The Nest

I am totally obsessed with the robin nest that is so perfectly situated in the empty planter that is attached to the wall right outside our door.

I noticed the makings of a nest starting to form a day or so ago and then all of a sudden - a nest! And then...2 beautiful, blue robin eggs. They are everything you'd imagine them to be. A gorgeous colour of blue. (Hence the colour Robins Egg Blue.) Perfect and smooth.

And then - 3 beautiful eggs!
(And a couple scares where I got home late at night and upon entering the door, the robin flew out of the nest - not at me, but just to get away. Scared the buhjeezies out of me.)

Anyway so Jamie tells me there are 2 robins in there right now. I want to go check. In fact, I want to install a 24 hour birdie cam to watch them. Is that weird? I don't really care. I'm so intrigued! And I can't wait for those eggs to hatch!

I've already taken a bajillion pictures of the eggs, perhaps I'll get a picture of the babies when they're hatched. I just hope I don't get dive bombed by any angry Mama Birdies.

You can count on more pictures and updates on the nest. Perhaps I should capitalize it. The Nest.

Enjoy these pictures of The Nest.

*in this one you can see just how small The Nest is to be tucked away in such a small planter. So tiny. So perfect. I just want to nom on it.

So, are you done having kids?

I remember sometime after Noah was born and after I got through those hazy, sleep-deprived, anxious, PPD first few months waking up and thinking

I want another one.

Immediately followed by

Am I crazy?

I think it's partly a natural instinct to want to continue to expand your family - on multiple levels - but it's quite possibly that I was crazy due to sleep deprivation. Either way, sometime just before Noah's first birthday Jude was on the way.

Surprisingly it hit me again after Jude was born. This time I know exactly what was driving it - hurry up and get out of this newborn stage as fast as I can. Let's just pop out one (two? three?) more and get it over with.

Then I came to my senses. For now.

I'd LOVE more kids, but I also want to take time to just enjoy being a family of 4. I'm still pretty young and there's plenty of time to have more kids - whether biological or adopted or both. I also want to take some time to let my body adjust and become its new "normal".

I read somewhere that it takes TWO YEARS for your body to fully regulate and transition from being pregnant to not. No wonder it's taking my body so much longer to "bounce back" after having a 2nd child in 2 years.

Anyway, having a child right away to get a certain stage "over with" is not a good reason either. So for now, we are a really happy family of 4. Plus, if we had another kid we'd have to get a bigger vehicle. And I'm not ready to be a minivan-Mom. *shudder* (No offense to those of you who are minivan-Moms. I know you love your vans. I'm just not there yet. But I will be. I know I will. Just not.right.now.)

Now a lot of my friends who have one child are thinking of having another, trying to have another or are already pregnant with their second (or they're just going ahead and getting pregnant with twins! :D). It's easy to see now that though I did "miss" a lot with Noah being so young when I got pregnant again (and after Jude was born a lot is quite blurry in the memory department - thank God for pictures and videos!), both his life and Jude's life are so much richer because of each other.

I also have to remember what that felt like - to want another child to be close in age to my first born. And how at the time, I thought "Yeah, it'll be hard. But so what? We'll get through it." And I'm betting every other Mom contemplating having a second feels exactly the same way. And no amount of me telling them every horror story or complaining about the lack of sleep is going to change their minds. Maybe. So for now, I refrain. And to be honest, it's always the first 4ish months that kill me. We're in a good stage now. But then Jude will learn to crawl and then walk. And we'll be in another stage with its own set of challenges. And we'll conquer them as we get there. And I know I certainly don't want other Mom's giving me doomsday warnings at every.single.stage I get to. Real life advice and stories? Yes. But don't rain on my parade! (This I say to remind myself not to rain on others' parades either.)

At this point in my life, I don't think I have a set number in my head of how many kids I want. I want the family that God wants for me. Whether that's 2 kids (but I'd be kinda sad to be honest) or 6, I'm fine with it.

