November THREE

Nobody sits still in this house any more. Not even me. Only I wish I could.
But I digress. Needless to say, life is BUSY!

Blaise wants whatever we have. Gone are the days of sneaking sweets or other food in front of him {and away from the big boys}. He knows. And he wants it. Whatever "it" happens to be. Today it was Jamie's Pepsi and the old camera the boys were playing with. And he knows when he's touching something he shouldn't. The other day I had a box of tampons sitting at the top of the stairs waiting to be put away. {Just add it to the list, please.} Well I heard him crawling up the stairs and so I went up after him. He heard me, scampered up as fast as he could, headed for the box of tampons, grabbed a fist full and ran down the hallway as fast as he could move those chubby little legs. I laughed so hard. Oh yes. It's on the blog. And you will be so grossed out one day, mister.
Also? I discovered the bottoms of his feet are super ticklish. It's really cute.

I don't know where he's getting it from, but Noah's Mister Pose these days. Seriously! He's got great poses whenever I've held up my camera. {Check out this post from Halloween for another awesome pose he did with Jude in their costumes. I love the hand on the hip and the other arm around Jude!}
He's slowly starting to sound out words and gain the confidence he needs to sound out words he doesn't know or recognize. He's been sounding out words and writing them in school assignments and it's cute to try and read what he's written.

Jude is still the family comedian and a full-time resident of Planet Jude. Today while I was out grocery shopping after church, Jamie sent me a text message with a picture of Jude taking a nap in his closet. Apparently it was his idea and Jamie helped him get set up with his pillow and blanket. Not that I'm surprised.

These boys. I've not been the most patient Mama {or wife} lately. I continue to be aware more than ever of my shortcomings and lackings and am learning to lean heavily upon Jesus to be my all so I can love my family better.

There is so much to be thankful for. The most recent and exciting? I'm going to be an Auntie! My sister is due with her first baby in May and I am so excited!
So there is much. I feel like I should have figured out life here by now. But I haven't. Slowly. And with much grace and humility. I'll get there. I hope.

Every month I {try to} take pictures of my three boys. Check out past months' here.

a gobblety goop of things

it's been a good week. but it hasn't been an easy week.

we're currently experimenting with not swaddling blaise for his naps. he sleeps no better, but no worse. we'll see how it goes.

blaise got his 2 month immunizations on tuesday. he's been a bit irritable during the days. thankfully still sleeping really well at night.
i'm tired. and most days i feel like i fail more than i succeed. but there's grace. and strength.
i'm feeling a bit lonely and missing face-to-face conversations with people who know me and love me and understand me. but there's grace. and strength.

i had a bit of an ache in my heart the other day as we drove the streets of kampala. i was thinking about how i'll miss living here when we leave. i'm very much excited for the day we return to canada, but right now? kampala is home for us. and there are many things i'll miss about living here. {noah remarked to me almost seconds after i thought this that he is glad we're moving back to canada because the streets are bigger and don't have pot holes. yeah. that'll be nice.}

i crocheted a scarf. it's incredibly soft and thick. and warm. much too warm for here. but i'm saving it for when we go to spain in january.
you can find the pattern here.

i haven't exercised all week {tired much?} and i've been scarfing down chocolate. holding crying babies makes me crave chocolate.

jamie challenged me/us to watch all our christmas movies this year. we figured out that we have 22. so far we've watched five.

our tree is up. the stockings are hung. we're listening to christmas music. and i'm loving watching the boys act out the christmas story with their little people nativity set. the other day i heard noah yelling at jude: LET US IN! WE NEED A ROOM!!! LET US IN OR I'LL PUNCH YOU!
i looked over and found that he was holding mary and joseph and jude was holding one of the wise men. i think maybe he was supposed to be the innkeeper. i'm not quite sure that's how it all went down, but i like jospeh's protective and assertiveness.

