lately...

In my ears
The Oh Hellos - Through the Deep, Dark Valley

I've been listening to this album on repeat. Over and over and over again and I can't get enough of it. Usually my life and my days are so full of noise that I don't have time right away to listen to lyrics {this isn't ideal, but it's my current state of reality} but I enjoy the musical-ness of it. After listening to this album for probably the seventh time in a row, some of the lyrics stuck out and sunk in and I realized that they are likely Christians. Which is pretty cool. I like it when people who love Jesus make great art/music.

Such great music.

And how amazing is this one:

In my heart & in my house
Pizza night

We'd already done one pizza night and it ended up being on Mother's Day with me working pretty hard to make enough pizza from scratch to feed 14 adults. I had a few helpers, but it was a bit lonely and not very much fun although I do enjoy serving people and loving them by feeding them.
Last night, though, we made pizza night a team event and I had tons of cheese graters, veggie choppers, and pizza dough mixers. The music was playing and I took the opportunity to grill one of our interns on his love life. Because I can. Ha!
I looked around at our team enjoying pizza and as I continued to roll out the dough I smiled deeply and felt incredibly satisfied. This is what I want and this is what I envision when I say I love to host people. I love having people in my home and eating together. This is, I think, the ultimate goal of hospitality. Not rushing around doing it all on my own, but the loving each other, the talking and laughing with each other and the eating and preparing together.

On my Kindle
Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist {on sale for $3.99 today!}

This book is delicious and inspiring and hopeful and exciting.
I've been reading it and wanting to shout "YES!" at so many moments, but I don't because there's usually a sleeping baby within earshot.
It's a collection of essays about life and faith and celebrating the two with friends around your table with amazing food. And how we all should do it. Here are a few quotes:

"Life at the table is life at its best to me, and the spiritual significance of what and how we eat, and with whom and where, is new and profound to me every day."

"Get comfortable with people in your home, with the mess and the chaos. Focus on making people comfortable, on creating a space protected from the rush and chaos of daily life, a space full of laughter and safety and soul."

"I want my kids to learn firsthand and up close that different isn't bad, but instead that different is exciting and wonderful and worth taking the time to understand. I want them to see themselves as bit players in a huge, sweeping, beautiful play, not as the main characters in the drama of our living room. I want my kids to taste and smell and experience the biggest possible world, because every bite of it, every taste and texture and flavor is delicious."

So good, right? Ugh. So good.

Oh did I tell you I ate grasshoppers? I was influenced by my own child. We had fried grasshoppers one night but I was putting Blaise down for bed. The next afternoon there were some left over and Jude picked one up and said, "Can I eat it?" and I said, "Sure!" and he seemed hesitant so I encouraged him to try one. He said, "Can I stick my tongue on it?" and I told him that he could and when he licked it, his eyes lit up and he said they tasted salty and then promptly stuck the whole thing in his mouth and went back to eat a few more. Then he handed me one and asked if I would eat one.
People. It's a grasshopper. It's gross looking. I could see the eyes! But I couldn't say that I wasn't willing to try something to Jude when he had just shown me that he was willing to try something new. So I popped one in. It wasn't bad. Kinda like popcorn. I was expecting a spurt or something disgusting. But it was fine. Then I even ate one again so Jamie could get it on camera. Because I'm awesome like that.

pregnant & one week old comparison

so glad he's in my arms and not my belly. 

3

3 days in to this "mommy-of-three" gig and i'm s l o w l y getting the hang of it.
last night was our best night yet.
and my heart is bursting out of love from this little man who has so easily snuck his way into all our hearts.
there won't be too much action on this blog for a little while, but i do hope to post a couple pictures now and again while i eventually get to blaise's birth story.
so for now, here's a sampling of life these days:

on being chatty and brotherly bonding

today during noah's quiet time i lay down on the bed. he was in the living room playing with his legos.

eventually he came and joined me and jamie in our bedroom {where he usually has his quiet time}. 

he had lots to say.

usually i tell him it's a time to be on our own and not talking, but today i just listened and talked with him {while i played solitaire on jamie's iPad}. 

i don't even remember what we talked about anymore, but lots of it was observations and thoughts and comments about books and movies that he likes. 

