up to you and seek to emulate you. I pray your example is one that inspires him to be fully who God created him to be.

You asked Jesus into your heart just this past month and while I'm not certain you fully know what that means, does anyone ever? You seem to be able to grasp big concepts and always have big, global questions. You truly think outside the box and there doesn't really seem to be any limits {in your mind} of what you can or can't do. I pray that every day you move closer to Jesus and that He becomes your centre, your purpose and your grounding point. He is big enough and full enough and more than enough to satisfy your every craving and desire. 

Happy birthday my beautiful, funny, middle boy! I love you more than I could ever capture in a yearly letter.
You are FOUR!
love,
Mama

Blaise's 10 month letter

Dear Blaise,

You are 10 months old and we've now been in Canada for almost one whole month!
You continue to charm and delight strangers when we're out, and make the rest of us laugh at your antics on the daily.

Right now you're sitting across from me in your high chair munching on pieces of turkey. You initially started swiping at the pieces on your tray before you even tasted them. I guess you didn't think they looked very good. But then I fed you a piece with my fingers and now you're happily munching away.

You've got 3 teeth fully through and one more on the way; two on the top and one on the bottom with its twin about to pop any day now.
This may explain for part of your overly sucky sleep habits as of late {oh hello six nursings last night!} but not fully as you've never been a great sleeper.

You are loving the finger foods and eat most things I give to you - when your feet start kicking we know it's a food you like.

You clearly say "Mama" now and babble and shout and "talk" quite a bit although it depends on your mood.

You started clapping the other day and I die pretty much every time you do it.

Right now we're living with your Auntie Tamsin and Uncle James and their little boy Henry who you love to smile and interact with. He's only 3 months younger than you and I know you guys are going to be best buds.

You are busy, busy, busy; standing, crawling, cruising, pulling stuff, ripping stuff, drooling like crazy and still laughing maniacally when you pull my hair.

I love you, little guy.

Love,
Mama

i'm just here

We've been back in Canada for almost three weeks now. 

It's actually really surreal to be back. In some ways I almost feel like, Did the last two years even happen? because some things are just exactly like how they used to be whether it's relationships or places or people. But in other ways I feel such a disconnect that reminds me {quite loudly} that I've spent the last two years of my life living and loving in Africa. 

It's been busy and full and tiring and fun and lots of time at parks and splash pads and full of trips to the mall and shops that are full of lovely, pretty things that remind me how easy it is for me to fall into

I want, I need, I must have. 

We've been living with friends and it's been good but I am longing for our own home. Somewhere to settle. Somewhere to love and make memories and turn into a building that welcomes others in to join in on our loud, messy, love-filled life. 

And on that note, we did find and buy our very first home! {More to come on our house, what we thought it might be, what we ended up getting and my hopes for the different spaces in it.} We get possession mid-August and I am all over Pinterest and Apartment Therapy and tons of other design blogs getting ideas and plans to turn into a place that encourages creativity and soul-refreshment and joy-filled living.

I haven't journalled and I obviously haven't been blogging so there's a lot inside my head. I just need time and space for it all to come out. There's a lot to process and I'm not going to lie; most evenings I just want to watch a tv show and go to bed. It's exhausting. But we'll figure out how to make the last two years mesh into the life we find ourselves in to make our new normal. Thanks for still following along here despite the quietness.

**all pictures except for the first two were taken by my very talented sister

July THREE

We're back! Life is crazy but good.

I took this one of the boys in the grocery store yesterday. A bonus shot with Jamie in it.

And today Erin {my sister-in-law} took this one of the boys in the food court at the mall. Classic.

Sorry it's been so quiet around here. It's good to be back in Canada, but I'm struggling to "keep up" so am just trying to focus on the most important things {which would be people} these days.
I'll find my groove, I promise.

I take pictures of my boys on the third of each month. See past months here.