Haddon's 12 month letter

Dear Haddon,

I can't believe you are a year. Perhaps my denial is why it's taken me so long to actually write this post! (Also because I had to write it on my computer instead of my phone because the app kept crashing. I wonder what technology will be like when you are 35...)

Anyway, we had such a lovely day on your birthday! Over 30 people (I know. It was a bit overload.) came to celebrate and show their love to you. We had a winter theme and served all the things you can't have (chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate) and you didn't really even want your birthday cake although you were quite enamoured with the fondant snowman that Gramma made for the cake.

You are:
crawling really fast, still the wounded soldier style
cruising along furniture and with your birthday present, the walker!
babbling although not saying more than Dada and rarely Mama
eating most things though I still can't get you to eat cheese
not sleeping through the night.
sharing a room with your big brother Blaise and loving it! (thankfully he's a decent sleeper and not bothered by your frequent night wakes)
so happy to be with your brothers
sometimes found singing to yourself
able to hold your own with the noise factor
in love with your Daddy
sneaky and busy
a pretty good napper. I have no complaints. (Napping usually once a day, but sometimes twice.)
able to crawl up both sets of stairs in less than a minute
fascinated with balls
often found clinging to mine or your Daddy's legs wanting to be picked up
smart and put legos into your mouth as quickly as you can but then spit them out into my hand when I notice
generally quite happy and often dole out smiles pretty easily (usually).
adorable
chubby
wonderful
amazing
a part of our family and we love you so very much!

I can't remember what life was like before you and yet I remember your infancy days like they were yesterday. I could almost cry remembering how tiny you were and how much we both loved it when I wore you in the wrap and yet I know that each day gets better and better as I get to know you more and more. Your belly laugh is a day-maker and it's usually your brothers that can get one out of you.
You are a joy. You are a sweet, sweet blessing and I'm so thankful God gave us you.
I pray that you become strong and sweetly attuned to God's spirit. I pray you foster a love for your brothers and your family that is loyal and fierce. I pray that you stand up for those who are weaker than you. I pray that you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. I pray that you are a man who is characterized by compassion and your big heart. I pray you are strong enough to confront evil and sin and protect those who need protecting.
I love you, little mister Haddon. I pray all these things for you and so so so much more.

Happy birthday, buddy. The best is yet to come!

love
Mama

May THREE

We slept over at some friends last night and everyone was pretty tired today. I took this on the drive home from Toronto and I'm hoping for good sleep all around!

Blaise is busy and funny and trouble and holding his own in fights with Jude. I turn my back for a second and he's throwing toys in the toilet or mucking about with my hand cream or spitting out food everywhere (his latest thing that makes me want to stab my eyeballs).

Jude is adorable and stubborn and learning a lot and always full of stories and "Guys! Guess what?!". And praying. He loves to pray which I absolutely love.

Noah is growing up way to fast with his reading and sassy attitude and helpfulness with housework and his brothers. He is drawing and colouring with amazing skill these days and really into hanging out with his friends (a sign of thjngs to come, I suppose).

My three boys. I love them, the funny bits and the challenging bits; the easy bits and the feisty bits. Love love love 'em.

April THREE (20th)

So I'm late on this one. But I do want to post these here for posterity, I suppose.

It's Easter Sunday and I got to coordinate our outfits which was pretty fun. 

Blaise sure looks happy. (Note the sarcasm.)

Oh my boys.

Gotta love the crying kid pics. 

Happy Easter! (Sorry for the lack of insight and thoughtfulness. It's an iPhone post this month.)

March THREE {on the fourth}

They like to take all the pillows off the couch and build boats or walls or forts or hideouts. It's a rare occasion that they put them all back. At first I contemplated making a rule about not taking cushions off the couch. But...I'd rather them take the cushions off and use their imaginations than keep the living room pristine with them glued to the tv because there's nothing else to do.

They are growing, growing, growing. Fighting and talking and laughing and eating {a lot!} and wrestling and making messes and learning and it's going all so fast and yet so slowly sometimes.

I seriously don't even know how I managed to capture that picture. Nothing short of a miracle, folks.

I am exhausted and full and happy and sometimes yelling and hugging and kissing and tickling and teaching and correcting and loving. I am filled to the brim and yet often completely drained. Motherhood is a complex thing.
Blaise is finally sleeping better {glory hallelujah!}, Noah is reading like a fiend and it thrills my heart every time he reads a book or a word or a sign and Jude is always full of questions {and stories} about life and God and so soft to the gospel despite his challenging behaviour at times {which one of us doesn't have "challenging behaviour" in our own lives?}.

I am just trying to live each moment to the fullest and soak it all in.

Every month I take pictures of my boys on the third {or fourth}. See past months here. 

February THREE

We went skating with the boys yesterday. Their second time, our first time taking them.