he left the room at one point {to go to the bathroom} and i commented to jamie that one day he might not want to talk to me. actually, i think i said that one day he probably wouldn't want to talk to me. 

his comments and thoughts kept up throughout the day with the occasional sassy mouth {something we're working on}. i am loving the general openness of noah with me and jamie and his thoughts and creative ideas. he has a "drawing book" that he likes to draw things in during his quiet times and i'll need to post some more of his drawings on his blog because they really are adorable and funny.

after an early dinner {because i was going crazy from both him and jude complaining that they were hungry, hungry, hungry} we were all hanging out in the living room and baby B was kicking and moving up a storm! i called the boys over and lifted up my shirt to reveal my belly. noah was quite amazed at his movements;

he's punching you right there!

whoa! he's moving so much! 

and it was one of the first times the boys really saw and felt his movements. up until now they really haven't had the patience or interest {boldness, maybe} to feel my belly and wait for a movement, but tonight he was really active so it was a perfect moment for the boys to really understand that there's a person inside of me.

they both took turns trying to "listen" to what baby B was doing and saying hi to him and telling him their names. 

the other day noah and jude were with me and jude asked how baby B got inside me. i hesitated for a moment.

is this the beginning of "the talk"?

i explained that mommy & daddy decided we wanted to make a baby and then God is the one who makes baby B grow nice and big and strong inside of me.

noah looked confused.

so does how does God reach inside of you?

i told him that i didn't really know how exactly God makes human beings {or anything really!} but that He's able to make people and that He's the only one who can do that.

this set the boys off on talking about how big and strong God is. 

oh my boys. i love you so. i can't wait to add another little man to our fun and crazy family.

one blessed mama

i'm not sure if it's some sort of instinctual pregnancy thing {like nesting} that makes me want to scoop up my children and love on them in a way that seems to say,

life is going to change for our family. it won't just be the four of us anymore. someone else is coming into our lives and he's going to require a lot of my time and energy but that doesn't mean i'm going to love you any less.


noah's been more cuddly lately. or maybe i've just been more attuned to his needs. whatever the reason, tonight while we cuddled in the dark with no power he had some questions about the baby and i braced myself for questions like, will you stop loving me? or why weren't you happy with just us? but they never come. instead questions like, will you read to baby b, too?

yes, i answer. he'll listen to the same stories i read to you and jude.


and when you and daddy got married, was i not born yet?


i say, no. you weren't born yet. you and jude came a few years later.


i love how my sweet noah is so tender-hearted. so interested in babies and kids. so thoughtful in his questions. so accepting of this new life coming into our family.

at dinner time, jamie shows the boys his wedding ring and says that the ring means that he's married to me.
jude pipes up with, one day, i'm going to marry you all by myself!

i am one blessed mama.

8

it's apparently the time of year where lots of people get married.
my facebook newsfeed has had at least one person per day for the last week wish their spouse a happy anniversary.
today is ours.
we both forgot this morning. we groggily rolled out of bed {him because he stayed up late last night to watch the england game; me because i had a pepsi too late at night i think, and couldn't fall asleep until well after he came to bed} and went to the dining room to make some breakfast.
trevor wished us a happy annivesary. jamie said, "whoops." i said, "oh yeah." trevor and nick laughed at us.

this is us. we aren't big on making a huge to-do about dates or birthdays or anniversaries {except this year on mother's day when my pregnancy hormones kicked in and i got all sulky.}. sometimes we celebrate by going out for dinner. sometimes we have a whole day planned. sometimes we do nothing to celebrate at all. i'm not sure what this says about us but i do know that both of us are on the same page and we're okay with it. i love this handsome blue-eyed man more today than i thought was possible 8 years ago.

today is nick and trevor's last day in uganda before they fly back to canada tomorrow morning. so we're celebrating and spending the day with them. we've got the rest of the summer to spend together.

and our lives.

