Noah's 6th

Dear Noah,

You are 6 years old. Six! You are funny and smart and tender-hearted and likeable and curious and feisty and I love you more than I really could ever express.

This year has not been easy but it's been oh-so-amazing. I've watched you conquer fears, experience transition, become a big brother for the second time, move back to Canada and start school for the first time. You're learning to read and do math. You're making friends and it does my Mama-heart so good to hear friends calling after you. You are loved and it seems obvious to me why. You are kind-hearted. You care for others and that draws people to you.

You like being silly. Whether it's having a dance party or making up jokes, you love it. You can dance with the best of them and both your brothers look to you for the best moves.

And as for being a big brother - you are totally rocking that role. Seriously, kiddo. You are such a fantastic big brother. I always wanted a big brother and you're exactly the kind I would have wanted. You are funny and sweet and helpful and loving. You selflessly give up the toy or food or position you wanted for Jude or Blaise. You're not perfect and you definitely have the skill of knowing just the right buttons to push on Jude {and in a quiet, subtle way a-la-classic-eldest-child} but I have seen you time and time again give up what you wanted - whether it's out of the kindness of your heart or because you really don't want to have to deal with Jude throwing a tantrum, you still do it.

And I love you for that.

You and I have butt heads on more than one occasion. You are strong. And stubborn. You can thank me for that some day.

But I trust and pray that your strength will not blind you to your need for Jesus. That you aren't meant to struggle through this life on your own strength, but that Jesus came for you. To walk with you through this life. That you need him and that He loves you so incredibly much. He made you, He cares for you and He's going to use you. You just have to let him.

I am so proud and honoured and blessed to be your Mama. You have taught me more in these last 6 years than I could have ever imagined and I can't wait to see where the next 6 years take us both!

I love you,
Mama

wednesday morning prayers

I hear foot steps and my door open ever so slightly.
"Mom?"
It's Jude. It's also 6:30am.
"Yes, Jude?"
"Where's Daddy?"
"He's in Halifax."
"Oh. Right."
"Go back to sleep. It's too early."
"But I see a bit of light. It doesn't seem too early to me..."
He wanders back into his room and shortly I after I hear quiet voices and their door shutting. I guess he woke up Noah. They play quietly for a bit.
The play gets louder and wakes up Blaise in the next room. He quiets for a bit and I lay in bed for just a few more minutes.
I check the weather {I have to get back into that habit.} and roll out of bed to go nurse Blaise. {He only woke up ONCE last night!} He's a happy guy and my alarm goes off in my room while I'm in the room with Blaise.
The boys come out of their room and I encourage them to get dressed before going downstairs.
They do.

It's smoothies and toast {and yogurt and cereal for Noah as well} and then the boys brush their teeth.
Jude is bugging to go to school {right.now.} and so I put their lunches in their bags, pack in a rain poncho for this afternoon's forecasted showers and after a bit of playing, they pose on the front steps for a picture for Jude's first day.

How handsome are they?!

We're leaving with plenty of time so I don't feel rushed. Which is nice.
At the school we walk around to Noah's side. We stand there for a minute or two and then give hugs and kisses goodbye so I can drop off Jude at his entrance.
I look back and see Noah standing by himself and it makes my heart hurt a little. I tell myself, he'll be fine.
I'm getting a bit emotional about sending Jude to school today for some reason. He's so little. It's such a long day. How will he do? Will he listen to the teacher and make friends? Will he be able to finish his lunch? {Probably not.}
We walk into the enclosed area and he looks at me with a smile and says, "PLAY?!?" so I nod and he takes off to the slides and climbers and then the bell goes and he comes right over and hops into a line. A helper asks him his name and then directs him to the other line for the other kindergarten teacher. I get a big hug from him and he hugs and kisses Blaise and then chats away to his teacher telling her about his backpack and his Star Wars shirt. Then I look to my side and see Noah standing there with teary eyes.
My heart sinks.

The teacher starts walking in with Jude's class and he happily trots in line behind the other kids. What a trooper.

I turn to walk away with Noah and begin what I've been dreading this entire time leading up to school's start.
We walk into the school all the while with Noah very tearfully and stubbornly telling me he's not going to school and not going to his class and he's staying with me the whole day.
I tell him he is going to school and that he's strong and amazing and he's going to have so much fun and learn new things today. I tell him that Jesus is with him and Noah tearfully says that he can't see Jesus. He can see me and so he wants to be with me. {sob} I try to get to the bottom of why he doesn't want to go but I think it's because I wasn't there to see him into school like I have been since the beginning since I was with Jude. It's also a long day. Every day. And the transition is finally catching up to him.

