weekend update

so apparently we're only through half of the weekend, but I feel like my weekend has been so full already and seeing as I how I haven't posted a picture in a few days, here's a 2-in-1 for ya.

today my mom and I went to London for a baby shower for my cousin. we got to meet her brand-new daughter, peyton. she is such a sweetie and yes - my ovaries were totally itching.

here's my mom taking in her great-niece in all her pink cuteness

when we got home my dad (who was watching the boys as jamie was out at a work dinner tonight) said that noah had wanted to sleep on the mattress in the office so that's where he was.

i walked into the office to get a few of my mom's things that she had left in there to the strong stench of poop. ugh.

noah woke up and said,

there were two grandpas out there and now they turned into a mom.

I laughed and said that yes, I was home now. (I have no idea what the "two grandpas" mean!) I asked him if he had pooped in his pull up (what the? he never does this!) and he said that yes, he had. 

so I changed him but of course he was wide awake now and asked if he could read some books. 

so I weighed my options and decided that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I read him a story or two. 

I brought in a few books and said he could pick two for me to read to him and he said that he wanted to read them by himself.

so I said that he could but that when I came back it would be time for bed.

when I peeked in his room a few minutes later this is what I saw

it absolutely melts me to see that my kids have such a love for books - seriously. I love it.

so now my boys are asleep. jamie just got home. my throat still hurts and we're sharing a bit tomorrow at church about our move to Uganda and both boys are sick. I'm not sure how it's all going to work out, but we'll figure it out.

three

today i watched my friend suzanne's son, jacob for a couple of hours.

jamie commented to me,

three isn't so hard. we could totally do three. 

(my evil plan is working...)

thoughts about lent

I didn't grow up practicing or participating or even really knowing about Lent. 
I'm not sure when I heard about it, but for the past few years I've started to look more into it and sometimes I give something up - or at least attempt to. 
For some reason this year my heart has been inclined toward Lent; to make it count, to prepare my heart and focus on Jesus and the suffering he took on for me. 
Upon doing some more research I found that there is more to Lent than just "giving something up". Wikipedia says that "there are three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent; prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour)."

Recently the pastor at our church spoke about the discipline of fasting and how it's a gift to us as Christians to practice this and rely on the Holy Spirit. It's something that's assumed of us as Christians (Matthew 6:16 says "when you fast..." not if, but when.) and it's something that Jesus himself did. I don't regularly fast, but I'm seriously considering making it a part of my life whether on a monthly or seasonal basis, I'm not sure yet. But it's something I felt the Holy Spirit saying to me, "Listen to this. Pray and seek me on this.". And so I'm going to. 

According to Wikipedia, justice (referring back to Wikipedia's definition of Lent) is the concept of moral rightness based on some form of ethics or law and that punishment occurs when there is a breach of those ethics. 
Romans 3:28 says that we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from works of the law so I know that I have already been justified, but I do like the idea of focusing on God, myself and my neighbour in a way that is more purposeful and deliberate.
So with all that, here is what I'm aiming for during this time of Lent.


I'm giving up sugar - nothing like giving up all breads or not eating fruit, but candy, sweets, desserts, sugary cereals or other sugary breakfast items will be what I'm focusing on fasting from.
I also really want to focus on my bible reading plan: for slackers and shirkers - I've been coming and going with it and I really want to make a concerted effort to stick with it, rely on God and seek him during this time for my contentment and fulfillment.
I want to be in prayer for specific things: 
1. God's will and plan for our family as it relates to expanding it. We're not there yet, but it's something I continue to think and dream about on a daily basis. I want to be at peace with whatever He has in store for us. 
2. the Orphan crisis and my/our role in it. 
3. my husband and my children. Especially for this next transition and phase in our lives. 
4. specifically for Noah and how incredibly strong-willed he is. how to teach and instruct him. for wisdom to take the necessary steps to guide him and to know what those steps are and for the Holy Spirit to bind the spirit of defiance and stubbornness in him but without breaking his spirit.


As for "almsgiving", I'm still not sure exactly where or what God would have me do during the next 40 days (Lent starts this Wednesday) but I think my eyes will be open and I will be praying for opportunities and I know God is always waiting to present us with opportunities to be His eyes and ears, his hands and feet and to speak words of Love and Truth into peoples' lives if we are only willing to be open and step out in faith.

So, are you done having kids?

I remember sometime after Noah was born and after I got through those hazy, sleep-deprived, anxious, PPD first few months waking up and thinking

I want another one.

Immediately followed by

Am I crazy?

I think it's partly a natural instinct to want to continue to expand your family - on multiple levels - but it's quite possibly that I was crazy due to sleep deprivation. Either way, sometime just before Noah's first birthday Jude was on the way.

Surprisingly it hit me again after Jude was born. This time I know exactly what was driving it - hurry up and get out of this newborn stage as fast as I can. Let's just pop out one (two? three?) more and get it over with.

Then I came to my senses. For now.

I'd LOVE more kids, but I also want to take time to just enjoy being a family of 4. I'm still pretty young and there's plenty of time to have more kids - whether biological or adopted or both. I also want to take some time to let my body adjust and become its new "normal".

I read somewhere that it takes TWO YEARS for your body to fully regulate and transition from being pregnant to not. No wonder it's taking my body so much longer to "bounce back" after having a 2nd child in 2 years.

Anyway, having a child right away to get a certain stage "over with" is not a good reason either. So for now, we are a really happy family of 4. Plus, if we had another kid we'd have to get a bigger vehicle. And I'm not ready to be a minivan-Mom. *shudder* (No offense to those of you who are minivan-Moms. I know you love your vans. I'm just not there yet. But I will be. I know I will. Just not.right.now.)

Now a lot of my friends who have one child are thinking of having another, trying to have another or are already pregnant with their second (or they're just going ahead and getting pregnant with twins! :D). It's easy to see now that though I did "miss" a lot with Noah being so young when I got pregnant again (and after Jude was born a lot is quite blurry in the memory department - thank God for pictures and videos!), both his life and Jude's life are so much richer because of each other.

I also have to remember what that felt like - to want another child to be close in age to my first born. And how at the time, I thought "Yeah, it'll be hard. But so what? We'll get through it." And I'm betting every other Mom contemplating having a second feels exactly the same way. And no amount of me telling them every horror story or complaining about the lack of sleep is going to change their minds. Maybe. So for now, I refrain. And to be honest, it's always the first 4ish months that kill me. We're in a good stage now. But then Jude will learn to crawl and then walk. And we'll be in another stage with its own set of challenges. And we'll conquer them as we get there. And I know I certainly don't want other Mom's giving me doomsday warnings at every.single.stage I get to. Real life advice and stories? Yes. But don't rain on my parade! (This I say to remind myself not to rain on others' parades either.)

At this point in my life, I don't think I have a set number in my head of how many kids I want. I want the family that God wants for me. Whether that's 2 kids (but I'd be kinda sad to be honest) or 6, I'm fine with it.

On a rant-y note...when we start trying again, I will NOT be trying for a girl. I will be trying to get pregnant. I think at this point I'd actually like a girl (as opposed to where I was a year or so ago where I only wanted boys. No girls. At all.) but I can see how fun (and um, car-AY-zee!) it would be to have 3 boys! I hate the idea of people thinking my family would be less than "perfect" if I didn't have one of each gender. No one's family is perfect. My family will be complete whenever we stop having kids. And then one day our kids grow up and get married. And our family will expand again! And it will be glorious! But I'm getting carried away with myself here...All that to say...I welcome another child - boy OR girl into my family when that time comes. (But it's not right now. At least that I know of. *wink*)