an update and what I want my bedroom to look like

A little update, shall we?

He's sick. Again. Not sure how he got sick exactly, but the runny nose is ever present and always increased in stuffiness at night. As if we needed another hurdle to overcome when it comes to sleep. {In other news, I am so tired.}

The sugar-free thing is going pretty well. I did have some chocolate last week after a particularly rough day and Jamie and I were having a night in. I've discovered a small business here that makes the most amazing Greek yogurt. So I've been making Greek yogurt popsicles, blending up pineapple and banana with a tiny bit of honey and yogurt. Mmmm, so good.

Things are coming together with some arrangements for when we get back to Canada. We've got some temporary housing set up with our dear friends and we've been pre-approved for a mortgage! Hoorah! So now we hunt online and my friend Jen is going to check out some places for us.

I've been pinning ALL THE THINGS and have decided I want a white bedroom. Full of texture and various shades of white/cream/grey...oh it's going to be so fresh and lovely.

Source: lovelyclusters.tumblr.com via Vanessa on Pinterest

Source: hometowngirl.typepad.com via Vanessa on Pinterest

Source: 4.bp.blogspot.com via Vanessa on Pinterest

Source: thenowbook.tumblr.com via Vanessa on Pinterest

Aren't they lovely?

I think so. The best thing about white is you can bleach it and it comes out looking oh-so-lovely and new again. 

So I'm on Pinterest. And looking at real estate listings. And making lists. I love lists.

And it's almost midnight. Gah. This is a contributing factor to me not getting enough sleep. A small factor, but one nonetheless.

{There's so much more going on in my brain to do with sleep in older children and judging Moms and hospitality and tons of things that are going on here in Uganda. But I can't quite make them coherent enough to post here.}

4 months

Dear Blaise,

You are 4 months old! One third of a year old. How did that even happen?
As I type this, I have briefly rocked you but then put you down in your crib still awake, but sleepy. You are falling asleep on your own. Sometimes. Oh sleep. The theme of this month. The theme of every month.

We started {again} doing some sleep training trying to help you fall asleep on your own at night. You are doing pretty well but I am a far cry from the Mama of your older brother - strict and by the book. I go in to help you multiple times - usually just to pop the soother back in and shush you for a bit until you quiet down. Slowly-by-slowly you will get there. I know one day I will wake up and have slept more than 3.5 consecutive hours. Or maybe that's just a dream. Lately I've just given up and have nursed you whenever you've woken up which usually ends up being every 3ish hours. Whatevs.

Your hair is getting taller {longer?} and it stills garners the most comments from strangers when we do happen to go out and about.
You weigh 16lbs5oz and handled your immunizations yesterday like a champ. You are wearing 3-6 & 6 month onesies but 9 month sleepers! I think it's because you're so long. You're somehow a combination of your brothers - bulkier {husky as Old Navy calls it I think} like Noah was as a baby, but also still really long like Jude was.

You can roll both ways! You are always twisting around and rolling around in your crib - preferring to sleep on your left side {as we are now officially swaddle-free!}. I was reading a breastfeeding book and the fact that you prefer this and it brings you the most comfort, makes me wonder if you have a slight case of reflux. You are definitely a spitter. This morning was no exception {this picture was taken first thing and already, less than 2 hours later, you are wearing a different outfit. Much thanks goes out to my dear friend Jen Hill for the adorable bow tie.} but I make it a rule to always have a receiving blanket with me when I pick you up. But back to the rolling. You will be sitting up and then crawling and then walking before I know it. You are a mover, that much is clear. You LOVE being on your tummy and think it's play time when you're on your tummy despite me hoping that sleeping on your belly might help you sleep better. Oh well.

You are now reaching out for things and grabbing toys, bringing them to your mouth and gnawing away on them. You often will clasp your hands together and often do this when trying to soothe yourself to sleep. Sucking on your soother, hands clasped together in front of you. It's cute.

You are a soother baby. I think the soother is sticking around. It helps you fall asleep and while you like sticking your hands in your mouth, I think it's less soothing and more exploratory for you. I can't wait until you can reach around in your crib yourself and find it and stick it back in your mouth when it falls out.