My heart hurts as I leave him screaming and crying for me with the teacher.
I walk quickly with tears streaming and head back to the car with Blaise {thankful that I chose to put him in the stroller this morning and not carry him like I usually do}.

So it's not even noon and I'm not sure how he's doing. I hope he's doing well. I hope the teacher was able to get a handle on things. I felt bad for her. The little boy in Noah's class who has special needs was also having a rough morning and I didn't see any EA to help her so she was trying to deal with Noah and the other boy.

Jesus please be with Noah and Jude this morning. Send people to love them and protect them. Give them courage and strength and joy today. Remind them of your goodness. Remind me of your goodness. 

**it's 10:57am and I just got a call from his teacher. He settled down within a couple minutes of me leaving. She was so understanding and supportive and I am doing a little happy cry and fist pumping for such an awesome teacher.
Also found out that there is an EA that will be able to help her so that is great for her, for the kids in the class and for that little boy who I hope and pray Noah will get to know and love this year.
Thanks you Jesus!

school-aged

How cute is he?

So. After my emotionally thick post on the first day of school, I thought I'd follow it up with how our first week went.

So I picked Noah up from school the first day. No tears (from him - I did get a bit misty, though) and got a big smile. He did declare, though, that he wouldn't be going back to school the next day. Not emotionally. Just calmly and matter of factly. We talked about his day and I would bring up highlights as he mentioned them.

Oh! You got to finger paint? That's so fun!

Wow! You got Goldfish crackers from your teacher? Did they taste the same or different from the ones Mommy gave you?

A nature hunt? That must have been a lot of fun! What kinds of things did you find?

And each day since, he's calmly declared that he will definitely not be going to school tomorrow. And each day we talk about what he's done during the day. The fun parts and the hard parts.
I think he's doing well, though. He says he's made some friends but doesn't remember any of their names. Classic.
He's got to play with his friend from our town house complex twice who is in grade two so that seems to be a highlight for him.

It still makes my heart ache a bit when I drop him off and watch him trying to politely get through the door with the swarming mass of kids around him. It's a lot all at once. And he's doing really well.

Funny exerpts from him:

Mom, every morning in the hallway I hear a kid crying.

I looked for my hat but I couldn't find it.  (It was exactly where he had left it with me. On the shelf above his backpack.)

We have to sit "criss-cross applesauce". 

Mom? Why can't we have gum at school?

We went to the library, but not really in it. The lady who stays in there said it would be a long time for us to take books out.

I like recess. Wait, no. I don't like it. Well, yes and no. I like the long recess, but not the short recess.

And in other news, he's been holding the door for me all the time. I think his school is big on instilling respect and consideration of others. I love it! (And Jude and him even fought to hold the door open for each other. "No after you!" "No after YOU!" Hilarious.)

thoughts from a sentimental Mama

To every parent who cried dropping their baby (because they're still our babies, right?) off at school for the first time:

I get it.

I'm not a super sappy or sentimental person, but I am a wreck. I am crying and reminiscing and trying to keep it together for the sake of my other kiddos.

We dropped Noah off this morning at school. Grade one. All day. Every day. I was doing okay until I watched him find a seat at a small desk in a small chair across from a couple other boys. I smiled and waved at him and he waved back and I walked away and lost it.

He was so excited and brave and when we walked into the school (was I really the only parent to accompany their kid? Or did I just break some unspoken rule?) he was a bit unsure and wanted me to come with him to pick out a hook to hang his backpack on. Only a pair of shoes, a lunch box and a pencil case and that backpack was heavy. He's so little.

How is it that I remember his birth so clearly? How is it that I'm a Mom to a little boy in grade one? How did that happen?

I wish I could be a fly on the wall in his classroom.
What is he learning? Who is he meeting? Is he loving every minute of it? Is he regretting coming in the first place? Will he know how to find the bathroom and lunch room?

Dear Jesus, please be with my boy. Guard him. Lead him to the friends that will encourage and uplift him. Help him make good choices. 

Did I do enough to prepare him? I feel so unprepared myself.

Last night we did a special dinner together. And by "special" I mean we used a table cloth and had cloth napkins and ate tacos.

It was loud and we ate quickly. Jamie prayed for Noah and we talked about standing up for what's right and being true to ourselves. And then it was all over.