{also we've been watching finding nemo lately with the boys and you know that line when dorrie says to marlin, "I look at you, and I'm home."? it always makes me a bit teary. and it's how i feel about jamie. so i'm making this song our 8 year song.}




*linking up with Elaine for Miss Elaine-ous Mondays.

two

oh my two boys. i've really been praying lately for increased love and patience for my kids. that God would give me His eyes to see the children that He has blessed me with. that He would give me wisdom to know how to best love them and instruct them and build into them and He is so faithful. the previous pregnancy grumpies have mostly dissipated and i have such a joy when i stop and take the time to really look at my two precious boys.

it's also been so much fun to watch them interacting with the other staff here and soon the students as well that have come from canada.
i see how different my two boys are and absolutely love the differences. how boring it would be {and much less sanctifying} if jude and noah were exactly the same. of course parenting might be easier to figure out, but i'm not so sure the words "parenting" and "easy" should ever really be in the same sentence. {can i get an amen?}
this morning jude yelled at a crumb to get back into his banana bread. he always makes us laugh, even when we should probably be disciplining him.
every night noah loves to tell me that he hopes i have sweet dreams and is always first to request a hug.
i love my boys.
and i'm so looking forward to adding a third completely unique and different boy to our family.

linking to steph who posts pictures of her 4 kids on the fourth of each month

when tuesday feels like a monday

it really was one of those perfect kind of days.
we didn't really do anything out of the ordinary. but we made the most of the day we were given.

i've started a morning routine for the boys where jude gets to experience "room time" and noah gets some time to play on this fabulous website called 'starfall' where he learns about letters and phonetics and whatnot.

i set jude up in his room with the toys he wants on the carpet, bring in the stereo and put on some music. then i tell him he gets to play in his room until the timer goes off {today we attempted 45 minutes. i know he can do longer, but we haven't been practicing "room time" so we're slowly building up}. today he happily played except for the part where he played with the plugs on the power bar and turned off his music. i went in and turned it on again.

noah happily plays on starfall and sometimes i'll sit with him and talk about the letters, or sound out letters and words with him and then sometimes i'll get some things done like laundry done or exercise {i've been doing these since i found out i was pregnant alternating with riding our stationary bicycle}.

then i carried out some buckets of water and some water toys for the boys to play outside with. eventually jude decided to "water the car" which led me to get some more water, some stools and some cloths for them to full-on wash our car. they loved it and spent the better part of the morning outside washing our car.

but it eventually turned into this. we're sorta doing potty training with jude right now.

noah was such a helper today, jude is getting so much better at sharing with his brother and we did a bunch of crafty-type things today. it was a good day.

i covered some tin cans in ribbon to make the boys' marker jars so much prettier. and i made a tiny vase for the flowers that the boys like to pick for me. 

oh and jamie came home with these today:

spain.

so we went to spain. it was glorious.

see?
it's been so long since i last blogged that i almost didn't know where to start. i hadn't meant to take this long, but the day before we left to come back to uganda i got slammed with a brutal head cold/flu thing that was going around. and i was pretty much bed-ridden until yesterday. absolutely brutal.
but i'm on the mend.
so...
spain. our flight route was uganda to kenya to amsterdam to spain. and then a bus ride to our destination in nerja. but it.was.so.worth.it.
our schedule was light and we spent afternoons walking around through the cobblestone streets and the mornings and evenings in soul-lifting sessions. {more posts to come as i process through the things i learned.}
lunch on the beach? awesome.

and while we had a rough go at the beginning with the boys in their classes/childcare, they had fabulous teachers and enjoyed playing with new friends.
after the conference was over our family took a train to madrid for a few days before flying home.

it was ridiculously cold in madrid. in nerja it would sometimes get up to 16 degrees in the afternoons reminding me of a warm, autumn day. but madrid? *shiver* it was -2 degrees. we had to buy scarves and hats and mitts for the boys it was so cold {and we certainly didn't bring those things with us to uganda!}. we did a bit of sight seeing and ate at mcdonalds and our last night there we bought a baguette, a huge hunk of delicious cheese and hunkered down in the warmth of our hotel room and demolished the entire thing. so. stinkin. good.
speaking our hotel, it was amazing. the staff were wonderful, the rate was cheap and the boys even got a little gift on our arrival. i highly recommend the novotel hotel in madrid, spain. and i know that the next time i go somewhere and need a hotel, i'll be checking to see if there's a novotel hotel in the area. we were also on the bus line and it only took us one bus to get into the heart of the city.

