growing up

I'm back from Toronto. Back from Christmas festivities. Back from Winter Conference. Back from living NOT at home for the past week and a half.
It feels nice to be back.
This Christmas was different. It wasn't really fun but it was good. I think I've always looked forward to Christmas because you get to be a kid again but now celebrating Christmas with a kid is a little bit more work and effort. Like I had to be a responsible adult or something weird like that.
Winter Conference was extremely different. The first day and a half I wanted to NOT be there. Stuck in a hotel room. With a cranky 2 month old. Not fun.
But after Noah got settled and started napping again and we were in one location for more than 24 hours a bit of normality settled into our lives again. I was able to enjoy some sessions, even walk through the Eaton Centre with Noah in the Baby Bjorn and even go out to dinner a few times with friends!
I did, however, spend New Years (the last 30 minutes of 2007) in my hotel room, in bed, by myself, watching the countdown on tv.
It was okay because Noah was sleeping and I was tired anyway. I had prepared myself to be in the hotel room anyway. While it was still a bit disappointing and I almost had teary eyes as I left Jen's hotel room with a very tired little boy (who wouldn't fall asleep amidst adult conversation and a bit of laughter), in the end ... it's okay.
I'm glad that I truly can say that it's okay that that's where I spent New Years. I don't want to be bitter and being a parent continues to stretch and challenge my self-centeredness so I'm trying to embrace that and look at the good things - for instance that Noah was sleeping and not screaming. That's a VERY good thing. :)