10 things that living overseas has taught me

Usually I write my best blog posts when I'm lying in bed. In my head. And then I'm too lazy to write them down on paper. And then I forget them. Sigh.
But I've been reflecting a lot on these past two years and a few things have come to mind that I didn't actually realize until recently.
So here's 10 things that living overseas has taught me:

1. I don't use as many paper products as I used to.
Paper towels and napkins are just more expensive here and it's so much easier to use a dish towel or other hand towel to mop up messes and throw it into the wash instead of using up pricier paper towels. I've also ordered about 24 cloth napkins made out of the traditional fabric here, kikoy. So I'm excited to be able to bring those back with us and use them in Canada. {But I still am using disposable diapers. *gasp* I know. I'm killing the environment. Sigh. I'm doing what I can, folks. I'm doing what I can.}

2. The value of living a slower paced life. 
It took me awhile to adjust to how slow life is and how long it takes to get things done. But I really do love it and enjoy it. It's probably not going to be replicated in Canada, but I am definitely taking this idea back to implement in a way that will work for our life in Canada. I am not for cramming schedules and packing in as many activities and extra curriculars into our lives. My kids will be better off for spending more time as a family and less time running around to every extra activity that will supposedly boost their *insert whathaveyou here*. End Rant.

3. How to drive with less road rage.
It's true. Okay so I didn't really have road rage per se, but I used to get so angry at bad drivers. Now I drive with a couple million of them. So I just laugh. Once I was driving along a straight-away and a guy parked on my side of the road but in the opposite direction pulls out right out in front of me and I slam on the breaks. Then he proceeds to shake his hand at me and give me a bad look and all I can do is laugh at him and shake my hand back. Honestly. Bad drivers. I laugh in the face of bad drivers! Ha ha ha ha! {Lion King quote anyone?}

4. How to give thanks for the hard things.
It's easy to give thanks for the beautiful sunshine and the gorgeous view and the sweet times of family cohesion, but what about sickness and power outages and screaming kids and friends and family who are hurting on the other side of the world? I definitely don't have this one down. But I've grown a lot in this area of my life and I find myself giving thanks

5. A closeness with my husband and kids that I likely would not have had otherwise.
Of course I would have been close with my family if we had stayed in Canada. But doing life through birthdays and holidays and the every days with just us has really been such a precious experience. We've been able to form traditions that are uniquely ours. We've been able to leisurely enjoy Christmas and Easter without frantically zipping around from family to family to family to make sure we see everyone and do everything. And I have loved it. I will treasure these past two years in my heart and memories.

6. Taking a Sabbath doesn't mean going to a church building.
It's no secret that we've not been the most faithful church goers during these last 2 years. But somehow we've found a way to connect with other Jesus followers and be fed from the Word whether it's through listening to sermons or reading books or just through our quiet times. I'm not going to lie, I have missed our church family back in Guelph. A lot. And I am really looking forward to getting back into a church when we go back, but I've learned that it's not the building that's important but the attitude of the heart and the gathering of believers.

7. True community and friendship often require work. Especially if you're living overseas.
For our first year here, I drove 30 minutes each way every Thursday to visit Kelly and her boys. And I would do it all over again. It was worth getting pulled over almost every time I drove to her house. {Not because I'm a bad driver. Just because...well, they like to pull people over and get bribes here.} So yeah. It was work, but it was completely worth it.

8. I don't need very much to live and live well.
I brought over 3 pots and a few pans and a couple good knives. I bought a few other things here. My fridge is a glorified bar fridge. My oven is teeny tiny. I don't have half of what I had in my kitchen in Canada. And I'm perfectly content. You better believe I'll be doing a subsequent purge of the {few} things I have stored back in Canada when we get back. It's refreshing for me and my family when we have less things. Good things, but less things. I am also feeling particularly passionate about seriously purging the amount of toys and books the boys have. The more they have, the more bored and overwhelmed they become. When we purge and organize here, they play more happily.

9. Always make more food than you think you'll need. you never know who's going to show up for dinner.
Yup.
I already knew it in my heart/head, but I love hosting and feeding people. I really enjoy having people in our house and we've done a LOT of it these past two years. Whether it's visitors from Canada or Ugandan friends or other expats, we've had some good times in this house with others. It's confirmed for me that this is something that I want to continue upon returning to Canada.

10. To yearn for my heavenly home.
When we live in our home culture, it's easy to be comfortable. But when we live in a culture where we don't look like everyone else and we don't speak the language, when we stand out as foreigners, it's uncomfortable. And sometimes just "going back home" isn't what we truly want either. We discover what we should have been cultivating inside ourselves all along; a yearning for heaven. A yearning to be home and be known fully and loved fully. And ultimately that won't be found in Canada or America or Uganda or anywhere else.
This has been a tough lesson for me, and one that I haven't particularly enjoyed, but it's been the most important of them all. And I'm glad.