You are already watching us as we put things in our mouths. Seriously. Already!?! You will be ready for solids in a couple months. I'll hold off until at least 6 months, but it might be tough with the way you watch us and mimic the way we move our mouths when we chew.

Your face lights up into a huge smile when you first glimpse your brothers. You love your brothers and are always trying to be in the best position to watch their crazy antics.

We are going to Spain in 1 week and I am so excited! I think you are going to LOVE it and love being pushed around in a stroller. I'm hoping for a smooth transition with the time difference {only an hour I think} not that you are sleeping through the night or giving me anything more than 3.5 hours at a time {really? Are you trying to kill me or something?}. It's a good thing you're so stinkin' cute.

You are babbling. I adore your babbles. And you love talking away to me on your change table while grabbing your toes. I love it when babies find their toes/feet and you are no exception. You will grab on and just chatter away. Adorbs.

You've recently gone {still going through?} through a growth spurt, wanting to nurse every 2-2.5 hours at points during the day. You, my little Blazer, are my most difficult baby but we are surviving. Your Daddy and I are becoming a stronger team as we have moved from man-to-man to zone defense. You and your brothers are giving us a run for our money, but we love you so so so much and can't imagine you  not in our family.

I love you.
Mama

watch Blaise grow!

a gobblety goop of things

it's been a good week. but it hasn't been an easy week.

we're currently experimenting with not swaddling blaise for his naps. he sleeps no better, but no worse. we'll see how it goes.

blaise got his 2 month immunizations on tuesday. he's been a bit irritable during the days. thankfully still sleeping really well at night.
i'm tired. and most days i feel like i fail more than i succeed. but there's grace. and strength.
i'm feeling a bit lonely and missing face-to-face conversations with people who know me and love me and understand me. but there's grace. and strength.

i had a bit of an ache in my heart the other day as we drove the streets of kampala. i was thinking about how i'll miss living here when we leave. i'm very much excited for the day we return to canada, but right now? kampala is home for us. and there are many things i'll miss about living here. {noah remarked to me almost seconds after i thought this that he is glad we're moving back to canada because the streets are bigger and don't have pot holes. yeah. that'll be nice.}

i crocheted a scarf. it's incredibly soft and thick. and warm. much too warm for here. but i'm saving it for when we go to spain in january.
you can find the pattern here.

i haven't exercised all week {tired much?} and i've been scarfing down chocolate. holding crying babies makes me crave chocolate.

jamie challenged me/us to watch all our christmas movies this year. we figured out that we have 22. so far we've watched five.

our tree is up. the stockings are hung. we're listening to christmas music. and i'm loving watching the boys act out the christmas story with their little people nativity set. the other day i heard noah yelling at jude: LET US IN! WE NEED A ROOM!!! LET US IN OR I'LL PUNCH YOU!
i looked over and found that he was holding mary and joseph and jude was holding one of the wise men. i think maybe he was supposed to be the innkeeper. i'm not quite sure that's how it all went down, but i like jospeh's protective and assertiveness.

a wasp flew into our living room the other day. as it was flying around, it got stuck in a spider's web. i have never seen a daddy long legs {or whatever this african equivalent is called} move so quickly! seriously. the spider was on that wasp so fast. but the wasp got free and we eventually "swooshed" it outside again.

i would like to sleep for the entire weekend. but that's not going to happen.
there are so many good things in my life. but life is not always easy. no matter your stage in life or where you live.
wishing you a wonderful weekend! {and a happy thanksgiving to all my american friends and readers!}

a new era

remember my share the love blog posts? remember when i blogged about my love for our sound machine{s}?
yesterday i was commenting to my friend, aletha, that i love our sound machines. if there's any "sleep crutch" i've leaned on heavily, it's been sound machines. my kids have done so well sleeping on the go, in different places and i credit the sound machine largely for their flexibility. it's just a small piece of "familiar" that we can take with us.
anyway
so i went to turn on the sound machine yesterday for jude's nap and

nothing.

