Thoughts on the end of summer

I've kinda been avoiding "back to school" stuff. It's sad that summer break is almost over. I have had my days and moments with these three wild things, but this summer has been so good and I really just want it to last forever.

In a sense, it's been (minus the lovely heat) similar to our time in Uganda. Our family. All day, every day together. And I loved that. And this past year with the boys in school has been good, but I've missed that togetherness. So this summer has been lovely. 

And I will miss it. 

on being a school-mom

I am a school-Mama. My boys take the bus to school and so I get to meet the bus kids and parents and then I pick up my kids from school at the end of the day thereby getting to know the parents at the school. It's been fun and awkward and interesting. Interesting because all the other parents of first graders have been at the school {or a school} for the last two years. They know the routines, the teachers, the rules. But I'm the newb. It's okay, though, because I feel like I'm slowly getting the hang of things. 

Today I volunteered in Noah's class for the second time and somehow ended up in charge of making these incredibly complicated paper chain Christmas trees with the kids one-on-one. Seriously. These were hard core. I actually had to re-do one little girl's tree because I had totally done it all wrong. As my boys would say, awkward. 

But it's been good. I'm slowly figuring it out. Mainly I want to be involved with Noah's teachers, his friends and the school. I have no problems with bringing in baked goods to the office staff so I can get on their good side and be remembered. My Mom was involved at my school and while I am not nearly as extroverted as she is, I am doing my best to put myself out there and get to know the people that are seeing my kids for six hours a day. 

On Friday we have parent-teacher interviews with the boys' teachers and I'm looking forward to sitting down with them then.

On an aside, what do teachers want for Christmas? I know they probably get tons of chocolate and stuff. I love to give homemade/meaningful gifts, but I don't want to pile them with things they probably will get tons of anyway. Both boys have female teachers. 

Thoughts?

Noah's 6th

Dear Noah,

You are 6 years old. Six! You are funny and smart and tender-hearted and likeable and curious and feisty and I love you more than I really could ever express.

This year has not been easy but it's been oh-so-amazing. I've watched you conquer fears, experience transition, become a big brother for the second time, move back to Canada and start school for the first time. You're learning to read and do math. You're making friends and it does my Mama-heart so good to hear friends calling after you. You are loved and it seems obvious to me why. You are kind-hearted. You care for others and that draws people to you.

You like being silly. Whether it's having a dance party or making up jokes, you love it. You can dance with the best of them and both your brothers look to you for the best moves.

And as for being a big brother - you are totally rocking that role. Seriously, kiddo. You are such a fantastic big brother. I always wanted a big brother and you're exactly the kind I would have wanted. You are funny and sweet and helpful and loving. You selflessly give up the toy or food or position you wanted for Jude or Blaise. You're not perfect and you definitely have the skill of knowing just the right buttons to push on Jude {and in a quiet, subtle way a-la-classic-eldest-child} but I have seen you time and time again give up what you wanted - whether it's out of the kindness of your heart or because you really don't want to have to deal with Jude throwing a tantrum, you still do it.

And I love you for that.

You and I have butt heads on more than one occasion. You are strong. And stubborn. You can thank me for that some day.

But I trust and pray that your strength will not blind you to your need for Jesus. That you aren't meant to struggle through this life on your own strength, but that Jesus came for you. To walk with you through this life. That you need him and that He loves you so incredibly much. He made you, He cares for you and He's going to use you. You just have to let him.

I am so proud and honoured and blessed to be your Mama. You have taught me more in these last 6 years than I could have ever imagined and I can't wait to see where the next 6 years take us both!

I love you,
Mama

october THREE

It's still the third! I missed last month. But I'm getting my blog groove back {I think}.

These boys...

I love them so. This morning was a weird one. Jude slept 'til 8. I felt groggy the whole day. And me, Blaise and Jude stayed in our pajamas until we had to go pick up Noah from school {since he takes the bus to school now!}.

Jude and Blaise are starting to "play" together on the days that Jude is at home. Sometimes. When Jude's not totally mauling the little guy. But Blaise is starting to be able to hold his own with Jude. Nothing is off limits. Oh they've got a bright future, they do.