It was such a perfect day. Not too cold, a light dusting of snow; it was lovely. For about 8 minutes.
Jude refuses to have anything but jelly legs on the ice which is always super easy to carry a 40lb child around with jelly legs. Blaise wanted to walk on the ice in front of the other skaters. So that wasn't dangerous or anything. Noah is actually doing pretty good and seems determined enough to just keep practicing so he can skate "as good as Daddy".

We met up with our friends, Dan & Amanda there and did a bit of skating before heading back to their place for hot chocolate. But how awesome is it that our little downtown city hall has a skating rink outside it? I love our little city. It's beautiful and I really hope the boys will remember this crazy snowy winter we're having. It sure is a huge shock compared to the last two "winters" we've had in Uganda.

I have to say, I am a fan of winter. Especially days like the last couple have been. Snowy but not ridiculously cold {like, say, -30 C!!!} and sunny like today! Beauty.
Or maybe you relate to Jude and winter makes you feel like this;

I take pictures of my three boys on the third of each month. You can view past months here.

January THREE {2014!}

It's a new year and I'm still taking pictures on the third!  Blaise is always, always busy, moving, doing, getting into trouble. He can pull himself up onto the dining room chair and then climb onto the table from there. It's pretty intense. He learned how to say "NO!" this week. Which is awesome. Right? Uh. Yeah.
He's my pickiest eater yet. I never know what he will or won't eat. Except sugar. He will always eat cookies, cake, chocolate or anything else he somehow just knows is full of the good white stuff.
He's my hitter. My scratcher. People, it's not easy having the rough kid. We were at a friends' house on New Years Eve and I had to follow Blaise around to make sure he wasn't hurting the two other babies there. The kid is a bruiser, I tell ya.

Jude. Still marching to the beat of his own drum. Or the toot of the horn. Whichever. He's had a major case of the whines this last week which is driving me bonkers and yet he's still so adorable with his floppy hair and squinchy eyes and belly laugh. I love the kid, but he certainly knows how to push my buttons. He got his beloved "big rocket!" for Christmas which he and Noah have been loving playing with all week. He hates the cold and would rather be playing inside than outside in the cold although he does oblige Noah {who incidentally loves the snow!} and will bundle up and go sledding or shovel the driveway.

My first born, Noah. I love him so but we have been butting heads recently. He's so sweet and tenderhearted, though. He usually helps around the house, willingly {though often needing a reminder} cleans up the toys, even if it wasn't his mess and is slowly learning to read. We have totally slacked in helping him with "homework" this holiday and I need to get on that. It's hard finding time to hunker down and do school work over the holiday with three kids. And it's a holiday so I want to let him watch tv and play with toys and go outside and not have to always do school stuff. I'm so motivated by education, can you tell? Ha.
Anyway, we'll put in a decent effort in the eleventh hour, I'm sure.

So this is the new year and I won't make any resolutions {I've never been the type}, but I will make lists and dream dreams and have hopes and as always, I don't want this year to just breeze by. I'm making it count and living it to the fullest that I can.
Happy New Year!

Every month I take pictures of my boys on the third. You can see past months here. 

December THREE {on the fourth}

I've been dog sick for the last two days. It's kinda weird, actually because I wasn't hugely congested although that was part of it, it was mostly a brutal migraine that made me want to pass out and throw up all at the same time. So that was fun.
But I'm so over-the-moon thankful for my husband who happened to have this week off. And although shuttling around kids and cleaning wasn't his idea of how we'd spend this week together, it was exactly what I needed. Because if I'm going to get sick, let it be now when he's around! He flies to Tanzania on Friday and it's just me and the kiddos for the next 10 days.

Oh yes. These three crazies. Jude had a complete meltdown tonight when we had our friend Trevor {who we lived with for our first year in Uganda} over for dinner. He refused to come down and ended up going to bed without dinner because he just didn't want to come and see Trevor. I felt bad for both of them, but I think Jude was just tired after another long day of school. These long days really tire him out! Hopefully the early bedtime will mean a more rested {and happy} kiddo for me tomorrow.

You can see Blaise & Jude really enjoying the window stickies. That was yesterday's advent activity. Simple, yet enjoyable. Today's {paper snowflakes} just didn't happen. Oh well. Tomorrow I am excited to teach them about St. Nicholas and leave out their shoes at night and see what happens {a chocolate coin in the morning!}. There seems to be confusion about Santa around our house these days. They know he's not real but sometimes liken him to God because they can't see either. So what's the difference?
I tried explaining it to Noah tonight and talked about how if God doesn't exist then we've wasted our lives ambition and especially the last two years in Uganda. Persistence in teaching what is true and consistency with how we live our lives as parents I think is key in guiding our children and teaching them God's Word. The rest is prayer and the mercy of God.