we're home now and i'm on the mend so i promise not to be a stranger and neglect this blog for so long again {if i can help it!}.

jamie's strawberry birthday cake

i think jamie and i have a new tradition for our birthday weeks. 

whoever is celebrating their birthday gets to stay in bed when the kids wake up in the morning and the other person gets the kids up. 

for the entire week preceding your birthday. 

i liked it when jamie did it for me so i did it for him (and now i'm ready to lie in bed a little longer tomorrow morning!)

today jamie turned 30.

i'm no longer in my 30's without him.

hurrah!

he didn't ask for much, but upon my questioning him, he requested a strawberry cake.

strawberry it is, babe.

ingredients:

1 3/4 cups sugar

1 pacakge (85 g) strawberry jello

1 cup butter, softened

4 eggs (room temperature)

3 cups flour

1 tbsp baking powder

3/4 tsp salt

1 cup milk, room temperature

1 tbsp vanilla

1/4 cup straberry puree/jam

prehead oven to 350F. Butter and flour pan size of choice. i have limited options here so i chose my oval glass pan.

in a medium bowl or measuring cup, combine and stire the milk, puree/jam and the vanilla. set aside.

sift and whisk the dry ingredients together in a medium bowl and set aside.

cream the sugar, jello and butter on medium speed until light and fluffy - about 5 minutes.

add the eggs, one by one, mixing well after each addition and scraping down the sides of the bowl with a spatula.

add the wet and dry ingredients to the creamed mixture, alternating between wet and dry. try not to overmix.

fill your pan(s) with batter and bake for 30-40 minutes - although if you are going with smaller pans, you will need to bake for less time. check your cake(s) at 20 minutes and once you feel it's almost ready, set the timer for 2 minute intervals.

let cool on racks for 10 minutes before loosening edges with a knife.

happy birthday to the love of my life, my best friend, fellow sojourner on this crazy adventure called life and the father to my children. 

here's to our 30's!

birthDAY

today was a good day.

i slept 'til 8am when the boys ended waking up {glory! a sleep-in!}.

i made "sprinkle pancakes" for noah's special birthday breakfast.

he still says his favourite colour is pink. so pink it is.

then he opened his presents {a brand new bike from family back in canada, a mickey mouse pop-up book and the new Cars 2 video - bootlegged of course.}.

such a big boy on his 2 (four) wheeler bike!

and we watched videos from friends and family wishing noah a happy birthday and other funny shenanigans.

i took the boys to the mall to pick up a few items we needed for his birthday dinner and he picked "bubblegum marshmallow" ice cream. of course he did!

and then we took it easy in the afternoon and i relaxed on my "no tv during the weekdays" stance and let the boys watch Cars as a set-up to Cars 2 which we had planned on watching during dinner.

it rained.

we talked to "gramma" on skype and then i made pizza for dinner and we ate it while watching Cars 2. then we had cupcakes and make-your-own ice cream sundaes with homemade hot fudge sauce, candy, sprinkles, bananas and marshmallows as toppings.

it was a good day.

so thankful for noah. he made me a mama 4 years ago.

he is bright and smiley and cuddly and long and gangly now.

he is questions and giggles and knock knock jokes.

he is sweet toothed and chocolate milk, please and glasses of water in the middle of the night.

he is racing cars and building tall towers and taping pieces of paper together to make ramps.

he is noah. my son. my first born. a small piece of my heart that walks around outside of my body.

i love you, noah. 

a perfect 30

i almost feel as though i can't even write words to do this day justice.

it was perfect.

jamie and the boys brought me breakfast in bed {okay, so i was pulling on my jeans as they walked into the room, but it's the thought that counts, right?} and then gave me a couple cards {thanks amanda for the sweet card and hilarious lollipops!}.

i came out to the living room to discover that they had put up "30" garlands everywhere {again, thanks amanda! you are one thoughtful, wonderful girl!} and the new coldplay album playing {shhh! it's an illegal copy, but jamie's buying me the real one in 3 days when it officially comes out!}. go and buy mylo xyloto when it comes out. just do it. it's freakin' awesome. i've been listening to it non stop all day long.