Blaise still lights up when he sees Noah first thing in the morning and when we pick him up from school. It's really sweet.
And they all really have a lot of fun together. When they're not fighting with each other. Such is life when you only have brothers.

My three boys. They are full of life and love and joy and crazy and sass and I wouldn't trade them for any other kids in the world!

Every month I {try} to take pictures of my boys. View past months here.

July THREE

We're back! Life is crazy but good.

I took this one of the boys in the grocery store yesterday. A bonus shot with Jamie in it.

And today Erin {my sister-in-law} took this one of the boys in the food court at the mall. Classic.

Sorry it's been so quiet around here. It's good to be back in Canada, but I'm struggling to "keep up" so am just trying to focus on the most important things {which would be people} these days.
I'll find my groove, I promise.

I take pictures of my boys on the third of each month. See past months here.

may THREE {on the 7th!}

Whoops. Time got away from me and I realized yesterday I hadn't taken my monthly picture of the boys.

Now that Blaise is full-on crawling, these pictures got a whole lot trickier. As if trying to get a good shot of three boys wasn't hard enough, now I have a crawling baby! Honestly.

Noah is super helpful and always letting me know what Blaise is doing when he thinks I'm not paying attention. It's sweet. He's always on "choking alert" patrol.

I've been spending extra time with Jude giving him cuddles and hugs and kisses. He has been a lot sweeter towards Blaise as well. He's still super INYOURFACE with Blaise but he loves giving him hugs and kisses.

How hilarious is this shot of Blaise? "How YOU doin'?" {I'm totally getting my boys to recreate this shot when they're older. Like these people did.}

I'm a Mama to three boys! Every now and then I have to say it out loud to believe it {as if my house wasn't evidence enough!}.

Every month on the third {or thereabouts} I take a picture of my three boys. You can view past months here.

three

Three boys!

I love these three. I continue to see how different they all are from each other. Day by day, new surprises and differences are revealed.
Noah and Jude both love to make Blaise smile and laugh, but Noah is sweet and tender while Jude is active and louder. Blaise already loves each of his brothers as they interact differently with him.
Blaise is full of hilarious facial expressions and is happiest when he is naked.

Noah and Jude fight a lot these days. When we were in Spain they were in different childcare groups and Jude especially really missed his big brother. It made my heart melt to see that yes! They do love each other. They might just need a break from each other more than they currently have.

These boys. My three little Wild Things.

Every month on the third, I take a picture of my three boys. Check out past months here.

brothers

every morning they argue over who will be first to hold blaise.

i suppose that's one argument i don't mind hearing. 

especially since it won't last long.

{how is my youngest baby already 7.5 weeks old!?!}

to market, to market

this morning we all decided to go out for a walk to the market to buy some bread. i put blaise in the carrier and we all headed out.

it's a bit of a jaunt but despite the boys' {fake} huffing and puffing we made it to the market {which i discovered also hosts a craft market! maybe just on wednesdays but o joy! crafts! this mama can't resist looking at all the pretty things...}.

on our way home we decided to stop in and say hi to some friends that were on furlough in the US for the past few months. we chatted with them for about an hour and then other friends dropped in on them so we decided to walk back home and have some lunch.
for some reason jude was full of energy, running up ahead of us all and not complaining about walking. he raced down the hill and up onto our front porch with noah in close pursuit of him and when i came around this is the scene i came across:

actually, this was the scene about 30 seconds after i came around the corner. jude was peeing into an old water container while noah was holding it for him. seriously. my first reaction was, "what are you doing!!!" {which hilariously made jude pull out, spray noah and then aim back into the bottle} and then jamie and i started laughing so hard. these kids. never a dull moment around here, folks.