This morning we had Timbits and smoothies and pancakes and applesauce (because apparently we have no fruit in the house. Whoops.) and we prayed again for Noah and I read him Joshua 1:9.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged. For the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. 

I have been continually praying and releasing my children into God's hands. Surrendering them over and over again. Praying for their teachers and friends.

This parenting gig isn't for the weak of heart.

Mine is getting an overhaul as I type this.

I love you, Noah. I'm so proud of you.

Stay sweet. Have fun. Be a light.

on staying tenderhearted

To my oldest child, my firstborn son, Noah,

I wanted to write this down so I don't forget.

Please stay tenderhearted. Don't let this world crush you and make you cynical. Don't be overcome by your disappointment and anger when you don't get your way.

You are so sweet. And you love your brothers. So very much. I pray it only strengthens as the years go by.

The other day you walked into my room with a bit of an attitude. And then you saw that Blaise was awake and playing and you went right over and started talking your baby talk and letting him claw your face and grab your fingers. You absolutely adore your baby brother. And the feeling is most definitely mutual.

Later in the evening when Jude was running laps up and down the hill as a form of his discipline for being too rough {for the millionth time} with Blaise, you decided you would join Jude, even though you weren't being disciplined. You did it together with Jude and I melted a little {okay, a lot} at your compassion for your brothers.

I pray that God keeps your heart soft and tender and compassionate toward others.
Two thousand years ago, love changed the world. I pray that one day you will know that love and let Him change you and teach you how to love above and beyond your natural inclinations. Because He's created you fearfully and wonderfully. Know that. Believe that.

I love you fiercely,

Mama.

three on the fifth - oops

I take pictures of my boys on the third of each month. You can view past months here.

It seems like just yesterday {that's so cliche, isn't it?} that I started taking pictures of my boys on the second. And so we begin a new year and I'm off to a fabulous start by posting this two days after the third. Oh well. I'm really going to try to not forget February's picture like I did last year and that will make up for it. Right?
And now we're on the third with another Wild Thing to add to our family.
Check out how much my boys have grown with last year's picture! Amazing.

We let the boys watch cartoons all morning. It's Saturday. And ... a certain pair of grown ups did not go to bed early enough. So they were tired.

We had leftover pizza for lunch. It's also on the menu for dinner today. 

Apparently this is how we smile in our family. Seconds after this, Blaise spit up.  

And breaking news, Blaise likes watching Baby Einstein. This could be revolutionary for fussy periods. {Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.}

Happy Weekend!

a gobblety goop of things

it's been a good week. but it hasn't been an easy week.

we're currently experimenting with not swaddling blaise for his naps. he sleeps no better, but no worse. we'll see how it goes.

blaise got his 2 month immunizations on tuesday. he's been a bit irritable during the days. thankfully still sleeping really well at night.
i'm tired. and most days i feel like i fail more than i succeed. but there's grace. and strength.
i'm feeling a bit lonely and missing face-to-face conversations with people who know me and love me and understand me. but there's grace. and strength.

i had a bit of an ache in my heart the other day as we drove the streets of kampala. i was thinking about how i'll miss living here when we leave. i'm very much excited for the day we return to canada, but right now? kampala is home for us. and there are many things i'll miss about living here. {noah remarked to me almost seconds after i thought this that he is glad we're moving back to canada because the streets are bigger and don't have pot holes. yeah. that'll be nice.}

i crocheted a scarf. it's incredibly soft and thick. and warm. much too warm for here. but i'm saving it for when we go to spain in january.
you can find the pattern here.

i haven't exercised all week {tired much?} and i've been scarfing down chocolate. holding crying babies makes me crave chocolate.

jamie challenged me/us to watch all our christmas movies this year. we figured out that we have 22. so far we've watched five.

our tree is up. the stockings are hung. we're listening to christmas music. and i'm loving watching the boys act out the christmas story with their little people nativity set. the other day i heard noah yelling at jude: LET US IN! WE NEED A ROOM!!! LET US IN OR I'LL PUNCH YOU!
i looked over and found that he was holding mary and joseph and jude was holding one of the wise men. i think maybe he was supposed to be the innkeeper. i'm not quite sure that's how it all went down, but i like jospeh's protective and assertiveness.

a wasp flew into our living room the other day. as it was flying around, it got stuck in a spider's web. i have never seen a daddy long legs {or whatever this african equivalent is called} move so quickly! seriously. the spider was on that wasp so fast. but the wasp got free and we eventually "swooshed" it outside again.