14 things I've learned about driving in Kampala

After about a year and a half of driving in Kampala, and on my way home with the kiddies today I was reflecting on things I've learned since driving here and I thought I would make a list for you to read in case you ever decide you'd like to come and drive here.

1. "The Arm" is magical and makes traffic stop. "The Arm" consists of waving your arm or getting your passenger to wave their arm out the window you are turning or merging with traffic. People respect and abide by the arm. The turning signals are useless.
2. Flashing the high beams is almost as magical. You can flash your high beams at someone coming in the opposite direction if you want to turn in front of oncoming traffic. They will usually slow to let you pass in front of them.
3. People probably aren't honking at you. They just honk a lot. They honk as they illegally pass you to let you know they're coming. they honk if they see you about to turn onto the street they're driving on to tell you they're coming and don't turn out just yet {this is most commonly done by boda drivers}. Taxi drivers {public transport vehicles that are like large vans} will honk upon coming to an area where they usually pick people up from.
4. Don't ever drive in a straight line. You will probably hit a pothole.
5. Don't give the police your drivers licence from your home country. Give them your international drivers licence and have a copy of your home drivers licence on hand to give. If they are going to issue you a ticket, they take your licence and you have to go pay the bill and show a receipt at the police station to get it back. Better to hang onto that puppy. Unless they specifically ask to see it.
6. LeftSide! STRONGSIDE! LeftSide! STRONGSIDE! {ie. stay on the left side of the road. If you are just starting to drive here, you may need to repeat this to yourself over and over again. Especially when pulling out to make a right hand turn.}
7. The bigger car usually has the right of way. You can get all aggressive and try and beat them to an opening, but it's usually better not to risk it.
8. That car isn't cutting you off. He's just driving. You gotta take a mile if you're given an inch. It's how they roll here.
9. Never trust the turn signal.
10. Just assume that nobody knows how to properly drive through a roundabout and just make your way in when it seems like there's a gap or a friendly person has let you in.
11. Just assume that nobody knows how to approach a traffic intersection with the lights out. Cautiously approach the intersection and if possible, tag along with another car in front of you.
12. There are no lines on the road for a reason. In cases of traffic jams or other occurrences  a two lane road can easily become a three or four lane road.
13. You don't really need to treat boda drivers like you would treat motorcyclists. I think of them as flies. You wave your hand at them and they fly away.

That being said, there is a general flow to the traffic here. You get used to it and it doesn't seem so crazy.

Oh and the final thing I've learned about driving here is to never ask why someone just did what they did. You just have to shake your head, laugh {if you can} and move on.

This is Africa!

our Christmas favourites: music and movies

it's no secret we love our christmas movies and music. in fact, last year someone told me that i own more christmas music than anyone else they know {my iTunes "christmas jollies" playlist has 191 songs.}. i take that as a compliment.
and then this year jamie suggested {aka challenged} me/us to watch all our christmas movies. in the words of barney stinson, "challenge accepted!".

so... music and movies - christmas style. {insert gangnam style music here.}

first up is boney m. seriously. does anyone NOT like boney m at christmas? maybe i shouldn't ask that. i'm sure there are some out there who very much do not like boney m. but me? LOVE it. i wonder if it's because it makes me think of my sister and i love my sister. last year i bought mary's boy child and have already had numerous dance parties to it. besides, if there's any christmas music that feels appropriate to listen to in africa, it's mary's boy child. by boney m. watch this video. it's a-maze-ing.

and mariah carey. i love her christmas album. i love mariah. is it really christmas if you haven't listened to "all i want for christmas is you"? i think not.

last year i was introduced to an incredible band called folk angel. they first released a christmas EP in 2009 and then an entire album in 2010. last year i bought both and loved listening to both old favourites and new songs that they cover. their music goes deeper than santa and christmas trees. i blogged last year about their spoken word piece called "god with us" - the lyrics are incredible. definitely worth a listen to. they just released their newest album. it's likely i will buy this one as well. {because i'm so close to 200!}

i love chris tomlin and diana krall and michael buble {seriously. check out that link! so fun!} and sufjan stevens. third day and christmas with the rat pack and jewel. i love 'em all. there's tons of fabulous music out there. but i need to get onto movies!