the green light went on, but no sound came out. jamie thinks it was likely the result of a power surge.
RIP sound machine. i tried our other sound machine but jude didn't like the sound of it {he's in a scared stage these days.} so i scrapped it.

which brings us to our current situation.
no sound machine. *sob* but we're heading into the hot/dry season so fans will soon become a necessity for us. we have one small desk fan that i used in the boys' room last night and it was a success. they slept well and even slept 'til a decent hour!
i knew this day would come someday and i think it's good for the boys to get used to no white noise in the background. i know they can both sleep without it as they've done so before {and noah is an especially heavy sleeper so i have no worries with him} so here's hoping the rest of this transition is just as smooth as last night was.

there and back

I love road trips.

I always have.

Before we had kids, Jamie and I drove across Canada, down through the states to Florida and also to visit friends in South Carolina. We've driven to Chicago with Noah and we've done shorter trips with both boys. 

We really wanted to visit our friends in South Carolina and spend some time with them as whenever they come up to Canada, their time is mainly spoken for by their family (as it should be).

So we left last Monday. In the past, we've just taken a day or so to travel, but this time we decided to try driving through the night.
We left at 8pm and this was Jude

And this was Noah

Oh my boys. So so so different from each other.

Anyway, I didn't pack the little DVD player this time (partially by accident) and no one missed it or asked for it. Love it. (We don't use it much anyway.)

The boys did great on the drive down and were cute and funny whenever we'd stop for gas - all of a sudden they'd wake up and squint from the ridiculously bright lights and point out trucks or whatever they happened to see.

We got to Florence, South Carolina at 11:30am and unpacked and settled in.

It was a great 5 days with our dear friends, having many conversations and laughs in the evenings after the kids were in bed and breaking up fights watching the kids play during the day. (In all seriousness, Noah and Leah played great together, it was my wild child, Jude who kept terrorizing poor baby Steven. *insert Mommy lesson of choosing to teach and instruct your child, rather than be embarrassed and ashamed of them* *also insert a heaping helping of humble pie - it's hard to be the Mother of a "hitter"*)

We also went to the beach and while it started off with a brutal nauseous migraine for me, the wonder-drug ibuprofin kicked in about halfway through our day and I was able to enjoy our time there. 

It's always so refreshing to spend time with good friends and for a short time to be able to "do life" together. {Now if only we could get them to move to Uganda with us!}

Our trip home started a little earlier with us leaving at around 5:30pm and getting back to Toronto at 8:30pm yesterday morning but I think we all had a much more rough time. I couldn't sleep until 2am or so just being kinda stiff and uncomfortable and the boys slept for most of it, but Noah was awake from around midnight 'til 2am (that and he didn't fall asleep until 9:30pm made for a tired boy tonight at 6pm when he was about ready to fall asleep in his dinner!). Also, at 3am Noah woke up and asked for sunglasses because the street lights and car lights in oncoming traffic were hurting his eyes. So there he sat, with my big purple sunglasses on and his fuzzy green neck pillow. This kid cracks me up.

All in all, it was wonderful. We got a taste of summer weather, time to spend with lovely friends and a fun family vacation. 

Perfection as far as I'm concerned.

weekend update

so apparently we're only through half of the weekend, but I feel like my weekend has been so full already and seeing as I how I haven't posted a picture in a few days, here's a 2-in-1 for ya.

today my mom and I went to London for a baby shower for my cousin. we got to meet her brand-new daughter, peyton. she is such a sweetie and yes - my ovaries were totally itching.

here's my mom taking in her great-niece in all her pink cuteness

when we got home my dad (who was watching the boys as jamie was out at a work dinner tonight) said that noah had wanted to sleep on the mattress in the office so that's where he was.

i walked into the office to get a few of my mom's things that she had left in there to the strong stench of poop. ugh.

noah woke up and said,

there were two grandpas out there and now they turned into a mom.

I laughed and said that yes, I was home now. (I have no idea what the "two grandpas" mean!) I asked him if he had pooped in his pull up (what the? he never does this!) and he said that yes, he had. 

so I changed him but of course he was wide awake now and asked if he could read some books. 

so I weighed my options and decided that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I read him a story or two. 