i would like to sleep for the entire weekend. but that's not going to happen.
there are so many good things in my life. but life is not always easy. no matter your stage in life or where you live.
wishing you a wonderful weekend! {and a happy thanksgiving to all my american friends and readers!}

five years old

in five years you can get a university degree and start your first year of work.

in five years i started dating jamie, we got engaged and then got married.

in five years i gave birth to 3 children and am now a mommy to three handsome little boys.

one is not so little.

noah peter strickland was born five years ago today. it hasn't always been easy and most some days i feel like i'm not doing so great in this whole motherhood gig, but at the end of each day i still get hugs and kisses from my biggest boy.

my noah. he loves sweet treats and all things dairy {strawberry milk, strawberry yogurt, cheese, ice cream...}. he is extremely ticklish and loves to wrestle with daddy. he can write all his letters and he even wrote out a birthday card for me this year!
he has a helpful heart and is tender and sweet towards blaise. he is patient with jude {most of the time} and always eager to pretend that they are "super secret spies".

he's got a fiery temper and can slam a door louder than you'd think was possible and struggles not to get angry when he gets let down. {but who doesn't, i guess?}

he is shy at first and likes to observe new people, places and activities before participating and engaging with others. 

he loves playing on the iPad {angry birds!} and watching Tom & Jerry cartoons and has recognized the hilarity in slapstick humour. i love watching him laugh while watching cartoons.

he has a "thing" for hands and feet and will gladly hold your hand if you put it out for him to grab. i often find him playing with blaise's hands or feet and if he's sitting beside jude on the couch, i can almost guarantee that he is playing with jude's fingers or feet {ew!}.

he is five. i think every age must have its pros and cons. i have loved watching the growth in noah's comprehension, his writing and his drawings. i love that he plays with legos and builds boats and airplanes, houses and monsters. i love his imagination and his sensitive spirit. i love that he pays attention to rules and loves order and predictability {classic firstborn, methinks}.

noah, i've said it before and i'll say it again; you made me a mama. i love you and i'm thankful for you and i can't imagine our family without you.

love,
mom {mama, mommy}

5 things i've learned since becoming a mom: trust your instinct

part three in a five part series of things i've learned since becoming a mom 5 years ago.
you can read part one here and part two here.


the panic and anxiety inside me was building up. i felt sweaty and a bit frantic. i ripped into the last few remaining presents with gusto while pasting an attempt at a calm smile on my face.

it's okay. he's fine. i'll go get him in just a second. i don't want to keep you all here any longer.

i could hear noah's cries start to get more and more frenzied and my heart beat just a little bit faster. my palms were sweaty. finally at their urging i got up from my present-opening and went and got my baby from the upstairs and after a quick feed and an attempt at calming both of us down, i came back out to the baby shower. my baby shower.
this was supposed to be happy and joyous and exciting. all these women were here to celebrate the birth of my first child. so then why did i feel like curling up in a ball and crying for hours?
after the last of the women left i did go back upstairs into my parents' bedroom and cry and cry.

so i had post partum depression after noah was born. the mad torrent of emotions and hormones swirling around inside of me combined with unrealistic expectations and a head full of knowledge of how things should be {plus the sleep deprivation of having a newborn} led to me feeling confused, desperate and unhappy.

i am a knowledge specialist by nature. that is to say, when i'm interested in something i will google the heck out of it, borrow books from friends, the library and ask anyone and everyone who will answer me on that subject. i did this when i was pregnant with noah. i read about pregnancy, breastfeeding and parenting philosophies. i think there is a value to gaining insight and looking into things you're not sure about, but in this case i forgot one major part of parenting;

trust your instinct.

i forgot to trust my natural gut feeling as a new mother. i just read the books and thought everything would fall into place accordingly. so when things didn't turn out and i had a screaming baby and my hormones were screaming just as loudly i fell apart. 
after about 3 months of feeling antisocial and unhappy and constantly on edge and worrying about if the baby would start crying again, the clouds lifted and my hormones leveled out somewhat. i decided to implement a routine and things started to become more manageable.

but when noah turned 6 months, we were on a plane to tanzania, africa for two months. this was a huge step of faith for me, but it turned out to be one of the most valuable parenting experiences for me. internet wasn't readily available. i didn't have my friends with me to ask my questions. all i had was me. so i learned to trust my instinct. i learned not to be so rigid in my expectations. i learned the value in having a routine, but not being a schedule-nazi and that diverting from our usual routine every now and then wasn't the end of the world. 
i learned to trust that i was a good mother for noah and that i could trust my instinct to hold him or to let him cry, to keep him up or breastfeed him to sleep. 