 so. this year we're attempting to watch all our christmas movies. we made a list and we've got 21 christmas movies. here they are {if you're curious}:

the holiday *

love actually *

how the grinch stole christmas {cartoon version}

how the grinch stole christmas {jim carrey version} *

national lampoon's christmas vacation *

the santa clause

the santa clause 2

the polar express*

home alone

home alone 2

white christmas

charlie brown christmas

8 crazy nights

elf *

christmas with the kranks

miracle on 34th street

christmas carol {the old version}

simpson's christmas special 1

simpson's christmas special 2

all i want for christmas

muppet's christmas carol

the ones i've put an asterix by are our favourites. national lampoon's is a family favourite and tradition from jamie's family and i've grown to love it. {that's marriage for ya.}

the grinch is a big favourite of mine because i love jim carrey. {the holiday is also quickly becoming a favourite of mine. because really? i love jack black. i think i have a thing for funny guys.}

and the boys really love the polar express. i like it too. 

i've crossed out the ones we've watched already. so it looks like we're 6/21 so far. 

we have a bunch of other kids christmas movies that we haven't "counted" towards our list, but the boys have already watched a bunch of them. one i got last year that is sweet and tells the story of christmas without annoying music {actually, the music is pretty good!} or voices is the very first noel. i highly recommend it. it's told from the viewpoint of one of the wise men and it's all in rhyme. it's very well done. you can actually watch the whole thing on youtube. 

so those are some of our favourites. what are yours?

our favourite christmas iPad apps

so it's getting to be that time of year again...christmas!!!

we love christmas around here. usually we wait until american thanksgiving to begin decorating and playing christmas music but this year we decided to move it up a bit due to the fact that it doesn't really feel like christmas here with the hot weather. and that's okay, it just means i get to play my christmas music a bit earlier than usual. so this weekend began the christmas season for us here in the strickland household {although we did almost "cancel" Christmas before we even had our tree set up due to whining, hitting and general bad behaviour. oh life.}.

in the next few weeks i'll be blogging about what are our favourite christmas things including:

music & movies
toys & decorations
ways to give
traditions

first up is iPad apps! 
jamie recently got an iPad and i've been going nuts downloading tons of fun {free!} christmas apps for us all to enjoy.

i tried this one out for the first time and had to stifle a laugh because noah was in the next room and i didn't want him to come and see. it's hilarious! you get to work in a barber shop and cut santa's hair. there are options to comb, cut, colour and grow back his hair. check out toca boca's hair salon. {you can also trim a tree as well. get it? trim a tree? aha.} the boys both love this one so it's an all 'round hit!

i absolutely love this one. it's a gingerbread cookie maker. so you guys know i love to cook and bake for reals, but this is baking without all the mess {well, and the actual cookie to eat, but whatevs.}. i love how you get to add the ingredients and stir it all together and even roll and cut out the cookies. once they're baked, you get to decorate them with icing, candies and nuts. this one is free and fun!

there are tons of free countdowns and of course you have to get the talking gingerbread man. my kids can't get enough of those silly apps. 

as for beautiful books you can read on your iPad here are my favourites:

the nutcracker musical storybook

this one isn't free {$2.99}, but it's beautifully illustrated and with the accompanying music of Tchaikovsky, you can't go wrong. it's a great way to introduce your kids to some great music and a beautiful winter/christmas story.

and this one is a classic. if you're going to pay for any iPad christmas app, let it be charlie brown's christmas. it's lovely. and i always love how the real Christmas story is told. word for word, straight from the Bible. love it. {there's also a free "trim the tree" Charlie Brown app, as well.}

what are some of your favourite yuletide apps?

5 things i've learned since becoming a mom: let go

part two in a five part series of things i've learned since becoming a mom 5 years ago.
you can read part one here.


parenting is a funny thing. often it's a balancing act between two things that seem to be at odds with one another.
hold on.

let go.

the boys select rocks to throw into the Mediterranean off the coast of Spain

we were sitting in the bus that was taking us back to our hotel in jinja after spending 2 hours cruising the nile. i watched noah as he sat across from me in his own seat. bumping and jostling about with no seat belt down the red dirt roads here in uganda. i never knew what it was to really worry until i had kids. in my head i pictured so many different scenarios in which he could get hurt. i had to bite my tongue so i wouldn't be a broken record,

hold on, buddy. 
please make sure you're being careful. 
sit properly in your seat so you don't get hurt, noah.

i didn't tell him to hold on. or be careful. i just watched him as he looked out the window and pointed out all the things he was seeing. i watched him as he eventually turned around in his seat and his head started to droop. i watched him as he fell asleep about 5 minutes from our hotel. so big. yet so little.

jude wanders off by himself on safari - classic jude

i'm learning to let go. i'm learning not to hold onto my children in fear, but to let go of them and help them develop at every stage they hit. to help them become independent young men who will one day make their own way in the world. i'm learning to teach as i live and let go of the need for perfection in day-to-day activities. to explain to noah what i'm doing as i mix the pancake batter. to let him dump in just a bit too much flour and struggle to stir the thick cookie dough together.