I've been a bit emotional these days and I'm sure there are many contributing factors but I am trying to be more introspective and as I listened in to Jamie explaining communion to Jude in church this past weekend, I almost burst into tears as the sacrifice that Jesus made was revealed in a fresh way to me. Skin and bones and blood, just like my little Jude sitting on the chair next to me. And for me He died! Gratitude overwhelms my heart and the tears spill over.

I love these kids. My heart yearns for them to love Jesus and know Him as I do. Some days I feel like I'm not doing them any favours by planning fun little advent activities. I should be reading the Bible more to them. I should be seizing more opportunities to explain the gospel to them. I should pray more for them. I should pray more with them.

I am never going to be a perfect mother. I was never meant to be. Again, thankfulness overwhelms that I don't have to be perfect. Jesus already did that.

He's so good. Every time. All the time.

every month I {try to} take pictures of my boys on the third. see past months here. 

November THREE

Nobody sits still in this house any more. Not even me. Only I wish I could.
But I digress. Needless to say, life is BUSY!

Blaise wants whatever we have. Gone are the days of sneaking sweets or other food in front of him {and away from the big boys}. He knows. And he wants it. Whatever "it" happens to be. Today it was Jamie's Pepsi and the old camera the boys were playing with. And he knows when he's touching something he shouldn't. The other day I had a box of tampons sitting at the top of the stairs waiting to be put away. {Just add it to the list, please.} Well I heard him crawling up the stairs and so I went up after him. He heard me, scampered up as fast as he could, headed for the box of tampons, grabbed a fist full and ran down the hallway as fast as he could move those chubby little legs. I laughed so hard. Oh yes. It's on the blog. And you will be so grossed out one day, mister.
Also? I discovered the bottoms of his feet are super ticklish. It's really cute.

I don't know where he's getting it from, but Noah's Mister Pose these days. Seriously! He's got great poses whenever I've held up my camera. {Check out this post from Halloween for another awesome pose he did with Jude in their costumes. I love the hand on the hip and the other arm around Jude!}
He's slowly starting to sound out words and gain the confidence he needs to sound out words he doesn't know or recognize. He's been sounding out words and writing them in school assignments and it's cute to try and read what he's written.

Jude is still the family comedian and a full-time resident of Planet Jude. Today while I was out grocery shopping after church, Jamie sent me a text message with a picture of Jude taking a nap in his closet. Apparently it was his idea and Jamie helped him get set up with his pillow and blanket. Not that I'm surprised.

These boys. I've not been the most patient Mama {or wife} lately. I continue to be aware more than ever of my shortcomings and lackings and am learning to lean heavily upon Jesus to be my all so I can love my family better.

There is so much to be thankful for. The most recent and exciting? I'm going to be an Auntie! My sister is due with her first baby in May and I am so excited!
So there is much. I feel like I should have figured out life here by now. But I haven't. Slowly. And with much grace and humility. I'll get there. I hope.

Every month I {try to} take pictures of my three boys. Check out past months' here.

october THREE

It's still the third! I missed last month. But I'm getting my blog groove back {I think}.

These boys...

I love them so. This morning was a weird one. Jude slept 'til 8. I felt groggy the whole day. And me, Blaise and Jude stayed in our pajamas until we had to go pick up Noah from school {since he takes the bus to school now!}.

Jude and Blaise are starting to "play" together on the days that Jude is at home. Sometimes. When Jude's not totally mauling the little guy. But Blaise is starting to be able to hold his own with Jude. Nothing is off limits. Oh they've got a bright future, they do.

Blaise still lights up when he sees Noah first thing in the morning and when we pick him up from school. It's really sweet.
And they all really have a lot of fun together. When they're not fighting with each other. Such is life when you only have brothers.

My three boys. They are full of life and love and joy and crazy and sass and I wouldn't trade them for any other kids in the world!

Every month I {try} to take pictures of my boys. View past months here.

August THREE

This post is totally post dated. But the pictures were actually taken on or around the third of August.

Playing at the front door of a house we stayed at in August.

He's on the move. And he doesn't.ever.stop.

Playing on the stairs. Admittedly not the best place for boys to play, but when they're getting along so sweetly, it's hard to interfere.

I'm glad we made happy memories even though it was tough not to be in our own home this past summer.

*every month I take pictures of my boys on the third. see past months here.

July THREE

We're back! Life is crazy but good.

I took this one of the boys in the grocery store yesterday. A bonus shot with Jamie in it.

And today Erin {my sister-in-law} took this one of the boys in the food court at the mall. Classic.

Sorry it's been so quiet around here. It's good to be back in Canada, but I'm struggling to "keep up" so am just trying to focus on the most important things {which would be people} these days.
I'll find my groove, I promise.

I take pictures of my boys on the third of each month. See past months here.