noah on safari in tanzania

me on the carrick-a-rede rope bridge in northern ireland with noah. this thing freaked me out. 

as noah has grown and i've had two other babies since then, i've been a lot more easy-going {like i thought i would be from the very beginning!} and i've really learned to just go with the flow. i've listened to my gut on things like whether or not we needed to take noah to the hospital for a dislocated elbow {before we knew what it was, of course}. i've trusted my instinct on delaying potty training, giving up on cloth diapering and moving our family to uganda. 
there are countless stories from other moms who have regretted not trusting their instinct about different things concerning their child's development. there are also countless stories about moms who have trusted their instinct and pushed for answers and were right despite others telling them nothing was wrong. 

my approach now to things is to use a combination of books and resources {including friends and other people} but to think about how their advice/recommendation fits with my child, my children and/or my family. if it's not working for our family as a whole, it's likely not going to work or last for very long.

so if you're a new mom, don't forget to put that book down every now and then and trust what feels right for you and your family. you are the best mom for your child and whether you choose breast or bottle, CIO or co-sleeping, to wait it out with baby tylenol or a trip to the hospital, don't forget to trust your instinct. it's God-given and it's unique to you and your child. 

i think if i could go back and tell PPD vanessa anything, it would be this, from 2 timothy 1:7,

"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

as someone who loves Jesus, i know that i have his spirit within me and i can trust that He is guiding me and will give me wisdom in all situations - including parenting!

*as a side note, if you are struggling with PPD, please talk to someone and get some help. it doesn't always clear on its own and feeling unhappy and depressed and desperate isn't normal. here are a few resources to get you started. Post-Partum Support International, PPD/PPA resources

5 things i've learned since becoming a mom: hold on

in honour of my oldest "baby" turning 5 next week {what?! how did that even happen?}, i was inspired to write about 5 things i've learned since becoming a mom.

hold on

i don't mean that we as parents should hold on in an unhealthy way. i mean hold onto those moments. those fleeting moments that may be your last with them because they've moved on to the next development. breathe in that newborn smell and close your eyes. soak it up. feel the softness of their skin, the pinkness of their feet. cherish the way your toddler wants you and only you for comfort. listen to the stories your 4 year old tells you with such imagination and attention to detail. one day they might not be as forthcoming with their thoughts and stories. hold onto those moments. hold their hands. they might not {and probably won't} want you to hold their hands forever.

blaise gets some "daddy time".

as a first time mom i was really just focusing on surviving those first few months. i had a mild case of post-partum depression and i was in a dark place. i was anxious and paranoid. it was difficult for me to hold onto those moments and yet somehow my memory of noah as a baby is far more vivid than of jude as a baby and probably than my memories of blaise as a baby will be. i'm not sure why that is {although it probably has something to do with not having two older boys to keep busy and take care of}, but i do know that i spent lots of time holding him, rocking him, crying while nursing in the middle of the night {again} and stressing over every little thing. he was my world and i focused nearly all my energies on "keeping him alive" and relishing in his every new development. this is why i smile when i see first time mom's post tons of pictures of their baby's first *insert any "first" that a baby can have* or a 10 minute video waiting for their baby to roll over. they are "holding on" to those moments and they want the world to know about this marvelous new development with "the cutest baby in the world". {because every parent thinks their child is the cutest.}

cuddles with a sick noah

as a third-time mom i am well aware of the fact that this time is precious and will fly by far more quickly than i am prepared for - and not just with blaise, but with my older two boys as well. i will not always have a three and {almost} five year old. jude will not always say "yup" in that quiet, cute way. noah will not always want or need me to read him stories. blaise is growing faster than i thought was possible.

more cuddles with a sick jude

yes, it's hard. yes, it sometimes sucks. yes, it's incredibly sanctifying to be a mother and a parent. there's nothing like a little mirror to show you all the ugliness you never knew you had in you.
God knows that i fail at this every.single.day. but regardless, it's something i've learned and continue to learn.
so hold onto your babies while they are still young. they will never want or need you like they have you now so hold onto it and remind yourself of this every.single.day. on the days when i don't remember what's really important at this stage, it's all-too-easy to get resentful for my lack of "me" time, or the way they always need me or want to tell me something or show me something and want me to play with them or read them a book. it's crazy how quickly i become self-centered when this time is so limited and my children are so precious. what is honestly more important that pouring into my children, spending time with them and teaching them? i can't think of a single thing.