On a rant-y note...when we start trying again, I will NOT be trying for a girl. I will be trying to get pregnant. I think at this point I'd actually like a girl (as opposed to where I was a year or so ago where I only wanted boys. No girls. At all.) but I can see how fun (and um, car-AY-zee!) it would be to have 3 boys! I hate the idea of people thinking my family would be less than "perfect" if I didn't have one of each gender. No one's family is perfect. My family will be complete whenever we stop having kids. And then one day our kids grow up and get married. And our family will expand again! And it will be glorious! But I'm getting carried away with myself here...All that to say...I welcome another child - boy OR girl into my family when that time comes. (But it's not right now. At least that I know of. *wink*)

Breakfast conversation

More funny Noah-isms...

This morning at breakfast Noah looked up at me and gave me the thumbs up.

Noah "Thumbs up, Mommy. (pause) That means you're good. (pause) That means you're sad."

Me "No it doesn't! It means you're great!"

Noah "It means you're a crazy driver, Mama."

WHAT?!?!

Seriously, folks. I'm a fantastic driver. Probably the 2nd best I know. (Jamie is definitely the best in my books.)

Crazy kid.

Wonder who he gets it from?

Who & What (why is on its way I'm sure)

Lately Noah's questions have been so great.

Just now he asked, "What's the cheese called?"

Other questions:

"Who made our house?"

"Who made this dinner?"

"Where did my church go?"

"What's it called?"

"What her name?"

"Is that delicious, Mama?" (re: me eating a piece of cheese)

names

Lately Noah's taken to calling me "Mom".

And not just "Mom", but "MoooooOOOOM" even if he's sitting right beside me. It's funny and interesting all at once.

He still calls me Mama and sometimes Mommy. But right now it's either Mom or Mama.

Or it's "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. MOOOOOOoooooM."

Goodness gracious I'm going to go out of my mind.

Biting

Oi. Just when I said to someone that Jude wasn't biting while nursing, he chomps down on me the next day. Twice.

OW!

It really hurts. Usually I pull off and say "NO!" firmly to Jude and he'll just smile up at me because he's done drinking anyway (punk).

But yesterday he REALLY chomped down and it hurt like the dickens. So much so that I roared and said, "NO!!!!" and he started wailing away. It was kinda funny actually, but at the same time I hoped it would make him NOT do it anymore. Well, the side he bit me on still hurts today and he's nipped a few more times, but nothing like yesterday.

So we're still figuring out how to nurse with teeth, but I think he's getting it.

He better get it. Or he's not getting the boob for much longer.
Come to think of it, I am starting to re-remember going through this with Noah! Wow. It's amazing how much we forget...

In his Daddy's shoes...

Why post pictures of my sleeping baby?

Because this is probably the cutest thing you're going to see all day.

Sleep and stuff with Jude

So it's official. I am done doing the dream feed. Woohoo! Freedom! Jude wasn't sleeping through the night anyway, so I didn't feel like I had anything to lose.

Wouldn't you know it?
He starts sleeping through the night! What up with that?

For the past 4 (5?) nights he has slept through the night. He'll often stir for about 5 or so minutes around 11pm but then go back to sleep. It's amazing. Last night he did wake up at 5:30 so I thought I'd feed him since it was close enough to morning. He went back to sleep until 8am which was lovely.

Last night I went to bed at 9:30. 9:30, people! Jamie asked me if I was 12 years old as I lay in bed at 9:30 with a big smile on my face.

Other than that, Jude's attachment is growing more and more intense. It's a bit frustrating to be quite honest. The second he sees me, he's fussing and whining to be with me, even if he was happy as a lark before. Luckily I can still leave him with other people at the church or the Y and he's fine (unlike with Noah). I'm hoping that won't change!

I know it's quite normal and we'll move past it eventually...but the whining is driving me quite batty. It's likely his teeth bothering him as well (the top two are on their way in!) so I know it's not ALL him just being a little punk.

More funny phrases from Noah

I am loving the phrases that are coming out of Noah's mouth! They crack me up.
Today was,

"I want to tell you something, Daddy."

"Yes, Noah?"

"I want to go downstairs."

He also has discovered, "Watch me, Mama!"

I love his phrase "Try again." and when he trips or slips he will often look up at me with a smile (if it's a minor fall) and say, "ha! I trip/slip!"

He also called me a "cheeky monkey" today and told me I was funny. :)

Oh and the other day while I was driving him and Jude somewhere he told me I was a crazy driver. I felt the need to explain to him that I was not, in fact, a crazy drive but actually I am a very good driver. He insisted that I was crazy and I then decided I wasn't going to defend my stellar driving skills to a 2.5 year old and so we ended the conversation.

