Blaise's 2 year letter

Oh my dear, sweet, Blaise.

My baby. How is it that you are two years old? No longer technically a baby, yet I still call you "baby" all the time. When will that stop? Not in the foreseeable future. When you are 14 years old I may still call you baby and it will embarrass the heck out of you. But I hope deep down, you will feel loved and secretly love that I call you baby.

Anyway.

You are two. Loving trains, planes and automobiles. For real. All things that move, you love. You shout out "bus" or "car" or "truck" or "airplane!" or whatever it is that's passing by. Your Dad gets a kick out of the way you say "truck" as you've replaced the "tr" with an "f". So that's always good for a laugh. Sometimes you mutter it to yourself and I can't help but let a giggle come out.

You love your soother (soosee) and your two hippos and now you even sleep with a pillow and a blanket and it's pretty much the cutest thing ever.

You love being silly and making people smile and laugh and you love joining right in with any merriment you happen upon. Today you charmed your way through three different offices that we had to go to, making people smile and laugh and immediately relieving any boredom of having to sit in a small office with a bunch of strangers. You do this all the time.

You are becoming quite an independent player when the mood strikes you. I'll often find you lining up your cars along the middle bookshelf in our living room or sitting on the floor or couch with a book or two. And so far you don't seem to mind that your brothers are missing for most of the day now that school has started, but you do often talk about them or reference them when you see a school bus. 

And speaking of school buses, every morning when we take Noah and Jude to the bus stop, you shout at the top of your lungs, "BAH BYE!!!" over and over and over at the bus driver as soon as he pulls up and opens the doors. It's hilarious and adorable. As are most things you do. 

You are starting to venture out into eating more foods which is really just a lot more convenient. And usually means a little less screaming. (Also how is it that I've ended up with three kids who don't really like oatmeal? Weird. It's probably my own doing, but whatever.)

You sleep like a champ (Seriously. That was 18 months coming! Glory Hallelujah.) and prefer "Mama" to be the first one in to greet you, but you'll usually perk up for "Nono" (or Noah) to come and pick you up out of your crib. 

You are talking nonstop and I hear "who's that" or "what's that" or "what's this" or "who's this" about eleventy million times a day. It's adorable, albeit exhausting. (Not gonna lie.)

You are testing boundaries big time these days. Always looking at me after I say no or try and redirect you elsewhere. You will look at me like a dog does with a slight head tilt and then say, "Hm?" and point to what you want to do, often doing it even after I say "no". I am trying to crack down and hold firm, but often you are so hilarious, that it's hard for me not to smile or laugh at you - even when you're flat out disobeying me! Oh the joys of being the third born! (One day Noah will tell you, "Man! I didn't get away with HALF the stuff you do!" and he'll be completely right. Sorry, Noah.) 

I wish I could write down all the funny and hilarious and adorable things you do from the way you pick out a book and then walk backwards towards me and then sit in my lap. Or the way you press your cheek against mine and think it's hilarious. Or the way you often break into song and dance just to the music that plays in your own head. (I LOVE this!) You are crazy about your brothers, but often take advantage of any time they are lower than you, whether it's sitting or lying down, because you'll whack them on the head or face. But you love them. And they love you. Your relationship with Noah is so different from the one you have with Jude. I love the complexities and dynamics of each relationship and watching it all play out. I pray your relationships with your brothers will be strong and the kind that sharpens each other and challenges each other for the good, spurring one another on to love and good deeds. 

I love love love love love you, you crazy Blaiser. You melt my heart and keep me laughing. You keep us all laughing and can perk up even the grumpiest attitude in this house with your antics and I praise God for bringing you into our family on that hot evening in Kampala, two years ago. 

Love, 

Mama

Jude's 5 year letter

My darling Jude,

I'm sitting at my computer and typing this letter up to you. I haven't blogged in a million years (okay, a few months), and it's a few weeks past your birthday, but I'm doing it.
Ah Jude. Where to even begin!?

You are a plucky 5 year old. You are tender and can be sensitive, and then the next minute you're terrorizing Blaise. You do have a compassionate heart, though, and there have been multiple instances of you seeking out a new kid in your class (whether it's the YMCA or church) and playing with them, or offering them a toy or trying to cheer them up when they're upset and scared. This speaks volumes to me about who you are and that you are listening to God's still, small voice inside you urging you to show love and friendship to those who need it most. I love for this. Seriously. My heart almost explodes a little when I hear about these occurrences.

But there's a sassy mouth on you too. You love shouting, "FINE!" or "OKAY!" when things are neither fine, nor okay for you. It's hard for you to receive instruction or criticism, but I do see growth in you in this area.

You played on a soccer team for the first time this summer and you learned so much! We watched (and okay, we laughed too) from the sidelines as you would run up to the ball but only really hover around it and the other players instead of just going in and kicking it. This was a bit surprising for me as I wouldn't have thought you to be tentative, but by the end of the season you did end up going in for a kick or two.

