tired

What I wouldn't give for some more sleep. In fact, a dream weekend for me would be to sleep for the entire duration of it.
Last night I got Jude to bed before the 10pm feed but then when I tried to get him to feed at around 10:30pm he wouldn't wake up and he wouldn't eat in his sleep.
So I went to bed and Jude woke up at 12:30am. Grunting, farting but not eating. It was really frustrating and I felt like I was going to drop from exhaustion.
So I put him back down after a few sips at the boob since he didn't seem interested.
He woke up at around 3am I think - same thing happened.
Woke up at 5:30am - lather, rinse, repeat.

Sigh.

I am tired. I want more sleep. And I would like it right now.

We are forgoing church this morning as Jamie's working on campus all day today and I just don't have it in me to take 2 little ones by myself (and likely end up in Noah's classroom for the whole service anyway).

I'm tired.

victory

Last night my sister got engaged and some family and friends were going to meet at a restaurant and surprise my sister there post-proposal. However, the meeting time wasn't until after 8pm (and I was guessing at least after 8:30pm by the time my sister and her fiance were to show up).
So I weighed my options...
Do we bring Noah and Jude? Just Jude? Do we go at all?
Oh yes, and this was in downtown Toronto - so about...an hour+ away from home for us.
I really wanted to be there for my sister and felt bad leaving one or both boys with Jamie so I decided we should go for it. I had no idea how Noah would do being up so late, but we were going to be flexible and that was that.
Well the surprise was surprising for my sister and lovely and wonderful and I'm so glad I could be there for it all!
Noah was a sweetie pie and wanted to cuddle up in my arms a few times with a blanket and his soother - he knew it was past his bedtime but was very sweet and didn't act out at all. At one point he was playing under the table and started clapping and saying "Yay!" when everyone cheered for my sister and her fiance. In all, he was up about 3 hours past his bedtime! Jude slept through the entire thing (shouting and "yay"ing and clapping and everything) and both boys were great.
I used to think I was a very laid back person pre-kids and was shocked after Noah was born to find out that I, indeed did appreciate (and often NEEDED) structure and predictability to my days - it was at least SOMETHING I could count on to happen if nothing else did.
Now that our routine has been solidified for many, many months now it's nice to break from it all every now and then and the fact that both boys slept through the whole ride home and Jude was even able to stretch the time between feedings to about 3.5 hrs (instead of 2.5 or 3!) was simply a wonderful (if not hoped for) bonus.
In my quest to be "flexible" I am victorious.

bye bye

It is the end of an era.

Last night as I was brushing my teeth, my tongue stud fell out. Well, okay, the entire thing did not fall out, but the ball on the top had become unscrewed and when I spit in the sink, it came out and down the drain it went.
I have many other little fasteners (can I just write "balls"?) for the top of my tongue stud, but I stood there and debated - to leave out or not to leave out the tongue stud?

I decided to leave it out.

I am not defined by my tongue stud. I am past the phase where I hoped that when people realized I had a tongue stud, they'd think I was so cool. Tongue stud or not, I think I can be pretty cool. (When I'm not so sleep deprived?)

Anyway, 9 years ago I got my tongue stud (in New Zealand of all places!).

Last night I took it out. (Or rather decided to leave it out.)

I don't regret it. I don't think.

music

So even in my new Mom/hermit-like state, I am managing to hear (everybody cheer for the internet on the count of three...) about fantastic music - namely, Grizzly Bear's Two Weeks. This song is so epic it inspires fans to make amazing videos. Take this one for example:

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

Or how about this one:



Amazing.

Such a good song. I think I'll have to investigate this band called Grizzly Bear. I don't think I have enough credit on iTunes anymore to purchase the entire album but at the very least, I may just purchase this song.