5 things i've learned since becoming a mom: hold on

in honour of my oldest "baby" turning 5 next week {what?! how did that even happen?}, i was inspired to write about 5 things i've learned since becoming a mom.

hold on

i don't mean that we as parents should hold on in an unhealthy way. i mean hold onto those moments. those fleeting moments that may be your last with them because they've moved on to the next development. breathe in that newborn smell and close your eyes. soak it up. feel the softness of their skin, the pinkness of their feet. cherish the way your toddler wants you and only you for comfort. listen to the stories your 4 year old tells you with such imagination and attention to detail. one day they might not be as forthcoming with their thoughts and stories. hold onto those moments. hold their hands. they might not {and probably won't} want you to hold their hands forever.

blaise gets some "daddy time".

as a first time mom i was really just focusing on surviving those first few months. i had a mild case of post-partum depression and i was in a dark place. i was anxious and paranoid. it was difficult for me to hold onto those moments and yet somehow my memory of noah as a baby is far more vivid than of jude as a baby and probably than my memories of blaise as a baby will be. i'm not sure why that is {although it probably has something to do with not having two older boys to keep busy and take care of}, but i do know that i spent lots of time holding him, rocking him, crying while nursing in the middle of the night {again} and stressing over every little thing. he was my world and i focused nearly all my energies on "keeping him alive" and relishing in his every new development. this is why i smile when i see first time mom's post tons of pictures of their baby's first *insert any "first" that a baby can have* or a 10 minute video waiting for their baby to roll over. they are "holding on" to those moments and they want the world to know about this marvelous new development with "the cutest baby in the world". {because every parent thinks their child is the cutest.}

cuddles with a sick noah

as a third-time mom i am well aware of the fact that this time is precious and will fly by far more quickly than i am prepared for - and not just with blaise, but with my older two boys as well. i will not always have a three and {almost} five year old. jude will not always say "yup" in that quiet, cute way. noah will not always want or need me to read him stories. blaise is growing faster than i thought was possible.

more cuddles with a sick jude

yes, it's hard. yes, it sometimes sucks. yes, it's incredibly sanctifying to be a mother and a parent. there's nothing like a little mirror to show you all the ugliness you never knew you had in you.
God knows that i fail at this every.single.day. but regardless, it's something i've learned and continue to learn.
so hold onto your babies while they are still young. they will never want or need you like they have you now so hold onto it and remind yourself of this every.single.day. on the days when i don't remember what's really important at this stage, it's all-too-easy to get resentful for my lack of "me" time, or the way they always need me or want to tell me something or show me something and want me to play with them or read them a book. it's crazy how quickly i become self-centered when this time is so limited and my children are so precious. what is honestly more important that pouring into my children, spending time with them and teaching them? i can't think of a single thing.

and so in five years as a mama, i've learned the importance of holding on.

{three}

i have three boys! amazing.
we're still figuring out our routine but it's been nice to have jamie around and my parents arrive on sunday night.

noah is really into sonic the hedgehog racing on jamie's iPad and likes to make up stories about sonic. he also really enjoys listening to audiobooks during his quiet time. it's hilarious when he comes up to me and asks about different words or phrases that he's picked up on like, "mom? what does it mean to have a cheese that drags you around the house by your nose?" then it makes me wonder which story he got that from!

jude continues to make us laugh with his funny voices and hilarious antics. he insists on calling "Monopoly" "buh-mopowee" which i love. jamie wondered to me the other day, "i wonder what jude's voice really sounds like. he's either making up a funny voice or shouting Dora the Explorer style." it's so true.

and blaise is adorable. he's also started spitting up as the picture above shows. he spat up as i was walking him over to the blanket for this picture. oh well. c'est la vie. he's doing really well during the nighttime and last night he went almost 4 hours between feedings. pure bliss. he's conked out on my chest right now. he's a cuddler for sure. {and i love it.}

{and one more picture of blaise. cuz he's the new kid around here.}

linking up to steph who takes pictures of her 4  kids on the 4th of every month.

boy-mama

for some reason, this captured moment makes it seem so much more real. i'm a mama to 3 boys! amazing.