You learned so much at school this past year too! Junior Kindergarten wasn't too difficult of a transition for you, but you did have some teary goodbyes in the mornings for a few weeks. Your teacher, Mrs. Fulton, was an absolute gem and we are so super excited that you'll get her again in a couple weeks for Senior Kindergarten! You learned tons of songs and loved gym and recess and you can even read a bunch of words. You made a bunch of friends but I think struggled to find that one friend that you really clicked with even though we would hear you talk about many different kids in your class. I'm praying for one really good friend this year and that s/he would be someone that would be a good influence on you and vice versa.

You are one smart cookie and I often hear you sounding out words or when Noah was learning to read this past year, you would intuitively guess the ending of the sentence.

You are my affectionate boy. You love saying that you love me and that I'm "the best" and giving hugs and cuddles. You definitely need to hear words of encouragement and affirmation and I'm constantly reminding myself to give you those as it's not my first instinct to do so.

You got a scooter for your birthday and you are getting so good on it! I'm so proud of you and your desire to stick with it and get "really good" at it. It's really cute to see you bombing down the sidewalk and learning to balance with both feet on it at the same time.

You are musical! You love clapping out rhythms, you pick up on songs and lyrics (and even was a voice of conviction in a Lumineers song when the guy says, "Oh my God", telling me that you didn't like that song because of it.) and you have lately started requesting jazz music. Which totally melts my heart. You pick up on moods and feelings in music and it makes my heart so happy to discuss music with you!

You love Noah. You miss him when he's not around and I'm so thankful you have each other, even if it does mean that you fight with each other a good deal of the time.

And you're really calming down around Blaise which is good for all of us. I know you love him, but how it comes out is sometimes a little too aggressive. Regardless, you have a really special relationship with your baby brother and I see it in how you and he interact and make up games together and the giggles you share as you engage in things like jumping on top of each other from the armrest of the couch. Yeah.

Sometimes you seem older than a five year old and I know I expect a lot from you. You are just my favourite Jude ever and I am so thankful you came into our lives on that hot, July day five years ago. Such a calm, (quick), chilled out entrance into this world and yet you have one of the biggest personalities in this family. I love you, Super Jude!

I love you, Jude.

Love,
Mama (Mom, Mommy)

weekend links! {Canadian version 1.0}

Weekend links are back, folks!

Blaise's hat / Joe Fresh {bought in store}

The tree is up, the candles are burning, some presents are even wrapped! I have not started any Christmas baking but in an attempt to curb my sugar intake, I'll only be baking for specific events and not to stock up and just have lying around our house. But I'll for sure be making the ever-favourited Cheese Stars. Other than that, I'm not too sure. Definitely some sort of shortbread, possibly a Vanilla Bean Shortbread since I still have tons of vanilla beans from Uganda. I'm on a charcuterie/cheese platter kick right now so it'll be lots of lovely cheeses and fruit and yummy crackers {like these} and meats that I'll be bringing/putting out for different events.

Advent envelopes are assembled and our first activity on Sunday will be to make bird feeders. We have this lovely bush in our backyard that tons of tiny little birds love to gather and sit upon so I'm hoping it'll be the perfect addition and a nice treat for those sweet little guys. There are also three squirrels {two black and one grey/brown} and a chipmunk that like to terrorize each other and the neighbourhood so I'm kinda looking forward to seeing what they'll do with the feeders. So anyway, I dug up an old Weekend Link from last year because I had remembered posting this sweet tutorial on making your own bird seed hanging. We'll be following from this one and possibly making this one too. Stay tuned for pictures on the outcome!

Finding your way through the commercialism and loud materialism during the Christmas season is not easy or pretty. I know in my own heart I yearn for simplicity and a sweet, simple focus and anticipation of the return of Jesus and the celebration of His birth. And yet I am a walking contradiction because my heart also longs for all the pretty things in all the stores, sparkling and gold and white and oh! How I want it all. And so my friend Kelly posted this exact same thing on being torn between the two things this season and how ultimately we want Jesus and we want our lives to reflect Him. I also found this post helpful with 5 things we can choose to do with our families during Advent to help us eagerly anticipate Jesus' birth.

My friend Barb blogs about the lost art of letter writing and all things relating to it. {You can check out her blog here.} This relates in that I bought a little something special and exciting - a personalized return address stamp for all our Christmas cards {and other letters and cards we send throughout the year}. It's lovely and it makes me happy. You can check out tons of designs on Etsy but the one I bought was this one. And it's on sale today!

Happy first weekend of Advent, everyone!

Noah's 6th

Dear Noah,

You are 6 years old. Six! You are funny and smart and tender-hearted and likeable and curious and feisty and I love you more than I really could ever express.