8 things

8 Things I’m Looking Forward To:

1. getting more than 3 hrs of sleep in a row
2. going out on Friday for Starbucks with Jen
3. autumn
4. fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes
5. being at full support
6. seeing Noah & Jude play together one day
7. getting a haircut
8. going on a date with Jamie some day soon

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. nursed Jude (numerous times)
2. napped
3. ate some amazing shishkabobs & peach pie (courtesy of Amanda!)
4. took pictures of Jude
5. went to the library
6. went on Facebook
7. played with Noah
8. visited with Beth & Dorrie

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Sleep for more than 3 hrs at a time
2. lose weight more quickly
3. resist sweets
4. go on a vacation
5. sing really well
6. act in a musical/play
7. Not have bags under my eyes
8. sit outside and not sweat to death with all this humidity

8 Shows I Watch:

1.How I Met Your Mother
2. 24
3. Smallville
4. LOST
5. Heroes
6. The Office
7. Beverly Hills 90210 (on DVD)
8. Prison Break

8 Favorite Fruits:

1. Strawberries
2. Blackberries
3. Apples
4. Raspberries
5. Bananas (but only before they get too ripe)
6. Clementine Oranges
7. Mangos
8. Pineapple

8 Places I’d Like To Travel To:

1. Greece
2. New Zealand (again)
3. Fiji
4. French Polynesia
5. Italy
6. England (to visit my friend living there)
7. Thailand
8. France

8 Places I’ve Lived:

1. Toronto, ON
2. Kitchener, ON
3. Guelph, ON
4. Cambridge, NZ
5. Dar es Salaam, Tanzania (but only for a few months at a time)
6. That's it...unless you count the times I've moved IN Guelph
7.
8.

Only do it if you want to!

One of “those Moms”

Oh my word. I just realized something. I'm one of "those Moms". "Those Moms" were the Moms that were posting on Facebook after their kiddies were born how much they loved being a Mom and how being a Mom was so great, blah blah blah. I hated those Moms when I first had Noah. Being a Mom was hard. Tiring. I had sore lady parts, a sore chest, experiencing major sleep deprivation and what the heck was my body doing now? Sure I could sleep on my stomach now that I wasn't pregnant, but sleep? What was that again? And uh, once my milk came in there was no way I was sleeping on my stomach with these girls aching every hour to have some sort of release. I was paranoid, anxious and experiencing a mild case of PPD (post partum depression). I couldn't get through singing "You are my sunshine" to Noah without bawling my eyes out or having to stop because of the asteroid-sized lump in my throat. I was anti-social, bothered by excessive noise and always "heard" the baby crying even if he wasn't.

But this time around is like a breath of fresh air. I am relaxed. Confident. And I'm happy. Jude is laid back, and when he does fuss, it's not the end of my world. It's definitely not the end of his either. He figured out the whole breastfeeding thing and took to it like a champ. Speaking of champs, he poops like one too. He does what babies do. Eat, sleep and poop. And this phase is so short – and I KNOW THAT this time around. And despite being, yes, a bit sleep deprived, I am enjoying it all.

Sure Noah is acting out a wee bit – today's trip to the grocery store was evidence of that – but like all of us, he's tired but doing well. He loves his baby brother and is sweet and gentle with him.

I had just lain down for a nap when my facebook status came back at me like a slap in the face: "Vanessa Strickland loves being a Mommy to her two little boys."

Yep. I'm definitely one of "those Moms".

Now…for that nap. (Jude will wake up in approximately 7 minutes – called it.)

We meet our little man

He's here!
Jude Calvin Strickland was born at home on July 31st at 1:44pm. He weighs 9lbs12oz and is 22.5 inches long. He's one big fella!
You can check out his blog at: http://judesjournals.blogspot.com

S&S v. 2.0

Had another stretch and sweep today. Carol said it was a big one and was amazed at my coping skills. It was mostly uncomfortable and labour will be more painful anyway so as long as it helps get baby OUT I'm fine to try it!
Not much else to update - I've been crampy and whatnot, but that's nothing new as of the past few weeks. And I'm tired. I'm definitely going to take a nap when Noah does. I'm zonked!

grumpster

This may be gross, but it's my blog so don't read it if you don't like it.
(On an entirely different note, I'm such a grouch today...)
Anyway, so I've been losing mucous all day long. Dark and blood tinged...I never had this with Noah. It's a good sign I know, but I'd just like my water to break already and things to be underway. Or to start getting whammo blammo contractions. I know I'll regret wishing for pain when it's actually upon me, but right now ANYTHING seems better than waiting.
Plus Noah has totally been acting up - likely in response to my bad mood I'm sure. But either way, it's not helping anything.
Poor Jamie is just trying not to rock the boat while at the same time wishing this baby here as well!
Sigh.
Tomorrow is another S&S so hopefully if I don't go into labour tonight, that tomorrow something will happen.
Ugh.

confirmation

Okay NOW I lost my mucous plug. That was gross. But that was it. For sure.
Now to get things moving!