I brought in a few books and said he could pick two for me to read to him and he said that he wanted to read them by himself.

so I said that he could but that when I came back it would be time for bed.

when I peeked in his room a few minutes later this is what I saw

it absolutely melts me to see that my kids have such a love for books - seriously. I love it.

so now my boys are asleep. jamie just got home. my throat still hurts and we're sharing a bit tomorrow at church about our move to Uganda and both boys are sick. I'm not sure how it's all going to work out, but we'll figure it out.

sleep

lately while jude naps, i'll read in my bed with noah. he "reads" his book, and i read mine {currently re-reading harry potter and the order of the phoenix}. after he's done with his book he'll quietly whisper or sing to himself {today he was doing some sort of bed-gymnastics} and then he quiets down and falls asleep within seconds. {jealous.}

it's really sweet. 

i enjoy these quiet moments with him.

midnight play date

i switched noah's bed around so the head board is against the wall. i like it better this way.

jude woke up at around midnight last night, crying softly.

i was just getting ready for bed {because i have yet to make it to bed before midnight this year} so i went in and almost fell over from the stench that hit me as i walked in the door.

now which boy to check?

i guessed it was jude since he was quietly crying. i picked him up - he was burning up - and smelled him. bingo!

so i lay him down to change him and he was happy enough, talking quietly and pointing to a toy train that he saw.

after i gave him some tylenol for his fever and put him back in his crib.

i settled noah and then left and went to bed.

i lay in bed and could hear jude talking away:

mama! yeah! dada! ah! *giggles* 

noah was quietly talking {i later heard him saying he wanted a kleenex so i had to go back in} and i thought, 

what is this? a play date in the middle of the night? 

but it was so sweet to hear them happily talking to each other instead of wailing away. 

it's official. we are one sick household. but at least the boys are in good spirits. so far jamie and i have escaped it, so we're loading up on liquids and vitamins in the meantime.

Relapse

I totally blogged too soon.

No joke, that night Noah called out for me a 1/2 hour after I put him down saying he was "scared" but then didn't know what he was scared of. So I sat in the room with him until he fell asleep (about 35 minutes - or at least he was quiet when I left the room).

The next night he screamed. And screamed. And screamed some more so I had to take Jude out of the room (as he was now awake and crying) and put him in the office in the pack 'n play.

Noah proceeded to scream and cry and call out for just over 2 hours when he finally fell asleep.

Naps have also been accompanied with screaming and crying and calling out.

Tonight Jamie is putting him to bed and he is now testing Jamie's endurance by actually getting OUT of bed and screaming. (Stay with it, Jame! You can do it!) So Jamie is not talking to or looking at Noah as he continues to put him back in his bed.

It's a FULL ON RELAPSE.

Interesting because a friend of mine also started "the sleep rules" with her daughter around the same time we did with Noah and she totally went through the relapse a couple days ago. So we are pushing through this and hopefully we will come out on the other side with some firmly established, healthy sleep habits.

If there's one thing I've learned with kids...they like to change it up and keep things real.

(And also, we are more persistent than they are.)

Noah's sleep update

Just an update on Noah's sleep issues:

Ever since we put in place Noah's sleep rules and his sleep chart, he has been doing amazing!

Every single night he's gone to bed with no fuss and quietly slept until the morning. The stickers and the "treats" are a huge incentive and although he still gets confused about when he gets his treat, I think it's really working.

He's got two more rows of stickers to fill up and then I think we'll use the chart for something else.

Also, every nap and bedtime I ask him what his sleep rules and he says:

Stay in my bed.

Close my eyes.

Be quiet. Sh Sh Sh.

It's really sweet and cute the way he says it. Maybe some day I'll catch it on video.

I'm really proud of him and so happy for how this has really worked for all of us!

New Sleep Strategy

Sleep.

I think every Mom has "their thing" with their kids. {PS it's usually sleep.}

Sleep is mine. Always has been.

I know that when I have no plan with my approach to my kids' sleep, I feel out of control and frustrated and sometimes angry and resentful. And I don't like feeling any of those things.