then i hopped in the car {yes. i am driving in kampala. this is a blog post for another day.}, cranked up the coldplay, and drove to meet my sweet friend, kelly at a wonderful french bakery called le patisserie. we had lattes and apple turnovers that had the most delicious apples inside the butteriest, flakiest pastry ever. perfection.

outside le patisserie

then we drove to friday market where we walked and talked up aisles and aisles of gorgeous african art, jewelry, musical instruments and general creativeness. 

i bought some pretties for me, an apron, a light shade to cover up the hideous florescent light fixture in our dining room and a cool wooden block thing that you can change to show the month and day for "educational" purposes for the boys. 

after a very productive shop at friday market {i'll be back.} i drove home and hung out with the boys for the afternoon and even got to have a wee nap.

also, did i mention that all this week jamie has gotten up with the boys in the morning so i can lounge in bed a little longer? i married up. just sayin'.

then jamie and the boys and i got back in the car and drove to the mall and did a bit of looking around. i got the boys some juice boxes and we waited for jamie to finish paying for the other things.

then we went over to cafe java's and i ate the most delicious curry EVER. it was their coconut fish curry and OH.MY.GOSH. it melted in my mouth. buttery, coconutty, deliciousness. 

then we ordered dessert {why yes i did pack up 1/2 my dinner so that i could still have room for their brownie sundae! how did you know?} and nick and trevor surprised me with this fantastic batik for our dining room! great job, guys!

and then, our dessert came out and all the waiters sang to me. ha! love it. sneaky, sneaky, guys. 

and then we stuffed ourselves with delicious ice cream and chocolate brownies.

{note jude's finger reaching out to nab some of my ice cream!}

easy there, big fella.

i was so blessed today. by friends a far sending me sweet messages on twitter and email and by friends here treating me to breakfast {thanks kelly!} and giving me very thoughtful gifts.

teapot from kelly, sugar bowl from our housegirl elizabeth and delicious camembert cheese from a fellow missionary, lynn {who remembered our conversation about our mutual affection for cheese.}

i wouldn't change a thing about today and my heart is full. 

*also now? i'm going to watch The Fellowship Of The Ring - per my request. happy birthday to me!

why being a mom rocks.

last week i made a little mail box for the boys and it's been a huge hit. every morning noah races out to the living room and checks in the box to see if there's any mail for him.
i don't remember to do it every day but when i do, oh he is just beyond thrilled.
sometimes it's just a note saying something i really like about him.
sometimes it's a small candy and the other day i wrapped up 2 small books - one for each of the boys that i had picked up at a book store in town.
the other day i left them little note cards and i didn't know what jude really thought of it all or if he even got it. but yesterday i heard him say "love, Mama" to himself. i looked over at him and he was holding his note card {upside down} and he said it again, "love, Mama". then he saw me looking at him and he walked over to me and held out the card for me to read to him.
oh my heart. words can't describe.

thankful.

there is so much to be thankful for;

no headache when i woke up this morning.
a new swing set for the boys!

{do you like our tire swings? i think they're cool.}

turkey dinner - the turkey was a fail {um, i had to pluck some lingering feathers. it was not a pleasant experience.}, but still...turkey! in africa! amazing.

and the pumpkin pie. how is it that the smell of something brings back memories of so many things? when i smelled this pie come out of the oven last night, i thought of autumn, thanksgiving in canada, Summit {a student retreat that we go on every year}, fall leaves and so much more. and the taste...so worth the baking, mashing, blending, straining that i did. it.was.amazing. {if i do say so myself.} my first ever pumpkin pie! from scratch. like, for real scratchy, scratch scratch.
bet you've never seen a rectangle slice of pie before! {i had no pie plate so i improvised.}

anyway, jude thought it was good enough to practically inhale. and quite frankly, i agree.

and just over a year ago i wrote this. and now we're here. amazing.

so big

hey noah and jude,

stop growing. okay?

not really. but how are you getting so big so fast?

noah you are long and tall and big and still loving cuddle-time. i love that. 

don't stop loving cuddle-time. 

