I get it.
I'm not a super sappy or sentimental person, but I am a wreck. I am crying and reminiscing and trying to keep it together for the sake of my other kiddos.
We dropped Noah off this morning at school. Grade one. All day. Every day. I was doing okay until I watched him find a seat at a small desk in a small chair across from a couple other boys. I smiled and waved at him and he waved back and I walked away and lost it.
He was so excited and brave and when we walked into the school (was I really the only parent to accompany their kid? Or did I just break some unspoken rule?) he was a bit unsure and wanted me to come with him to pick out a hook to hang his backpack on. Only a pair of shoes, a lunch box and a pencil case and that backpack was heavy. He's so little.
How is it that I remember his birth so clearly? How is it that I'm a Mom to a little boy in grade one? How did that happen?
I wish I could be a fly on the wall in his classroom.
What is he learning? Who is he meeting? Is he loving every minute of it? Is he regretting coming in the first place? Will he know how to find the bathroom and lunch room?
Dear Jesus, please be with my boy. Guard him. Lead him to the friends that will encourage and uplift him. Help him make good choices.
Did I do enough to prepare him? I feel so unprepared myself.
Last night we did a special dinner together. And by "special" I mean we used a table cloth and had cloth napkins and ate tacos.
It was loud and we ate quickly. Jamie prayed for Noah and we talked about standing up for what's right and being true to ourselves. And then it was all over.
This morning we had Timbits and smoothies and pancakes and applesauce (because apparently we have no fruit in the house. Whoops.) and we prayed again for Noah and I read him Joshua 1:9.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged. For the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
I have been continually praying and releasing my children into God's hands. Surrendering them over and over again. Praying for their teachers and friends.
This parenting gig isn't for the weak of heart.
Mine is getting an overhaul as I type this.
I love you, Noah. I'm so proud of you.
Stay sweet. Have fun. Be a light.
(((hugs))) I hear ya, mama! Counting my blessings everyday as I get to home-school this year, and get ready for another year at Heritage next year in Uganda! Lots of love and prayers! He's got you. And Noah!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kel. Soak it up with your boys. :)
DeleteHow were you so on top of things when you sent the boys to school?!? I'm amazed.
awwww. I don't know if I'm emo or something, but I totally teared up reading this!! He looks like a mini-teenager in the first picture.
ReplyDeleteI know, eh?!?! Crazy. (STOP GROWING SO FAST!)
DeleteHow fine is our boy Noah?? great job Mom - we're praying the same things (and I'm crying too). I remember it well. The pictures are awesome, and your whole prep is amazing! I love you - the boys are blessed to call you Momma! xo Mom
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mom. I'm a blessed Mom because of them. :)
DeleteIt seems Joshua 1:9 is as much for mamas as it is for the kids. Hang in there!! Love his first-day outfit.
ReplyDeleteYes! It totally is. I was just thinking that as I was typing it out. :)
Deletei totally get it. i used to think "i won't cry when my kid goes to school" oh man was i ever wrong. it is hard, especially the releasing them into God's hands. i want to be at the school all the time, making sure he's safe and secure, loving and being loved. wow, not easy. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteExactly, Michelle. Loving and being loved. That's exactly it.
Deleteoh gosh, forget it I'm not even a mom and I cried reading the first couple paragraphs. Couldn't believe that was Noah in the first picture :S ack!!! I love how you guys talk about the truth of God when you go to bed, when you eat, when you rise. You are a great example to your kids of how faith is lived out :) Keep going!
ReplyDelete