This is a fun age, but the downside is correcting wrong words/phrases - like when Noah will tell (usually) Jamie to "stop talking!". Not cool.

Jude's food

I've been trying to keep introducing new foods to Jude so he doesn't become as picky as Noah was/is. But that requires planning. Which I'm sorta bad at.

But we have had a few successes and a couple of failures.

Yesterday was Jude's first taste of ground beef and he loved it! I was actually quite surprised, but he really loved it.

He gobbled up some bbq'd chicken we had on Friday. Previously he wasn't so much into the chicken, but he really liked it on Friday so that was good.

He has tried cauliflower a few times, but so far he's not a fan.

I'm not really pureeing food for him any more so that's a lot easier.

Usually I just stick a sweet potato in the toaster oven for an hour or so (depending on how big it is) and then scoop out the flesh and cut it into squares for a few meals. He loves sweet potato so that works really well.

He also eats soup which is nice.

He could eat Cheerios all day every day, but I'm trying not to default to that. I'm struggling with breakfast foods, but most mornings he usually eats oatmeal and something else - whether it's yogurt or fruit or toast.

Oh yes. He usually likes yogurt.

All in all, he's a growing boy and still chunking up so I guess everything is where it should be!

rhyming

Today in the car, on the way home from the Y (pretty much the entire way) Noah and I went back and forth saying,

See ya later, Alligator!

In awhile, Crocodile! (My favourite is Noah's pronounciation "croc-oh-dile")

Not too soon, you big baboon!

I laughed every time he said "baboon".

Dream Feed Update

Last night I didn't end up feeding Jude at the dream feed - by the time I got upstairs he had stopped crying and settled for the night. I did feed him around 4am when he woke up, but other than that, it was good.

Tonight I was out until 11:15pm and Jamie said that Jude hadn't woken up at all so perhaps he's moving past this dream feeding waking. (Or at least for tonight he has...cuz you can never predict babies' sleeping patterns! :D)

It's 11:38pm and I think I should get to bed!

My boys - differences

The other day I was reflecting with someone how different my boys are.

It shouldn't be that surprising, but for some reason it is, to me.

I feel as though I need to document all the differences I can think of so I don't forget them - especially for this stage:

Noah:

- has always been a Mama's boy - right from day 1.

He's always preferred to be held by me, was comforted best by me - whether that was due largely to being a first born, me being paranoid and so often keeping him close with me I don't know. Perhaps, but I think also it's just how he is/was.

- is reserved around people he doesn't know

I'm not sure if he's an introvert or not, probably more like me in that he's happy go-lucky around people he knows, but put him in a big group or unknown environment he's very shy and intimidated and almost goes into shut-down mode. We continue to expose him to these situations and support him and help him work through this and I think he'll figure out his own way to deal with large groups of strangers, but for now I'm hoping this will translate in him not running off with someone he doesn't know!

- is physically affectionate

He is a cuddler. Always has been. And always has been comforted by physical touch - whether it was us rocking him to sleep or giving a hug and kiss, he would usually stop crying immediately when we would pick him up out of his crib. I didn't have the experience of a baby pushing me away, it was usually peeling him OFF of me. :)

- is slow to adapt to change

Noah needs new things or change in general transitioned gradually. Even from the time he was a few months old, he would get overwhelmed by new places, people and things. Now we know that we need to talk about things beforehand and try and prep him as best as we can. As well, once we HAVE introduced a new situation, that we should come back and expose him to that again because it's likely he will enjoy it much more the second, third, fourth time around (swimming pools, the zoo/animals, etc.) This also relates with his extreme "making strange" stage he went through around 5 or 6 months I believe.

- is extremely tactile and attuned with his senses

Noah has always been turned off by food that looks or feel "weird" (for instance his dislike of all pasta. Has NEVER liked pasta). He warmed up to sand and grass as an infant, but it took a long time. He is constantly asking "What's that noise?" as he picks up on even the smallest of sounds.

Jude:

- is a people lover

Jude just loves people. He will smile at people even if they aren't looking in his direction (which makes me want to tell them to look at him, because his smile is just so darn cute!). He has never made strange as of yet and although he has come to prefer me if I'm in the room, that is more of a recent development. I'm pretty sure he is an extrovert already and just loves the attention he receives from whoever will give it to him!