This year has not been easy but it's been oh-so-amazing. I've watched you conquer fears, experience transition, become a big brother for the second time, move back to Canada and start school for the first time. You're learning to read and do math. You're making friends and it does my Mama-heart so good to hear friends calling after you. You are loved and it seems obvious to me why. You are kind-hearted. You care for others and that draws people to you.

You like being silly. Whether it's having a dance party or making up jokes, you love it. You can dance with the best of them and both your brothers look to you for the best moves.

And as for being a big brother - you are totally rocking that role. Seriously, kiddo. You are such a fantastic big brother. I always wanted a big brother and you're exactly the kind I would have wanted. You are funny and sweet and helpful and loving. You selflessly give up the toy or food or position you wanted for Jude or Blaise. You're not perfect and you definitely have the skill of knowing just the right buttons to push on Jude {and in a quiet, subtle way a-la-classic-eldest-child} but I have seen you time and time again give up what you wanted - whether it's out of the kindness of your heart or because you really don't want to have to deal with Jude throwing a tantrum, you still do it.

And I love you for that.

You and I have butt heads on more than one occasion. You are strong. And stubborn. You can thank me for that some day.

But I trust and pray that your strength will not blind you to your need for Jesus. That you aren't meant to struggle through this life on your own strength, but that Jesus came for you. To walk with you through this life. That you need him and that He loves you so incredibly much. He made you, He cares for you and He's going to use you. You just have to let him.

I am so proud and honoured and blessed to be your Mama. You have taught me more in these last 6 years than I could have ever imagined and I can't wait to see where the next 6 years take us both!

I love you,
Mama

Jude, you are FOUR

Dear Jude,

You are four years old! As I type this, you are not quite four. You are lying in bed sleeping beside your older brother. But I thought I would type it up before tomorrow happens and I have a bit of time to reflect before I go to bed.

What a year you've had! We've moved continents, have travelled quite a bit and are currently in limbo while we wait for our home.

You are feisty, independent and you truly march to the beat of your own drum. Seriously. You live in another world and sometimes I'd really like to join you. You have an amazing spirit and I know you are going to do big things some day. I want to help you get there. Sometimes I don't know how, though.

You are running, jumping, shooting, marching, laughing, hugging, squinty-eyed smiling, always moving BOY.

I am so thrilled you came into our family four years and nine months ago. Because you were loved and anticipated from the moment we found out about you.

You can count and recognize letters and numbers and colours and while you don't often sit still for books, you still like to look at them every now and then and will listen to Bible stories if you're upset and need some Mommy-cuddle time. You climb and swim with water wings. You love the park and we have a hard time getting you to leave. You've recently learned how to ride your bike {with training wheels} and my heart soars with pride when I see you pedalling away on your little bike although you tend to give up halfway through wherever we are going.

You adore your big brother and contstantly look to emulate him. Look up to him and emulate the good, but never wish you were him. You are the only you. If you aren't you, no one else will be. Noah has been your built-in playmate for the last 2 years and you've challenged each other, made each other laugh, gotten in trouble with each other and protected each other. I love how you two are such tight friends and brothers and I pray it always stays like that between the both of you.

You love your little brother and although you are often too aggressive with him for my liking, I pray that this is the beginning of a tight, intimate brother-bond that you'll have for life with him. He will look up to you and seek to emulate you. I pray your example is one that inspires him to be fully who God created him to be.

You asked Jesus into your heart just this past month and while I'm not certain you fully know what that means, does anyone ever? You seem to be able to grasp big concepts and always have big, global questions. You truly think outside the box and there doesn't really seem to be any limits {in your mind} of what you can or can't do. I pray that every day you move closer to Jesus and that He becomes your centre, your purpose and your grounding point. He is big enough and full enough and more than enough to satisfy your every craving and desire. 

Happy birthday my beautiful, funny, middle boy! I love you more than I could ever capture in a yearly letter.
You are FOUR!
love,
Mama

on staying tenderhearted

To my oldest child, my firstborn son, Noah,

I wanted to write this down so I don't forget.

Please stay tenderhearted. Don't let this world crush you and make you cynical. Don't be overcome by your disappointment and anger when you don't get your way.

You are so sweet. And you love your brothers. So very much. I pray it only strengthens as the years go by.

The other day you walked into my room with a bit of an attitude. And then you saw that Blaise was awake and playing and you went right over and started talking your baby talk and letting him claw your face and grab your fingers. You absolutely adore your baby brother. And the feeling is most definitely mutual.

Later in the evening when Jude was running laps up and down the hill as a form of his discipline for being too rough {for the millionth time} with Blaise, you decided you would join Jude, even though you weren't being disciplined. You did it together with Jude and I melted a little {okay, a lot} at your compassion for your brothers.

I pray that God keeps your heart soft and tender and compassionate toward others.
Two thousand years ago, love changed the world. I pray that one day you will know that love and let Him change you and teach you how to love above and beyond your natural inclinations. Because He's created you fearfully and wonderfully. Know that. Believe that.

I love you fiercely,

Mama.