June THREE

This is insane. It's June! We have just over 2 weeks left in Uganda!

We've been {sorta} packing and planning and some big things have been happening and I'm so excited about them and I'm so excited to see friends and family and give them big hugs and sit and drink large glasses of Canadian milk {oh yes.} and give them all the lovely things I've been buying for them.

Needless to say, we've been busy. And so this blog has been neglected. But it won't always be this way.

Blaise has been sleeping a bit better {as in averaging 1 wake up to nurse per night, not including the one between 10 and 11pm} and napped for a total of 5.5 hours yesterday! Whaaaa?!?
Noah and Jude have helped me do a preliminary sorting of toys and it was relatively pain-free as we decided what toys to leave here/give away and what toys to bring back to Canada. They're excited to move, although every now and then one of them will mention something they'll miss about Uganda like our house or our yard or their friends.

I just realized that our next monthly picture will be in Canada! That makes me both incredibly sad and yet also incredibly nervous/excited.

Oh the things we will do! Oh the places we will go!

I take pictures of my kids every month. Check out past months here.

may THREE {on the 7th!}

Whoops. Time got away from me and I realized yesterday I hadn't taken my monthly picture of the boys.

Now that Blaise is full-on crawling, these pictures got a whole lot trickier. As if trying to get a good shot of three boys wasn't hard enough, now I have a crawling baby! Honestly.

Noah is super helpful and always letting me know what Blaise is doing when he thinks I'm not paying attention. It's sweet. He's always on "choking alert" patrol.

I've been spending extra time with Jude giving him cuddles and hugs and kisses. He has been a lot sweeter towards Blaise as well. He's still super INYOURFACE with Blaise but he loves giving him hugs and kisses.

How hilarious is this shot of Blaise? "How YOU doin'?" {I'm totally getting my boys to recreate this shot when they're older. Like these people did.}

I'm a Mama to three boys! Every now and then I have to say it out loud to believe it {as if my house wasn't evidence enough!}.

Every month on the third {or thereabouts} I take a picture of my three boys. You can view past months here.

april THREE

I almost forgot to take the boys' picture today. Then I looked at the calendar on my computer and realized I get to take another picture of my three boys. I honestly love these monthly pictures and enjoy looking back on the pictures I started taking of them last year!

This is in our backyard {or maybe I should just say it's the part of our yard that's located behind our house since our whole yard is fenced in} under our very own mango tree. I have never seen a mango on this tree, nor eaten one from it although that would have been nice. But the boys, the big boys that is, like climbing it. It's their "climbing tree".

Jamie is taking Noah and Jude to a showing of Madagascar 3 at MishMash tonight under the stars! They're super excited and I think it'll be a fun time for them with Jamie. Some fun "guys time".

We had a good Easter weekend. Very low key and chill. We read the Easter story, watched a cartoon version of Passion week {on Good Friday} and Resurrection {on Easter Sunday} and the boys had some good questions. There was no candy or egg hunt at our house although we did participate in a small egg hunt at MishMash on Monday and the kids were just as thrilled to be searching for laminated paper eggs than to be finding candy. Note to self - don't bother with the candy next year.

On the third of every month I take pictures of my three boys. See past monthly pictures here.

three

Three boys!

I love these three. I continue to see how different they all are from each other. Day by day, new surprises and differences are revealed.
Noah and Jude both love to make Blaise smile and laugh, but Noah is sweet and tender while Jude is active and louder. Blaise already loves each of his brothers as they interact differently with him.
Blaise is full of hilarious facial expressions and is happiest when he is naked.

Noah and Jude fight a lot these days. When we were in Spain they were in different childcare groups and Jude especially really missed his big brother. It made my heart melt to see that yes! They do love each other. They might just need a break from each other more than they currently have.

These boys. My three little Wild Things.

Every month on the third, I take a picture of my three boys. Check out past months here.

three on the third

I actually did take this on the third. But I didn't bring my computer and Jamie's computer doesn't have a card reader. So I'm back dating it. Because I can.

Spain was amazing. More on that later. But these three guys got a lot of attention - especially Blaise who made tons of friends on the metro which we took every day in Barcelona.

I had wanted to get a picture of them outside somewhere cool in Barcelona {which is where we were on the third} but it was quite windy and cold that day and there may or may not have been numerous melt downs and tantrums. So a few pictures snapped during some tv time worked just as well in our Ikea-decorated apartment that we rented for the week {definitely the way to travel with kids}.

Noah. He is just growing so fast. Jude is non-stop and mostly defiant. Blaise is adorable but enduring his first cold, poor guy.

We've had some really tough moments over the past couple weeks but also some really good ones. Traveling with young kids is not for the faint of heart, but I think it's worth it to push the limits and see what you can do and what doesn't work. Again, more on that later.

Three boys in Barcelona! Huzzah!