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Friday, April 3, 2009

thoughts...

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
Jeremiah 17:9

I've often thought of myself as a fairly non-judgmental person. I generally accept people and like them upon first meeting them.
But if there's one thing I've learned upon becoming a Mom it's that I am still preoccupied with comparing myself (and my kids!) to others. It's something that makes me feel sad because my head knows and reasons with my heart that each child and each parent is different, made uniquely wonderful. Yet my heart taunts back either end of the spectrum: I do it better than them OR They do it better than me (or other similar statements).
Sometimes it's a conscious thought and other times I don't even realize I'm thinking it.
The former happened today as I sat in the food court at the mall and watched a mother yell at her 5 (?) year old son to sit still and eat his food. But this wasn't enough, she continued to belittle him (I couldn't hear exactly what she was saying) until he was almost in tears.
It broke my heart, made me angry and also convicted me.
I don't know her circumstance or what her day had been like thus far...but that didn't stop the thoughts from flowing in a heated discussion between head and heart...

Then again, I'm sure other Moms watched me feed french fries to my 17 month old son and tisked away at me thinking all I feed my son is junk and how could I do that? But...no one may have noticed at all!

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