3

3 days in to this "mommy-of-three" gig and i'm s l o w l y getting the hang of it.
last night was our best night yet.
and my heart is bursting out of love from this little man who has so easily snuck his way into all our hearts.
there won't be too much action on this blog for a little while, but i do hope to post a couple pictures now and again while i eventually get to blaise's birth story.
so for now, here's a sampling of life these days:

threats and "the game"

threats. they seem to be quite popular in our family these days. and i'm not just talking about coming from the parental units. noah tends to threaten us to "get his way" {which he definitely doesn't when he uses threats, letmetellYOU!}.

if you don't let me have the iPad, i'm going to be really angry and throw this chair.

now we've started cutting him off if he even begins a sentence with a scowl and the words, "if you don't..." by saying, "i'm sorry, noah, but that's not how we talk to each other in this family."
he doesn't like it, and it often makes him angrier {usually}, but it's completely unacceptable to us. so no. we don't threaten.
jude has picked up on the "threat language" and uses it from time to time but our reaction is the same as well.

but jude's game with us is the yes/no game. it often happens around bedtime.
it usually goes a little something like this;

good night, jude. *lean in for a goodnight kiss*

NO KISS! NO HUG! NO!

okay, that's fine.  and we walk away.

seconds later,

I WANT A KISS! I WANT A HUG!

so we lean in to give him a kiss and get,

NO KISS! NO HUG!

so we walk away. and he demands a kiss and and hug again.

once we realized what he was doing, we decided to take him at his first word. i walk away and say good night the first time he rejects it, despite the fact that he wails and screams. and the first few times he obviously lasted longer although he does less so now. oftentimes i'll just move in for a kiss and give him lots of kisses all over his squirmy self as he giggles, but it doesn't mean that he is satisfied. he'll often still demand that he gets to give me a kiss but then falls back into "the game". at least when i walk away, i've still given him kisses. he'll just have to learn to mean what he says. he'll get it. eventually.

the same thing goes for mealtimes. he'll say he's done and get down from the table so i take away his plate and he freaks out at me saying that he wasn't done and he still wants to eat.
he knows now that if he gets down from the table, he's done. plate goes away. that's it.
he still freaks out, but at least we all know where we stand on these issues.

it's still incredibly frustrating and i despise the tantrums that follow, but after reading through this blog, i remembered that we had a rough time with noah when he turned three as well. the three's are rough around here. we just have to suck it up, stick to our word and move forward.

we have our daily {hourly} struggles around here. parenting is by no means easy with these two fantastically smart and spunky boys. just the other day i {temporarily} took away their screen time tickets for the rest of the day due to poor attitudes and meltdowns right after each of them using a ticket. i find i am far more grace-filled but i also find i am praying a lot more for patience and lowered blood pressure because these boys certainly know how to make my blood boil!

screen time tickets

last friday i posted on facebook that i had just implemented "screen time tickets" with my boys and that noah only had 1 left. for the entire week.

goodness.
i honestly anticipated more tantrums and frustration {on all our parts!} but as i type this {on wednesday} we've all been doing really well!
there will be a few new changes and alterations for our second week with screen time tickets.

as you can see each ticket is worth 30 minutes and can be used for tv, movies, daddy's iPad {one of the major sources of arguments before the tickets!} or computer.

how it works is that if the boys request to use the iPad or watch something i tell them to bring me a ticket and then choose what they would like to do. then i set the alarm on my phone and tell them when the alarm goes off, their time is done {or when a movie is done, etc. and they give the appropriate amount of tickets}.

each boy received 5 tickets last friday.
i am now planning on upping that to 6 tickets and will ration them out during the week; 3 on friday and 3 on monday. i may go back to giving them all their tickets on friday, but we'll see how the rationing goes if it seems to work for everyone.

jamie and i also discussed giving them an hour of saturday morning cartoons - as a treat for both kids and parents.
they also get one freebie of a family movie night which does not need any tickets.
noah also got a freebie ticket this week from daddy for obeying right away and with a really good attitude.

someone on facebook asked what happens if one child pays for a movie with their tickets and then the other child wants to sit in and watch. i commented that this is perfectly fine. the second child just doesn't have a say in what movie or show is being watched if they didn't contribute any tickets. over time this will hopefully lead to the boys working together to maximize their tickets and if they both want a say in the movie/show then they both need to contribute tickets.

right now both their envelopes are empty. they will stay empty until friday morning when i replenish them. we'll see how quickly they go through their initial three tickets or if they'll have learned to ration them for themselves.

overall their behaviour has been a bit better, they've played better together and have also self-initiated a lot more independent play time. hooray! oh we still have many fights every.single.day. {they are boys, after all!} but it's nice to see them being more creative and content with less screen time. kids will rise to the occasion and once again they have proven me right!