- not a cuddler

Jude isn't a cuddler. He likes being with me, but I think he gets more excited about "quality time" than "physical touch" (if you want to break it down into love languages). When he was younger and was crying and I picked him up, he'd continue crying until he was either fed or the gas he was feeling was released (usually the 2 reasons he would cry). It wasn't until recently that my presence sometimes calmed his crying down. He often pushes off of me and I'm not sure if it's a playful push or just him being unsure of what he wants. It's also so clear that he wants/needs his personal space a lot. Especially when Noah tries to hold his hands. He'll often flip out, wave his hands around and whine a lot (which drives me bonkers!). This will be interesting to see how these two brothers handle each other's needs and comfort levels as they grow older!

- adapts well to change and embraces it

Jude has been really good about adjusting to new people and places and this has made going out a lot easier than it ever was with Noah at this stage. It's also been easy to leave him with people to babysit while I'm out with Jamie or whatnot. I think he enjoys the change in scenery and had a feeling of this early on as he'd calm down when we were on walks outside or at someone else's house.

They are both so different and yet I just love them each so much! I'm so thankful for their differences and love seeing how uniquely they have been created. I can't wait to see where God takes them, how He uses them and how I can best help them uncover their potential!

Dream Feed Droppage

Night one of dropping the dream feed.

It's 10:57pm and Jude has (surprisingly) not woken up. Generally he's woken up every night at some point between 9:30 and 11pm. But not tonight. It could be because he had shorter naps and was busy, busy so got tired out, but we'll see.
We shall see how tonight goes.

An update will be posted sometime tomorrow. (And so begins my obsessive blogging about sleep habits...please feel free to skip over them as they appear. I blog because I will forget.)

*edit - it's 11:29 and Jude's wailing away. Hm, I think I will feed him. The kid can holler, let me tell you!

Well, the boys are still in separate rooms. Which is fine. It's a lot less complicated, but I wonder when they'll ever share a room and be comfortable with it. My goal is by the end of July because that's when we'll all be in a hotel room together for a week.

But Jude's sleep right now is so crap. Blech.

Last night he was up at 9:30, then 10, then 1:30 (but I think I thought it was later?) and then 5:30. Then he was up at 7 perhaps but I left him for a couple minutes and then he fell back to sleep until 8. I really would like at least 7 consecutive hours of sleep.

Plus we're still doing the "dream feed" but I'm thinking of stopping because I think he's waking out of habit and not out of hunger. We'll see if that helps his sleep. And I'll up his food intake during the day.

Ack, the things we (being Mothers) do for more sleep!

And then there's the issue of moving Noah to a big boy bed! Oh man. It's too much! It's too much!

Bath time conversations

Tonight in the bath Noah was inspecting his latest "owie" that he got from wiping out on the driveway. It's a large gash on his knee and he looked up at me watching him and tried to hold up his leg to me.

"It's my owie, Mama. Kiss it."

So I leaned over to give his knee a kiss but I got his leg instead.

"It's right there, Mama. Try again." As he points to his knee.

Oh man. I laughed so hard. "Try again."

Have I said how much I love this talking stage (most of the time)?

Not ready yet

The other day I put Noah back in "underpants" and he was loving it. We kept reminding him "Make sure you tell Mommy or Daddy if you have to go pee or poo so you can sit on the potty."
At one point he was wearing his pajama top, underpants, his rubber boots and a mask with a feather on it. I wish I had taken a picture. It was pretty awesome.

He did well but didn't actually go pee or poo. Until he had a fit about something (I forget) and melted down. Seconds later he came up to me and said,

"My pants are wet, Mommy."

Oh. Yeah. That would be the pee, buddy.

So clearly NOT ready for underpants yet. Oh well. We'll keep trying every time we sense interest.

Reminiscent

Lately I've been somewhat reminiscent of the past 8 months (and further?) with my boys. Looking at old pictures and videos of Jude & Noah make me gasp with how much they've grown.

Watching a video of Noah holding Jude in the first few days and lovingly patting him and then saying, "baby" melts my heart into a huge puddle on the floor. It just astounds me at how much Noah has grown and developed.