and so in five years as a mama, i've learned the importance of holding on.

photo dump thursday

my parents got into town on sunday night.
it's been lovely for all of us.
i've been recovering from a brutal head cold that my older two boys passed onto me {thankyouverymuch} in between breastfeeding {a lot! my little chunker now weighs 11lbs 13oz!} and making thanksgiving dinner {and now i've making pumpkin everything with all my leftover pumpkin puree!} and enjoying the company of my parents, my kids and jamie.

blogging is not a high priority at this point, but i've been taking some pictures so i don't forget everything in approximately 59 days.
enjoy...

milk drunk smiles

playing outside in the sandbox

gramma holding her youngest grandson

everyone's got their own entertainment

a sneak peek at a quick photo shoot i did with blaise and a vintage suitcase {thanks, kelly for the suitcase!}

{three}

i have three boys! amazing.
we're still figuring out our routine but it's been nice to have jamie around and my parents arrive on sunday night.

noah is really into sonic the hedgehog racing on jamie's iPad and likes to make up stories about sonic. he also really enjoys listening to audiobooks during his quiet time. it's hilarious when he comes up to me and asks about different words or phrases that he's picked up on like, "mom? what does it mean to have a cheese that drags you around the house by your nose?" then it makes me wonder which story he got that from!

jude continues to make us laugh with his funny voices and hilarious antics. he insists on calling "Monopoly" "buh-mopowee" which i love. jamie wondered to me the other day, "i wonder what jude's voice really sounds like. he's either making up a funny voice or shouting Dora the Explorer style." it's so true.

and blaise is adorable. he's also started spitting up as the picture above shows. he spat up as i was walking him over to the blanket for this picture. oh well. c'est la vie. he's doing really well during the nighttime and last night he went almost 4 hours between feedings. pure bliss. he's conked out on my chest right now. he's a cuddler for sure. {and i love it.}

{and one more picture of blaise. cuz he's the new kid around here.}

linking up to steph who takes pictures of her 4  kids on the 4th of every month.

boy-mama

for some reason, this captured moment makes it seem so much more real. i'm a mama to 3 boys! amazing.

power's out friday links

so here we are. tomorrow i'm 41 weeks. pregnant. still.

the days go by and there are no new signs that i am any closer to having this baby. my belly gets bigger. my stretch marks get more noticeable. my sleep deteriorates. i walked up and down our ginormous hill in our compound 10 times this morning in some sort of ridiculous effort to both get out of the house and do a bit of walking which everyone here asks if i am doing.
we get at least one phone call every day asking if i've had the baby from local staff here. apparently they are all getting anxious. sigh. i'm not sure if women here have "due dates" or what, but perhaps they shouldn't have been told mine. i wouldn't doubt now if this baby comes later than jude did {41 weeks exactly}. apparently my body likes to hold onto babies longer each time. what's up with that?
i'm ranting.
i don't care.

the boys are happily playing with jude's duplo set that i just gave back to them. {i had taken it away after jude refused to clean it up the last time. this happens somewhat frequently around here. especially with lego/duplo.}
i feel a bit queasy after polishing off the last bit of eggless cookie dough i made earlier this week. stinkin' pregnancy cravings.

my budding photographer, noah took this the other day. i was impressed.

alright already. friday links! here they are!

i thought this was a cool link. make your food taste awesome. go ahead, do it!

if you like languages, you might find this interesting. just a list that shows how the english language falls short - specifically in communicating emotions.

straight up - this is for parents or anyone who interacts with kids on a regular basis. good tools to have when talking to and with children and expecting them to listen to you!

such a cute DIY and i think one that would be especially delightful in these coming cool, fall evenings {for everyone in my home and native land - and those that neighbour it. :)}

ever feel like listening to every song u2 has ever sung? or maybe jay-z is more your style. no? well, anyway whatever your preference is, you should check this site out.

i need to re-read this. on keeping your soul refreshed as a mother.

and so, it's now friday evening. the kids are ambushing nick, we've just finished a delicious pepperoni pizza and i had a delightful half glass of chardonnay {shhhh!}.
enjoy your weekend!

threats and "the game"

threats. they seem to be quite popular in our family these days. and i'm not just talking about coming from the parental units. noah tends to threaten us to "get his way" {which he definitely doesn't when he uses threats, letmetellYOU!}.