Lately Noah has been resisting sleep and screaming and just recently has been getting out of his bed and when I don't respond to him, will bang the door and open it a small crack.

A few nights ago I made the mistake of bringing Noah into my bed when Jamie was away for the weekend and ever since he screams and cries that he wants to sleep in my bed.

So last night as I left Noah he started the screaming. And the anger. And the hitting of the door.

I had just started reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and had read Weissbluth's suggestion to silently put your child back in his bed with no acknowledgement to the child, positive or negative and continue to do so until they stay in bed.

So with Noah banging away on the door I decided to try this silent response to his fury.

He initially was put down around 7:30pm and didn't end up quieting down until just before 9pm. It took me over 100 times of putting him quietly and gently back in his bed.

At one point I realized it was almost like he was asking over and over again, "Where are my boundaries?" because he wasn't fighting me putting him back in bed. He would even be lead by the hand back into his bed and crawl in himself!

Once I realized this I just kept saying to myself, "He's asking where the boundary is and I'm showing it to him. This is the best thing for him." And it was and is the best thing for him.

Today he slept 'til 8am and was a generally happy and well behaved boy today.

Tonight when it was bedtime I sense he would fight it again, so I brought out another strategy that Weissbluth suggests; Sleep Rules.

I told Noah that tonight would be the start of Noah's Sleep Rules and there were 3:

1. Stay in your bed.

2. Close your eyes.

3. Be very quiet.

If he obeys all three rules he will get to put a sticker on his chart and when he gets 5 stickers, he gets to pick a treat!

His response:

"Okay! Let's do it, Mama!"

I smiled and wondered if he understood completely that he wasn't getting the treat TONIGHT, but sure enough, he cuddled into his blanket and though he asked for the light to remain on, when I said "No." he didn't scream or anything. And when I left

SILENCE.

So one night down. Well, at least the early part of the night.

We'll see how the rest of the night and the next few days go.

the one where I give a rave review

When I find something that I love, that works amazingly and that I can stand by I tell everyone about it.

I'm not a salesperson by nature, but when I'm passionate, when I really believe in something...well, I kinda don't shut up about it.

(So here goes...)

When Noah was first born we swaddled him. At first we did it because that's what we thought we were supposed to do. But he soon proved to be Houdini Jr. The kid could get out of ANYTHING. He would wriggle his hands out and then slap himself in the face. And then wake himself up. Which would wake me up. And then we'd all be cranky. So we continued to swaddle, but I obviously needed something that would keep him swaddled throughout the entire night.

So when in my desperation for more sleep I went looking online for something to help and I stumbled upon the Miracle Blanket.
Really? MIRACLE??? Isn't that a bit much?

But I decided to go ahead and buy it.

And I didn't regret it. It actually kept Noah swaddled! Which helped him to sleep longer! It was a miracle!

I'm pretty sure I talked about it a lot to every other new parent at the time. And then he got too big for it and he eventually learned to stop slapping his face (this was probably around 4.5 months I think).

Then came Jude. He was much more laid-back than Noah (less face-slappy) but we continued to swaddle until my long guy outgrew the Miracle Blanket and kicked his legs free.

I like the Miracle Blanket because it's soft, it's one piece of material and there aren't any buttons, zippers, velcro or any other potentially dangerous materials that could hurt or irritate a newborn's skin. And it keeps babies swaddled, which is proven to help babies sleep better (think about it, they were all cozy and tight in your belly for 9 months and they did just fine in there!).

If you're a new Mom, I would HIGHLY recommend you check their website with all the details and even a little video of how the blanket works. (And then go buy it. Because seriously? It WORKS.) And right now they even have a 10% off summer sale and if you buy 2 or more, it's 15% off!

