on weaning.

I am done breastfeeding Jude.

Remember the time when I wrote about Jude refusing me and then me just not offering the boob the next night? Well...it happened. Or didn't. (?) Either way, the night before he refused was his last time breastfeeding.

And I'm sad. I don't remember feeling this way after weaning Noah.

When Jude is crying or upset, I have this urge to whip out the boob and comfort him. But I don't even know if I'm all dried up yet or if there's something left. And he doesn't ask for it.
All I know is that urge makes me sad. Sad that I have no physical "somethingness" to give to him from my own body.

But he was done. And ... I'm going away in a week anyway. So we're done.

But I'm still kinda sad.

the process

The weaning process has begun.

In earnest. (I just wanted to write "in earnest".)

Today I decided to give Jude formula this afternoon instead of the boob.

I had to go and buy formula first. And a sippy cup (the one that worked well with Noah was this one. We have another one that is good as well, but I find at this point the liquid just comes out too fast for Jude. We'll keep it around and use it in a couple weeks when he's got the hang of things.)

I wasn't too sure if he'd take it or not. He refused a couple times with a snarly look on his face and then

he took it!

And he gulped

and gulped

and gulped some more. And then he let out a huge belch. He didn't quite finish the entire thing (about 120 mls) but he drank most of it I'd say. I am pleased.

This picture just makes me laugh because of Jude's legs.

So I am feeling quite free with my afternoons now that I don't have to get back anywhere to nurse my baby. (And this means I'll probably be welcoming my least favourite relative - Aunt Flo - back into my life sometime soonish. Sigh. Oh well. Did I just write about Aunt Flo on my blog? Honestly. I need to stop blogging after 10pm.)

And that's that.

hey sleep...where'd ya go?

I'm finally doing it. I am done nursing in the night. Done.

2 nights ago it was 1am, 3:30am and 5:45am - and then 8am. Do I have a newborn or a 9 month old?
Honestly.

Last night there was a wake up at 1:30, but it was short-lived and he fell back to sleep. Then a feeding at around 3am and then I can't even remember if there was a 5 or 6am one but then he was up around 7:45 for the day.
Ugh.

So yesterday I took Jude for his 9 month check up with the doctor and he is 21lbs! She said he doesn't need to be fed in the middle of the night which I agreed with and already knew. We talked about how with the second or subsequent child we do whatever it takes to either a) get back to sleep as fast as possible or b) not wake up the other child(ren). Hence the subsequent child(ren) don't usually sleep "through the night" as early as the first child with which we were single-minded in our quest to make sure we are teaching our child good sleep habits and sleeping through the night is the ultimate goal (as opposed to maintaining the peace at all costs).

So she said I can either just keep doing what I'm doing until I'm ready to let him cry a little.

And I'm ready.

I actually had a bit of an epiphany, though. I don't have to FULLY let him cry it out. What if I just go in and hold him for a couple minutes and then put him back down? What if?

So this was tested already (yeah, it's midnight and I'm still up. What's it to ya? I blog best late at night!) as Jude woke around ... 11 (?) tonight and so I let him cry. He stopped after a few minutes on and off (his typical style). I got ready for bed and heard him making noises as I got into bed at around 11:30. He cried. He stopped. He laughed (?). He cried. He stopped. Long pause. He cried again. Working himself up.

So I go in. He's on his belly. I pick him up, and rock him. He resists at first and tries to suck on my arm.
Haha...this is funny to me.

I do some soft "shushing" noises and keep rocking him slowly. He relaxes but stares up at me. The kid just doesn't fall asleep in my arms. Meh.

So he's calm but awake.
I put him down and give him his "bunny". He whimpers for a second and then the fingers go in the mouth and - dang. He's crying again. He would.

ANYWAY

He WAS quiet and calm. But no longer.

So we'll see how tonight goes.

I think I'm going to need a large cup of coffee tomorrow morning.

Good thing I bought French Vanilla flavour.
Mmm...