a wasp flew into our living room the other day. as it was flying around, it got stuck in a spider's web. i have never seen a daddy long legs {or whatever this african equivalent is called} move so quickly! seriously. the spider was on that wasp so fast. but the wasp got free and we eventually "swooshed" it outside again.

i would like to sleep for the entire weekend. but that's not going to happen.
there are so many good things in my life. but life is not always easy. no matter your stage in life or where you live.
wishing you a wonderful weekend! {and a happy thanksgiving to all my american friends and readers!}

brothers

every morning they argue over who will be first to hold blaise.

i suppose that's one argument i don't mind hearing. 

especially since it won't last long.

{how is my youngest baby already 7.5 weeks old!?!}

on being chatty and brotherly bonding

today during noah's quiet time i lay down on the bed. he was in the living room playing with his legos.

eventually he came and joined me and jamie in our bedroom {where he usually has his quiet time}. 

he had lots to say.

usually i tell him it's a time to be on our own and not talking, but today i just listened and talked with him {while i played solitaire on jamie's iPad}. 

i don't even remember what we talked about anymore, but lots of it was observations and thoughts and comments about books and movies that he likes. 

he left the room at one point {to go to the bathroom} and i commented to jamie that one day he might not want to talk to me. actually, i think i said that one day he probably wouldn't want to talk to me. 

his comments and thoughts kept up throughout the day with the occasional sassy mouth {something we're working on}. i am loving the general openness of noah with me and jamie and his thoughts and creative ideas. he has a "drawing book" that he likes to draw things in during his quiet times and i'll need to post some more of his drawings on his blog because they really are adorable and funny.

after an early dinner {because i was going crazy from both him and jude complaining that they were hungry, hungry, hungry} we were all hanging out in the living room and baby B was kicking and moving up a storm! i called the boys over and lifted up my shirt to reveal my belly. noah was quite amazed at his movements;

he's punching you right there!

whoa! he's moving so much! 

and it was one of the first times the boys really saw and felt his movements. up until now they really haven't had the patience or interest {boldness, maybe} to feel my belly and wait for a movement, but tonight he was really active so it was a perfect moment for the boys to really understand that there's a person inside of me.

they both took turns trying to "listen" to what baby B was doing and saying hi to him and telling him their names. 

the other day noah and jude were with me and jude asked how baby B got inside me. i hesitated for a moment.

is this the beginning of "the talk"?

i explained that mommy & daddy decided we wanted to make a baby and then God is the one who makes baby B grow nice and big and strong inside of me.

noah looked confused.

so does how does God reach inside of you?

i told him that i didn't really know how exactly God makes human beings {or anything really!} but that He's able to make people and that He's the only one who can do that.

this set the boys off on talking about how big and strong God is. 

oh my boys. i love you so. i can't wait to add another little man to our fun and crazy family.

little things

it's the little things that make me happy.

i think that's true about most people.

here's what's made me happy in the past few days:

is it weird that it makes me happy to have somewhere to put my toothbrush and face wash? 

oh and not only do the boys have a shelf for toiletries but they also have a mirror! oh the luxuries!

{it only took 2 weeks. still waiting on ours.}

you guys, i have mixing bowls. in all different colours! happy!

would you just look at that soft lighting? goodbye ugly florescent lights! 

also? 

tonight i had a hot shower! {also for the first time in 2 weeks.} 

all those who are planning on visiting us here, take heart! 

your bathroom has the only hot water tank in our house. 

and last, overhearing noah "reading" the very hungry caterpillar to jude this afternoon.

a moment of sibling happiness a midst the cranky, aggravating behaviour that was more than present today.

and now off i go to read in the beautiful glow of my new soft lighting.

bon nuit!

breakable

kids are pretty resilient.
but they need some sort of stability in their lives.