*Disclosure: While I was sent a free Miracle Blanket, money or giveaways cannot buy my opinions. I love the Miracle Blanket and would still rave about it had I not received anything. (Psst, my lovely friend and new Mommy, Ashley was the lucky recipient of a beige Miracle Blanket.)

sleep routines and fireworks

When Noah was little, I was pretty rigid with his schedule. This was for all our benefit. At about 2 months he started fighting naps and sleep and we were spending hours trying to get him to sleep. When he wouldn't nap, he'd be cranky and miserable (which would make ME miserable). So we did sleep training and then we stuck to the sleep schedule as if our lives depended on it (because, at the time, it seemed like they did). He always went to bed on time (if we could help it) and I rarely kept him up late.

When we went to Africa (Noah was 6 months old) I still managed to keep to his schedule, but started to loosen up a bit. And then when we went to Ireland (on our way home from Africa - Noah was 7.5 months) the schedule went out the window. We had 4 days to see and do all we wanted to so Noah went to bed later and napped on the go. Those 4 days taught me so much and proved that all our hard work was not in vain as Noah was now a much better sleeper, and easily fell back into a good sleep routine when we got home. He adjusted amazingly to time differences and traveled fantastically.

All that to say, we have come a long way in the whole sleep routine department. I know the value in having a routine, but I'm not as strict and from time to time, we'll keep the boys up for something worthwhile (but I still highly value our routine as I know it's best for the boys and ME who has to deal with the consequences of grumpy, sleepy boys the next day, sometimes even 2 days later!).

June 30th we were invited to watch fireworks with some friends from church who live in our neighbourhood. They weren't supposed to happen until dusk so I actually put the boys to bed at their normal times and then woke them up just after 9pm (although that was a hard task as they were both out cold!). Jude woke up and was peppy and perky as if he had napped a full 8 hr sleep. Noah was quiet and a bit dopey.

We got to the park where the fireworks were going to happen and it was so much fun! Free chips and juice and tons of kids running around. It was some kind of bizarro world where kids play in the park at nighttime!

Neither of the boys had experienced fireworks before and so we waited to see what their reactions would be.

The first firework went off.

Bang! Pop!

They both started crying.

I knew they would.

Jude started to calm down a bit, but Noah's cries were fearful and slightly screamy. So Jamie took Noah into the house and watched from there while Jude and I sat with our friends. It was adorable to watch Jude's squinty eyes taking it all in. When the flashing lights and loud pops got too much for him, he'd look away. And then he'd look back.

Noah still talks about the fireworks and says that he didn't like them because they were "too loud". Poor fella. But he sure had fun afterward as he played with his friend William at William's house.

It was fun and I'm glad we did it!

Bed Update 4.0

The last few nights have been okay.

Noah didn't fall out of bed last night, but he did wake briefly at 1am so I went in and calmed him down from whatever woke him up. (I don't even remember now - I think he went right back to sleep basically.)

But tonight he fell out at about the same time as he did the first night. I picked him up and he just lay on my shoulder. I put him back into bed and he was all quiet - didn't say a word, just sighted and then I could hear him breathing as I covered him with his blankets. Not sure if he was still half asleep or what, but hopefully he falls right back to sleep for the rest of the night.

I wonder if around 11:30 is when his sleep goes from restless to deep night sleep so while he's moving about and stirring is when he ends up falling out of the bed. Interesting. Perhaps I'll go in around 11 and check on him and make sure he's fully in his bed - if I remember.

Oh and naps have been fine. He goes down okay (although I have been hearing him talk and sing away to himself for about 15 or 20 minutes) and sleeps fine. The last couple days have been shorter naps, but his naps always vary depending on the day. Anywhere from about an hour to almost 2 hours - it really just depends on the day.

Bed Update 3.0

Tonight was night two of Noah sleeping in a bed.

He fell out.

I heard a *thump* in the middle of the Survivor Reunion show (my life = exciting!) and immediately I ran upstairs to find Noah sitting on his bum beside his bed. He was a bit shaken up, but calmed quickly in my arms. When I asked him if anywhere hurt he said "yes." and then when I asked him where it hurt he said, "Ummmmmm" which means there wasn't anywhere specifically that hurt. Funny boy. So we put him back to bed and left.

But then about 30 minutes later I heard "Mama. Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." quietly coming from his room. So I went up and of course he was all about coming downstairs and playing with his toys and was getting quite upset when I told him it was nighttime, time for bed and that we could play with his toys tomorrow.