so all you need is to print off some tickets {i found mine here but there are other options for shorter amounts of time like 15 or 20 minutes or longer like 60 minutes}. i also chose to use colourful paper and then since i have no idea where i would laminate them, i used clear tape on both sides so we could re-use them.

this has been {so far} a good solution for our over-use of the tv and iPad. if you try it, let me know how it works for your family! i'll continue to update over the next few months as it's still a work in progress - and especially with the introduction of a new baby to our family soon!

on being chatty and brotherly bonding

today during noah's quiet time i lay down on the bed. he was in the living room playing with his legos.

eventually he came and joined me and jamie in our bedroom {where he usually has his quiet time}. 

he had lots to say.

usually i tell him it's a time to be on our own and not talking, but today i just listened and talked with him {while i played solitaire on jamie's iPad}. 

i don't even remember what we talked about anymore, but lots of it was observations and thoughts and comments about books and movies that he likes. 

he left the room at one point {to go to the bathroom} and i commented to jamie that one day he might not want to talk to me. actually, i think i said that one day he probably wouldn't want to talk to me. 

his comments and thoughts kept up throughout the day with the occasional sassy mouth {something we're working on}. i am loving the general openness of noah with me and jamie and his thoughts and creative ideas. he has a "drawing book" that he likes to draw things in during his quiet times and i'll need to post some more of his drawings on his blog because they really are adorable and funny.

after an early dinner {because i was going crazy from both him and jude complaining that they were hungry, hungry, hungry} we were all hanging out in the living room and baby B was kicking and moving up a storm! i called the boys over and lifted up my shirt to reveal my belly. noah was quite amazed at his movements;

he's punching you right there!

whoa! he's moving so much! 

and it was one of the first times the boys really saw and felt his movements. up until now they really haven't had the patience or interest {boldness, maybe} to feel my belly and wait for a movement, but tonight he was really active so it was a perfect moment for the boys to really understand that there's a person inside of me.

they both took turns trying to "listen" to what baby B was doing and saying hi to him and telling him their names. 

the other day noah and jude were with me and jude asked how baby B got inside me. i hesitated for a moment.

is this the beginning of "the talk"?

i explained that mommy & daddy decided we wanted to make a baby and then God is the one who makes baby B grow nice and big and strong inside of me.

noah looked confused.

so does how does God reach inside of you?

i told him that i didn't really know how exactly God makes human beings {or anything really!} but that He's able to make people and that He's the only one who can do that.

this set the boys off on talking about how big and strong God is. 

oh my boys. i love you so. i can't wait to add another little man to our fun and crazy family.

one blessed mama

i'm not sure if it's some sort of instinctual pregnancy thing {like nesting} that makes me want to scoop up my children and love on them in a way that seems to say,

life is going to change for our family. it won't just be the four of us anymore. someone else is coming into our lives and he's going to require a lot of my time and energy but that doesn't mean i'm going to love you any less.


noah's been more cuddly lately. or maybe i've just been more attuned to his needs. whatever the reason, tonight while we cuddled in the dark with no power he had some questions about the baby and i braced myself for questions like, will you stop loving me? or why weren't you happy with just us? but they never come. instead questions like, will you read to baby b, too?

yes, i answer. he'll listen to the same stories i read to you and jude.


and when you and daddy got married, was i not born yet?


i say, no. you weren't born yet. you and jude came a few years later.


i love how my sweet noah is so tender-hearted. so interested in babies and kids. so thoughtful in his questions. so accepting of this new life coming into our family.

at dinner time, jamie shows the boys his wedding ring and says that the ring means that he's married to me.
jude pipes up with, one day, i'm going to marry you all by myself!

i am one blessed mama.

fun and free resources for kids at home!

this morning involved
listening to disney songs and feeling our bodies move to the music.
exercise {for me} on the stationary bike and reading under the tuscan sun.
a brief quiet play time for the boys in their room {and a subsequent mess of cars, blocks and books covering both their beds.}
a relatively unmessy but definitely poopy accident by jude.
laundry {both washing and folding}.
a free, fun and educational activity that suited both my boys' learning levels.