5 days overdue *graphic details

5 days overdue now.
Over the past few nights I've had cramping and Braxton Hicks contractions around 10:30pm but then nothing much more than that.
This morning I am fairly certain I lost my mucous plug. It was tinged with blood, so I'm thinking that's what it was.
The baby also dropped quite a bit. I have a huge space now between my chest and my belly! These are all positive signs, I just worry about going overdue past 10 days. I don't want an induction and I don't want any medical interventions, so I'm hoping for sooner rather than later.
Today is rainy and pretty boring so far. It's making me sleepy. And somewhat grumpy.
Come on baby!!!

midwife appt

Had a stretch AND sweep today. Carol (Heather is now on holidays) did it and said that I was likely at 3cm and not 4cm. But that she could stretch me to 5. Anyway, so it was uncomfortable, but not unbearable by any means. If I haven't had this baby by Thursday I'll go in for another one. And then possibly one on Saturday if he's not here by then.
Everything else seems good, we're just waiting on contractions/waters to break/things to start HAPPENING!
I'm going to eat and then rest.

3 days overdue.
Annoying, but I'm mostly over it. I'm resigned to the fact that I will indeed be pregnant for forever.
Today we decided to "risk" it and go to Burlington to visit with Jamie's Mom and Nana. We went out for lunch at the Mandarin and I had the greasiest Chinese food I could (apparently that's supposed to help start labour) and then we visited Burlington's Fire Station (Noah has now been to Waterloo, Guelph and Burlington fire stations). After that we thought we'd take a trip to the Burlington mall, which is actually quite a nice mall (they just got a XXI store and are getting a Bath and Body Works soon - all the stores are really nice too) but by the end of it I was exhausted.
Noah was treated to a Hot Wheels Fire Truck from Nana and a kiddie pool from Great Nana and then he napped all the way home.
I haven't felt a twinge or anything out of the ordinary. Not even the usual cramping/stomach tightening I've been having since at least Wednesday.
Noah was 4 days overdue. If I go past 4 days I think I might be quite frustrated. I DON'T want an August baby (not that there's anything wrong with August babies...).
I feel like I'm having a grown up temper tantrum. Sorta.
I waver between being totally blase about still being pregnant and then completely grumpy and impatient.
Every night we go to bed thinking, "Tonight could be the night!" and every morning we wake up with me still pregnant and no baby or imminent labour.
Right now I'm washing the sweet little outfits my Mom bought for the baby and we'll get around to eating dinner soon enough I reckon.
Le Sigh.
Tomorrow I have a midwife appointment at noon which I hope not to make it to. But likely I will be there - still pregnant.

40 weeks

what's a girl gotta do?

It's due date day. Actually it's almost over. 11:04pm. And still no baby.
I went for a mother-long walk - 4.5 km - with Noah this morning and tried to visualize my waters breaking or major cramping coming on but nothing.
Le Sigh.
Anyway, I suppose it could happen tonight and even though I WANT it to happen that way, I doubt it will. But for goodness sakes - what more needs to happen?
An interesting thing to note:
At my midwife appointment on Wednesday, the intern Kristi said that "they" (medical professionals I assume) still don't know what makes labour start (naturally I'm assuming as there are many hormonal inductions, etc.). Whether it's the baby that sends a message, or releases some sort of hormone or whether it's the mother's body or what...
I found this fascinating.
And so cool.
The mystery of the human body, pregnancy and birth. Very interesting.
Anyway, so...Jamie and I just watched 3 episodes of season 7 of 90210, ate some chips and dip and I suppose I should get to sleep now...but not before I take my WEEK 40 pregnancy picture.
Come on baby!