it was a long, drawn out, somewhat difficult bedtime tonight but God gave me grace and patience for my sweet boys.
noah looked at some books while i rocked jude to sleep and then i lay down with noah until he fell asleep so he wouldn't be scared on his own.
they are both quiet and sleeping now. i pray they sleep through the night okay.

while i lay there with noah, he and i had another conversation about africa.

n: do aunt heidi and uncle jordi (whose place we are house sitting for now) work at daddy's work in guelph? (the university)
me: yes.
n: but daddy doesn't work there anymore.
me: you're right.
n: why?
me: because we're going to move to uganda and he'll be working there.
pause
n: but why do we have to move to uganda?

oh how my heart squeezes with a little grief as i try to explain to you, sweet boy, why we feel God has called our family to move to uganda. away from what we know. to something different.

oh how my heart is excited for all that you (we) will experience and how it is going to be so worth everything we are "giving up".

He is worth it. all of it.

i pray that you will know this and experience this. with all my heart this is what i pray for you and your brother.

photo credit

lately

There's been a lot going on lately.
This post may bore you as I'm writing mainly for my future self to remember some of these smaller details that are quite easily forgotten.

We're moving out of this house as of May 1st. We'll be living with my parents until August when we move to Uganda. So now our landlords have started showing the house. Have you ever tried to get a house presentable to be shown when you've got 2 young kids? Yeah. That. But hopefully they've found some people interested in renting once we move out.
We've been selling loads of our things - some on Kijiji (oh wonderful, wonderful Kijiji) and some to friends and people we know. The two big things I want to conquer next are the garage *shudder* and the boys toys.
The garage has just gotten progressively worse as the winter has gone on. It's a disaster. I will divide and conquer.
The boys toys are another issue - which toys do we keep and store? Which toys do we sell? Which toys do we bring? I'd like to bring as few toys as possible as kids can really make toys out of anything and I really only want to keep/store the ones that are timeless (like metal cars, trains, some puzzles, wooden play food) and sell/chuck the rest.

Yesterday we went into Toronto to the travel clinic for our travel consultation and first set of vaccines. The boys were a bit stir crazy, but we managed. And they did relatively well with their two needles (each). I felt bad about not warning Noah - he really freaked out. It's so hard to know with him - do I warn him and possibly make him even more reactive or do I just let it happen and deal with the freak out then? He has a super quick recovery time for the most part so we did alright this time. He has one more needle to get before we go.
Jude, on the other hand was not as quick to recover and didn't even want his chocolate "prize". (So I ate it.)
He wailed and wailed and wailed and was pretty angry about the needles. He started wailing just from the swab being rubbed on his arm before the needle. This kid, man. D-R-A-M-A.
And $600+ later for vaccines we walked out with 2 bouncy balls, 6 sore arms, 1 kid hyped up on gummies and chocolate and some knowledge about malaria pills and family planning (among many other things) that will be tucked away for future reference (on my part).
As we were walking back to the car (we parked a short walk away so as to avoid paying the parking toll) I mused in my head that a part of me wishes we were living downtown Toronto with no car and taking the public transit everywhere. Perhaps one day. I absolutely adore the country side and even living in Guelph is wonderful, but there is a City Girl that owns a part of my heart.

Then last night I got picked up by my brother Keven who took me out on a date as my Christmas present (this year my family drew names and he picked mine and his gift to me was a date with him, all expenses paid by him). While I'm pretty sure that he ultimately left it to the last minute (perhaps not, but I wouldn't at all be surprised if it was) I'm so glad he didn't just go out and buy me a gift card or give me cash. He gave me the gift of time and relationship and I honestly can't remember the last time he and I talked one-on-one for a longer period of time.
We went downtown to Wayne Gretzky's restaurant where I had some pretty amazing baby back ribs and then we went next door to The Second City for my first ever (and Keven's, too!) comedy show.
I found myself laughing pretty hard at some of the social commentary that was weaved into their sketches. Too funny. (You know it's funny stuff when you laugh to yourself the next day just thinking about it and then ruin it by trying to reenact it for a friend who wasn't there. Oh well.)
Plus I got to talk and catch up with Keven for the whole drive back to Guelph. I had a really great night and got to get to know my brother a little better - and he's a pretty great guy. Also, he got pulled up onto the stage at the Second City which pretty much made the night a complete winner in my opinion.