I mean, he's speaking in SENTENCES. He's asking me questions. He's observing, thinking and then commenting on his experiences. It's incredible! I love it. And honestly, it's hard for me to remember when he wasn't speaking like this.

I'm so thankful for pictures and videos that help me remember each stage and recognize the vast growth that has taken place in all our lives.

On another note...perhaps the intense language development in Noah is the reason for sleep disturbances in the past 6 months! (This is what you call an "Aha!" moment.)

Noah at 8 months

Jude at 8 months

Because they're just so darn cute!

2 boys on the couch from Vanessa Strickland on Vimeo.

As Noah says, "Your boys, Mama. Your boys."

*also take note of Jude's new adorable squinty-eyed face. It cracks me up every time!

Stepping Back...

Sigh.

So here goes...

On the weekend the hubs and I had a much-needed one-on-one chat at Second Cup while the kiddies were at my parent's house. We talked about us, about life and about what needed to change.

I was agreed upon by both of us that I spend far too much time on the internet. FAR too much time. So here's what I've come up with...

I will not go on the internet during the day when the boys are up and awake (currently one is in blanket time and one is napping so it's okay right now).

This blog is still very important to me so I will continue to update it.

HOWEVER, I am stepping back from Google Reader and checking all my blogs.
Sigh.

This is a big one for me, but hopefully it will lead me to seek out community face-to-face instead of face-to-screen. I enjoy staying updated on other people's lives, but really...my lack of reading others' blogs will go largely unnoticed by others and eventually by me. I will be forced to be proactive in staying updated with peoples' lives through email or phone calls or face to face meet ups.

I'm also stepping back from Twitter. This one can be really addictive, but it's silly, really. So I'm stepping away for now. Indefinitely.

I will still be on Facebook, but there's only so much that I do there, so it shouldn't take up as much time.

We discussed a lot more including health and exercise, time with the Lord and in the Word as well as regular date nights.

I'm excited. Spring does that to ya.

And this way I may actually be able to start being more creative!

I hope and pray this helps me to be a healthier, happier, more loving wife and mother and daughter of the King!

So farewell my bloggy & Twitter friends ... don't worry, it's not you. It's me. Really.

Good Friday Meditation

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

But God,

being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:1-10

Think Time...

The other night (aside from Jude rejecting his crib/room for the third night in a row) Noah woke up at around 11pm and cried for awhile. So I went in and sat with him - I said I would stay until he fell asleep but 40 minutes later with my left leg completely asleep and Noah standing up in his crib peering down at me in the dark I realized it wasn't happening. So I left. And he was quiet for a little while but then cried again about 20 minutes later.

We eventually hung out in our bed until 2:30ish and then all fell asleep in our respective beds.

But all that to say, I had 40 minutes of quiet, uninterrupted think time while sitting with Noah.

I don't often get think time. So much so that after I came back to bed with Jamie and words started pouring out of my mouth of all that I had been thinking about, Jamie remarked this very thing to me.

It's true.

But one of the things I thought about was creativity.

I know it's a bit late for New Years' Resolutions, but if I had to make a goal, I'd say that I want 2010 to be all about creativity for me.

Here's how that breaks down for me:

1. In the kitchen.

I want to be more creative with my cooking.

I want to try using ingredients that I've never used before (like bulgar wheat).

I want to discover new food loves (maybe even ones that don't include sugar...?).

I would like to try fancier desserts and work on my cupcake skills...

2. In my leisure time.

By the end of 2010 I want to be proficient and confident at using MY sewing machine. I want to know how to fix minor issues and be able to use at least a handful of the settings on it.

I'd love to be able to sew basic things like pillows, simple clothing patterns, and even make some kids toys/baby accessories.

I'd also like to get out with my camera and even though my favourite subjects are my boys, it'd be nice every now and then to capture the world around me.

3. In my health.

This does tie into cooking, but also by trying new exercise classes, videos and other ideas for staying (read: getting) in shape and keeping healthy.

I would LOVE to get back into softball/baseball some day and maybe this year could be a year of betting the old glove and ball out and playing some catch with Jamie (and entertain the boys all at the same time).

I want to have more of a creative outlet in my life. I was made with this creative 'itch' and I think it's about time that I scratch it.