if you don't let me have the iPad, i'm going to be really angry and throw this chair.

now we've started cutting him off if he even begins a sentence with a scowl and the words, "if you don't..." by saying, "i'm sorry, noah, but that's not how we talk to each other in this family."
he doesn't like it, and it often makes him angrier {usually}, but it's completely unacceptable to us. so no. we don't threaten.
jude has picked up on the "threat language" and uses it from time to time but our reaction is the same as well.

but jude's game with us is the yes/no game. it often happens around bedtime.
it usually goes a little something like this;

good night, jude. *lean in for a goodnight kiss*

NO KISS! NO HUG! NO!

okay, that's fine.  and we walk away.

seconds later,

I WANT A KISS! I WANT A HUG!

so we lean in to give him a kiss and get,

NO KISS! NO HUG!

so we walk away. and he demands a kiss and and hug again.

once we realized what he was doing, we decided to take him at his first word. i walk away and say good night the first time he rejects it, despite the fact that he wails and screams. and the first few times he obviously lasted longer although he does less so now. oftentimes i'll just move in for a kiss and give him lots of kisses all over his squirmy self as he giggles, but it doesn't mean that he is satisfied. he'll often still demand that he gets to give me a kiss but then falls back into "the game". at least when i walk away, i've still given him kisses. he'll just have to learn to mean what he says. he'll get it. eventually.

the same thing goes for mealtimes. he'll say he's done and get down from the table so i take away his plate and he freaks out at me saying that he wasn't done and he still wants to eat.
he knows now that if he gets down from the table, he's done. plate goes away. that's it.
he still freaks out, but at least we all know where we stand on these issues.

it's still incredibly frustrating and i despise the tantrums that follow, but after reading through this blog, i remembered that we had a rough time with noah when he turned three as well. the three's are rough around here. we just have to suck it up, stick to our word and move forward.

we have our daily {hourly} struggles around here. parenting is by no means easy with these two fantastically smart and spunky boys. just the other day i {temporarily} took away their screen time tickets for the rest of the day due to poor attitudes and meltdowns right after each of them using a ticket. i find i am far more grace-filled but i also find i am praying a lot more for patience and lowered blood pressure because these boys certainly know how to make my blood boil!

creative can be easy

on friday i posted the friday links and then ended by saying that me and the boys were going to bake some chocolate chip cookies.
they had so much fun holding the hand mixer and dumping in the chocolate chips. but then when the dough was ready, i didn't feel like scooping out each individual cookie so i asked the boys if they had ever had a cookie pizza and if they wanted to make one with me.

of course they did!
all i did was spread the dough onto our round pizza pan and throw it in the oven for the amount of time it took for me to blow-dry my hair {15 minutes? it was still pretty wet.}, pulled it out and muah! perfection. and so much easier and less time-consuming than doing several sheets of cookies.
the boys loved it and were so excited when it was done that they insisted on having a cookie party and surprising jamie up in his office {he's moved his desk up to the "party house" now that we've re-arranged furniture for baby B}. we each took a plate up and gobbled up our pizza slices of cookie.
delicious!

sometimes thinking out of the box and being a little creative takes less work than doing things the old-fashioned way.

what's something creative you've done lately that's been easier than your usual way of doing things?

friday links

yesterday both my boys agreed to let me cut their hair. noah sat like a champ but jude screamed as if i was committing some sort of horrible torture on him. i still have to fix up parts on both their hair, but for now? it works.

for some reason, when i buzz noah's hair {yes, it's meant to be a subtle mohawk}, i think he looks younger. afterward i sat back and said that now he reminded me of "baby" noah {what i meant was toddler noah}.
but jude just doesn't quite look the same to me anymore. i miss his hair already. thankfully {unfortunately?} both boys' hair grows like crazy and they'll both have mop heads before i know it!

here are some friday links!

for all you crafty-types, this seems like a fairly simple DIY. i think even i could sew it! and so handy for traveling with your flat iron!

and these. i am making these. especially with the amazing vanilla beans we get here - and for so cheap! i've missed vanilla coke and this is my opportunity to relive those memories.

this is a sweet reminder for me as i re-enter the season of mothering a newborn.

and i am drooling. and also making these. and i might eat half the pan.

how fun is this site? i like to just keep entering different bands just to see what drink will come up.

and now i'm going to down a couple Tums to counteract this wonderful heartburn. ha!
happy weekend to all of you!