this free printable can be found here  {a fantastic site. check it out!} and is all about matching colours and words in an ice cream store!
i decided to split the activity into two - noah's involved matching popsicles to the correct colour word and he really enjoyed sounding out the colours and trying to find words that matched {or at least matched the first letter}.

noah decided he wanted to tape his popsicles down after matching them to the correct words.

jude's sheet involved matching up the right ice cream scoop to the cone with the same colour on the top. i hadn't planned on this happening, but both activities fit where the boys are at exactly.

and jude decided that he wanted to glue his scoops onto the sheet.

this was a really simple and easy activity to do with both my kids and teaches about colours and fine motor skills {or at least, it ended up doing that as both wanted to affix their "cold treats" to the paper}.
and they focused on an activity.
for all of about 10 minutes.
awesome.

some other great resources for fun learning that we make the most of in our house are:

we give books - a free, online library of books that you can read to your kids just like you would a book. not as great as holding a book, but when libraries are limited {as they are here} it's a fantastic opportunity to read, read, read! my boys' current favourites are big, red lollipop {the same book we took out at a library in guelph and loved back then, too!} and max's chocolate chicken.

starfall - i mentioned this in another post, but it's a great, free website that teaches kids all about letters, phoenetics, and reading in a simple but fun way. i think it's cute to see noah maneuver the mouse and click away and hear him echo the sounds of letters.

robert munsch's free audiobooks - when i found out almost all the robert munsch books are available as audiobooks for free online, i immediately set to work downloading all of them. now it's noah's most requested thing to listen to during his afternoon quiet time. i love that he knows so many of the books i grew up reading and it's super cute to hear him reciting along with the story.

then of course there's the millions of fantastic websites and blogs that can be found by googling or looking on pinterest. my next plan is to make up some quiet time bins or bags for noah and jude that i can vary throughout the week. stay tuned for some fun ideas for that!

paper roads

we have a lot of scrap paper lying around. 

schedules, outlines for seminars, failed print jobs, etc. 

and just like that, this extremely easy idea popped into my head.

i grabbed a marker and got started drawing road "pieces" on the blank side of our scrap paper. 

the boys were intrigued and instantly wanted to know what i was doing. when i told them, they were all excited. jude ran to get a car and noah ran to get some tape to help me tape the papers together.

i told noah he could arrange the pieces however he wanted and then we could tape them together. he was a great helper.

they both loved the parking lot i drew at first so i drew another. and a gas station. then i started decorating the sides although they could have cared less about the trees and parks and swimming pools. but if you have kids who are really into drawing, this could give you even more time!

both boys played for at least an hour. happily. jude sometimes walked on the paper and scrunched it slightly, but no harm was done. 

and it didn't have to be perfect. some of the roads didn't line up, but the boys were so thrilled for this "make your own town" that they weren't giving out marks for perfection. 

it's a fantastic activity requiring very little materials and a great diversion for kids who like watching tv just a little too much. sure you can buy those cool rolls of tape that are already marked like a road, but that's a lot more money for the same thing that will likely be enjoyed equally. if not less? 

seek

we went on safari. it was lovely. but exhausting.

sometimes i feel like i'm in this stage with my two little fellas that is priceless. they play well together. they play well unsupervised. they are creative and funny and cute and absolutely lovable.

and then i feel the complete opposite of that. they fight nonstop. they sass back. they don't obey and they feed off of each other's bad behaviour. they are all the time physically fighting, fighting, fighting. 

how can two boys be so sweet and so devilish all at the same time?

my advice to those with young children (especially boys): take them to the zoo. not on safari. my kids were just there for the snacks. (seriously though, there were some fun moments on safari, but i stand by my advice. the zoo is better for little kids.)

it's a hard stage. but a good one. and i have to remind myself that this too shall pass. the adorable moments of this youth and the hard, difficult moments of training and correcting. 

being pregnant with two very stubborn and very lively little boys is tiring. but i'm seeking two things;

1. that i would abide in Christ. fully. and nonstop. i fail. but it is something i am striving for.

2. that i would be joy-filled. in the hard. and the ugly. in the laughter-filled. and in the quiet moments of contemplation. that i would find joy. 

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

John 15:9-11