i think we both forget that we need it every now and then.

and your cheeks.

they are boy cheeks.

not toddler cheeks or baby cheeks.

you're so stretchy-tall!

jude you are talking talking talking.

i'm sorry i can't always understand you.

i know one day i will and you'll be telling me amazing stories and making me laugh even more than you make me already.

you are still squishy. but you are getting so tall!

your arms and legs are so long and you can reach - um, pretty much everything i put up on the counters.

you are fearless.

still.

and jumping! real two-footed jumps!

you boys together = chaos and frustration and joy and sweet moments and separating you to two different couches and wrestling and uncontrollable giggles and brother-secrets and crumbs on the floor and yelling and hugging and driving cars and copying each other and thanking Jesus for our food and family and friends.

oh my boys. i love you.

with all my heart.

my heart is so full.

alive

ohGodohGodohGodohGod

I am going to die.

carrying 2 year old jude in my arms and halfway across a crazy downtown kampala street I realize I can't make it with most of our team. 

standing beside me is trevor, the other guy on our team and we both feel the insanity of the streets.

no traffic cops.

no stop signs.

no traffic lights.

kampala rush hour.

we just have to go for it.

eventually we see a break and go for it. a taxi van gives me a nudge {with a child in my arms at that!} and my initiation into kampala living is complete.

I am alive.

we have the week to settle in and buy things like, oh ya know, a fridge, oven/stove and couches. and maybe some hangers. and food. and a broom! 

oh settling in.

my view.

first

nothing like the first bbq of the season to welcome the warm weather.

today i took the boys on the bus, subway and street car and went to a lovely colombian cafe downtown with my sweet friend shelly.

noah grumbled through the entire meal because it wasn't the mcdonald's we had just passed but both boys gladly scarfed down the empanadas i ordered for them.

me?

i had a black bean and mozzarella arepa and it.was.delish.

if you're in the queen st. w area in toronto, check out arepa for some delish food at a good price.

also, shelly introduced me to the store fresh collective which is a bunch of local artisans who each work one day a week at the store and sell their gorgeous jewelery, clothes, etc. 

i'm in love.

(and i'm going back without kids.)

it was a lovely day. 

how was your thursday?

moving day {or the one where i vow never to rent a truck from Uhaul again!}

first, i'm glad my moving day didn't look like this:



and it definitely could have been worse {it could have rained or been super cold} but it wasn't. in fact it was the perfect day. sunny but not too hot with a cool breeze every now and then.

moving day breakfast and Noah looking as unimpressed as i felt with Uhaul

but when we still hadn't heard from Uhaul {um, how are they still operating?} and it was 8am on the day OF THE MOVE {after numerous phone calls the night before and the morning of and jamie getting disconnected once after a 20 minute hold time on the phone} i was kinda pissed annoyed.
but we made the most of it and people came over when they could and we moved everything out to the garage and drive way and then this happened:

pick up soccer

and this:

watching movies on Daddy's computer {Noah is holding an unopened roll of wrapping paper, in case you were wondering}

and some of this:

naps out in the sun

and then finally! around 4pm {FOUR PEE EM!} we got the truck and started loading it up. jude was a little freaked out about all the moving and boxes {today was we moved some boxes into my parents' attic he was totally freaking out again. poor fella. he hates boxes now.} and was quite clingy and wanting to be with jamie. this time though, i was prepared for it. noah was almost this age when we moved out of our apartment {when i was 7 months pregnant with jude!} and it was quite a traumatic experience for him so i was prepared for this kind of behaviour with jude.

the truck was bigger than we originally booked, but God is sovereign because He knew we'd need the space {sigh. we have so much more stuff than i originally thought. kinda depressing.}. and of course the kids got a huge kick out of going inside the cab and truck. 

when all was said and done, we were out and unpacked in Toronto {our temporary home until we leave for Uganda at the end of August} by around 8:30pm. 

what a day!

not how i anticipated our move to go, but thank God it's over! 

a HUGE thank you to all our family and friends who came to help pack, move, clean and support us through this move! 

{and now i'm off to read articles on the riots in Kampala and Osama Bin Laden's death - my life is good. i have much to be thankful for.}