on being chatty and brotherly bonding

today during noah's quiet time i lay down on the bed. he was in the living room playing with his legos.

eventually he came and joined me and jamie in our bedroom {where he usually has his quiet time}. 

he had lots to say.

usually i tell him it's a time to be on our own and not talking, but today i just listened and talked with him {while i played solitaire on jamie's iPad}. 

i don't even remember what we talked about anymore, but lots of it was observations and thoughts and comments about books and movies that he likes. 

he left the room at one point {to go to the bathroom} and i commented to jamie that one day he might not want to talk to me. actually, i think i said that one day he probably wouldn't want to talk to me. 

his comments and thoughts kept up throughout the day with the occasional sassy mouth {something we're working on}. i am loving the general openness of noah with me and jamie and his thoughts and creative ideas. he has a "drawing book" that he likes to draw things in during his quiet times and i'll need to post some more of his drawings on his blog because they really are adorable and funny.

after an early dinner {because i was going crazy from both him and jude complaining that they were hungry, hungry, hungry} we were all hanging out in the living room and baby B was kicking and moving up a storm! i called the boys over and lifted up my shirt to reveal my belly. noah was quite amazed at his movements;

he's punching you right there!

whoa! he's moving so much! 

and it was one of the first times the boys really saw and felt his movements. up until now they really haven't had the patience or interest {boldness, maybe} to feel my belly and wait for a movement, but tonight he was really active so it was a perfect moment for the boys to really understand that there's a person inside of me.

they both took turns trying to "listen" to what baby B was doing and saying hi to him and telling him their names. 

the other day noah and jude were with me and jude asked how baby B got inside me. i hesitated for a moment.

is this the beginning of "the talk"?

i explained that mommy & daddy decided we wanted to make a baby and then God is the one who makes baby B grow nice and big and strong inside of me.

noah looked confused.

so does how does God reach inside of you?

i told him that i didn't really know how exactly God makes human beings {or anything really!} but that He's able to make people and that He's the only one who can do that.

this set the boys off on talking about how big and strong God is. 

oh my boys. i love you so. i can't wait to add another little man to our fun and crazy family.

home

daddy's home!

the miracle of learning

it's amazing to watch your child learn a new skill.
this past year if we were in canada, noah would have been {probably} in junior kindergarten at a public school. he'd probably have learnt how to count higher than he can now, more social skills and possibly how to read small words. however, since we were moving to uganda, i decided to take on homeschooling. i figured, it's just j/k. how hard can it be?
we've been pretty lax this year. reading lots. doing crafts. playing games. noah really likes starfall, a website that teaches letters and sounds and then moves on to reading and it's all quite interactive. mostly we've just been enjoying life together and learning about day to day stuff like dressing yourself {he now completely dresses and undresses himself every morning and night! which also brings us to the dilemma of multiple outfit changes a day}, making the bed, folding laundry and helping with kitchen duties like setting the table and cooking & baking. i was amazed the other day when noah helped me fold all his own clothes - from shirts and socks to underwear and shorts!
sometimes jamie and i have worried that perhaps i'm not structured or organized enough with his curriculum {which is...not really a curriculum at all, to be honest} and when the evil monster called Comparison pops up and we see what our friends' kids are learning or can do we think, uh oh. maybe he's behind. even though i know he's a smart kid who picks up on things quite quickly.
and then it happens.
he starts to see words and recognize them.
and he's now asking how to spell certain words so we sound them out and he just writes it down. usually just remembering the letters from his head.

this is his "STOP" sign that he wrote on his own and then asked how to spell "STOP". i was so impressed that he figured out the 'O', 'T', and 'P' all on his own.

this is noah's "zoo" that we sounded out together. {animals include a sloth, a wooly mammoth, an elephant and a giraffe}

later on noah asked to spell out the word "wild" and eventually gave up {after writing two "M"s} but i'm encouraged with his interest in words and spelling and amazed that it really does just happen. 

my question for you is, do you correct your child flipping a letter/word around {like in noah's "zoo", the "z" is flipped and looks like an "s"} or do you wait until later when s/he is more confident with writing? when and how does correction fit into learning? is it dependent on your child's temperament {easy going or highly sensitive, etc.} or is there a general rule of thumb that should be followed?

for me i've just encouraged noah and at this point i'm not worrying about him flipping his letters around. i'll probably write out words for him to see and continue to show him, rather than tell him how to write the letters properly.