Anyway, so there's lots going on these days. My goal this week was to renew Noah's passport and get one for Jude but tomorrow is Thursday and I haven't even started. So, we'll see how that one goes. Perhaps tomorrow should be passport picture day. Or something.

And I'm keeping at my half marathon training although it's only going so-so.

And my eating habits are total crap, but I'm just doing what I'm doing and trying to make healthy choices when I can. I've also decided to give up sugar for lent but there's a whole blog post coming on that one (for reals. It's currently a draft right now.).

If you made it this far, well...bravo. Thanks for hanging in there, friend.
Bon nuit!

tantrums and my own issues

Lately I've been struggling with my responses to Noah's meltdowns. Like screaming-in-my-face-in-the-middle-of-Chapters meltdowns. Like throwing-metal-cars-across-the-room meltdowns.
Everything in me just melts down into one emotion: pure rage. And then embarrassment if we're somewhere public. And then frustration because I don't know how to make.it.stop.
I read somewhere {Raising Boys, maybe?} about testosterone surges in boys at ages 3 and 7 and then of course during puberty I think. This would explain the pure rage and anger Noah exhibits, but how to explain mine?
I've mostly been able to keep it under check but it's definitely a wake up call that I need to work through my issues of control and pride {because that's what causes my embarrassment in a public situation}.
But it's frustrating to feel like I'm back here again. Working through these issues all over again.

Today I decided to play out a future situation with Noah.

Me: Noah, we're going to Hannah's house after lunch. And we're going to stay and play there for awhile. But after awhile we're going to have to leave and come back home. So when I say "Noah. It's time to go." You need to say, "Okay Mom." and then we'll get our coats and boots on. Okay?

Noah: Okay.

Me: So let's practice. Noah. We're having a fun time at Hannah's house but it's time to go.

pause


Me again: So what do you need to say?

Noah: Um...okay Mom. Boots and coats, now?

We rehearsed this a few more times and I also reminded him of this in the car on the way there.
While we were there we had a minor struggle for a diaper change {more on our goal of The Great Potty Training of 2011 later} and I reminded him of his response when I would soon tell him that it was time to go.

And then when it was time...it worked! He said, Okay! {and then quickly asked if he could watch something on tv while I prepared dinner when we got home.}
So all the rehearsing worked. I wasn't a believer of the practicing and preparing beforehand in the past, but I guess I needed to actually get him to say the words and pretend. I think it helped a lot.

I hope this will help the rage in our household. Because Jude watches and is The Ultimate CopyCat in his spitting and hitting and saying "NO!". It's shocking because he's so young, and kinda scary at how much he picks up from watching Noah so I'm really trying hard to set firm ground rules of expected behaviour because I do NOT want my children screaming in my face, much less anyone else's!

It's truly a good thing they are so cute because all I have to do is look at pictures like these {no matter how my day has been} and my heart goes to mush.

2 blessings

I'm so blessed.

Even though Jude is in a hitting phase {wherein he hits only his brother and as hard as he can!} and Noah often screams this ear-piercing scream whenever Jude approaches his beloved puzzles.

Even though Jude hangs off my pant leg when I'm trying to make dinner and Noah is sometimes whiney and asks to watch tv many, many times a day.

I'm blessed to have these two children in my life. They make me laugh and smile. They teach me to wonder and take joy in the little things.

They make me strive to be more creative, to really SEE the beauty in things, to love and pray more.

When I see them hug, when I watch Noah share his favourite toy with Jude and teaches Jude to say "truck" or "book"...

My heart.

it goes.

Kapow!