*sigh*

Then he said, "I wanna cuddle."

*my heart*

So of course I cuddled up with him on the bed (I couldn't do this with him in his crib!) for a few minutes and then kissed his head and came back downstairs.

He's still talking from his room and wanting to go in "Mommy & Daddy's bed" but I'm hoping he stays put and falls asleep sooner rather than later.

Bed Update 2.0

He did it! He slept all the way through the night on the first try!

I did go in before I went to bed to check on him and found him out cold right against the edge of the bed.

He didn't wake up until 7:30 this morning and then I heard him calling for me. As soon as I stepped in, he hopped right off the bed with a big smile on his face.

So cute.

One night down...the rest of his life to go.

Bed Update 1.0

It didn't take me long to put together Noah's bed this morning.

And now he's taking a nap in it.

He got into his bed without any fuss or complaint and stayed there and it's been about an hour so far. So I'm pretty happy about the first nap going so well. We'll see how tonight goes.

I hear that it takes a couple weeks for some kids to "get it". As in, that's when they realize that they can actually get OUT of their bed and that is when the trouble starts.

But we'll just take it one day at a time and see how it all pans out.

Here's Noah sporting some attitude beside his new bed:

so tired I can't think of a title

It's been a good week, but I'm officially worn out.

Jamie's been gone since last Saturday afternoon and we miss him!

We're all sick now (boo) but it's not too bad (yet). Just runny noses and sneezing. And sore throats. And a bit of coughing. But it's not as bad as it sounds! Honest!

Today I wanted to sleep all day and practically did. I managed to nap during Jude's morning nap/Noah's blanket time and then again during their afternoon naps.

It's 9:15pm and I'm ready to call it a night.

hey sleep...where'd ya go?

I'm finally doing it. I am done nursing in the night. Done.

2 nights ago it was 1am, 3:30am and 5:45am - and then 8am. Do I have a newborn or a 9 month old?
Honestly.

Last night there was a wake up at 1:30, but it was short-lived and he fell back to sleep. Then a feeding at around 3am and then I can't even remember if there was a 5 or 6am one but then he was up around 7:45 for the day.
Ugh.

So yesterday I took Jude for his 9 month check up with the doctor and he is 21lbs! She said he doesn't need to be fed in the middle of the night which I agreed with and already knew. We talked about how with the second or subsequent child we do whatever it takes to either a) get back to sleep as fast as possible or b) not wake up the other child(ren). Hence the subsequent child(ren) don't usually sleep "through the night" as early as the first child with which we were single-minded in our quest to make sure we are teaching our child good sleep habits and sleeping through the night is the ultimate goal (as opposed to maintaining the peace at all costs).

So she said I can either just keep doing what I'm doing until I'm ready to let him cry a little.

And I'm ready.

I actually had a bit of an epiphany, though. I don't have to FULLY let him cry it out. What if I just go in and hold him for a couple minutes and then put him back down? What if?

So this was tested already (yeah, it's midnight and I'm still up. What's it to ya? I blog best late at night!) as Jude woke around ... 11 (?) tonight and so I let him cry. He stopped after a few minutes on and off (his typical style). I got ready for bed and heard him making noises as I got into bed at around 11:30. He cried. He stopped. He laughed (?). He cried. He stopped. Long pause. He cried again. Working himself up.

So I go in. He's on his belly. I pick him up, and rock him. He resists at first and tries to suck on my arm.
Haha...this is funny to me.

I do some soft "shushing" noises and keep rocking him slowly. He relaxes but stares up at me. The kid just doesn't fall asleep in my arms. Meh.

So he's calm but awake.
I put him down and give him his "bunny". He whimpers for a second and then the fingers go in the mouth and - dang. He's crying again. He would.

ANYWAY

He WAS quiet and calm. But no longer.

So we'll see how tonight goes.

I think I'm going to need a large cup of coffee tomorrow morning.

Good thing I bought French Vanilla flavour.
Mmm...

Why post pictures of my sleeping baby?

Because this is probably the cutest thing you're going to see all day.