letting go of any hope of a well-cleaned car...

when we decided to come to uganda i had to let go of fears i didn't know i had. i had to let go of fears i was well aware that i had. i can't hold onto my children forever for fear that they will get hurt or experience pain or disappointment. it is in those trials that they develop strong character and become people who will go on to do great things. we are all shaped through pain and trials. if we try to protect our children from all pain and adversity we will end up shriveled and anxious from worry and our children will be coddled and unable to function in the world without us. and having {grown} children who are dependent of us is not the end goal of parenting.

so i let go and in turn help my children to work it out by themselves. not always jumping in to take over. not always nagging and reminding them to "be safe", "be careful", or "watch out". i help my boys to one day become men. i hold onto them, but not in fear. i let go of them in confidence and with encouragement that they can do it and if they fail, that's okay too. because you don't go far in life if you only stick to "safe".
it's not always easy for me to bite my tongue {and often times i don't} and i sometimes get caught up in my "worst case scenarios" in my head, but once again i am given this opportunity to trust God to help me to let go and trust Him with my littles, just as He has entrusted them to me.

5 things i've learned since becoming a mom: hold on

in honour of my oldest "baby" turning 5 next week {what?! how did that even happen?}, i was inspired to write about 5 things i've learned since becoming a mom.

hold on

i don't mean that we as parents should hold on in an unhealthy way. i mean hold onto those moments. those fleeting moments that may be your last with them because they've moved on to the next development. breathe in that newborn smell and close your eyes. soak it up. feel the softness of their skin, the pinkness of their feet. cherish the way your toddler wants you and only you for comfort. listen to the stories your 4 year old tells you with such imagination and attention to detail. one day they might not be as forthcoming with their thoughts and stories. hold onto those moments. hold their hands. they might not {and probably won't} want you to hold their hands forever.

blaise gets some "daddy time".

as a first time mom i was really just focusing on surviving those first few months. i had a mild case of post-partum depression and i was in a dark place. i was anxious and paranoid. it was difficult for me to hold onto those moments and yet somehow my memory of noah as a baby is far more vivid than of jude as a baby and probably than my memories of blaise as a baby will be. i'm not sure why that is {although it probably has something to do with not having two older boys to keep busy and take care of}, but i do know that i spent lots of time holding him, rocking him, crying while nursing in the middle of the night {again} and stressing over every little thing. he was my world and i focused nearly all my energies on "keeping him alive" and relishing in his every new development. this is why i smile when i see first time mom's post tons of pictures of their baby's first *insert any "first" that a baby can have* or a 10 minute video waiting for their baby to roll over. they are "holding on" to those moments and they want the world to know about this marvelous new development with "the cutest baby in the world". {because every parent thinks their child is the cutest.}

cuddles with a sick noah

as a third-time mom i am well aware of the fact that this time is precious and will fly by far more quickly than i am prepared for - and not just with blaise, but with my older two boys as well. i will not always have a three and {almost} five year old. jude will not always say "yup" in that quiet, cute way. noah will not always want or need me to read him stories. blaise is growing faster than i thought was possible.

more cuddles with a sick jude

yes, it's hard. yes, it sometimes sucks. yes, it's incredibly sanctifying to be a mother and a parent. there's nothing like a little mirror to show you all the ugliness you never knew you had in you.
God knows that i fail at this every.single.day. but regardless, it's something i've learned and continue to learn.
so hold onto your babies while they are still young. they will never want or need you like they have you now so hold onto it and remind yourself of this every.single.day. on the days when i don't remember what's really important at this stage, it's all-too-easy to get resentful for my lack of "me" time, or the way they always need me or want to tell me something or show me something and want me to play with them or read them a book. it's crazy how quickly i become self-centered when this time is so limited and my children are so precious. what is honestly more important that pouring into my children, spending time with them and teaching them? i can't think of a single thing.

and so in five years as a mama, i've learned the importance of holding on.

6 things i forgot about post-partum

1. post-partum hormones making me ridiculously hot and sweaty. all.the.time. so glad i didn't bring slippers or socks to the hospital. totally did not need them. i just get really hot. and sweaty. my go-to hairstyle for bed is pulling all my hair up on top of my head with a hair elastic so it's off my back and neck.

2. uterine cramping while breastfeeding. oh my word they really do get worse with each birth. the one thing i did wish i had in the hospital for the first night was tylenol and advil. it was like being in labour except it didn't end for a week or so.

3. engorgement. well, i didn't really forget but it's been awhile since i last breastfed. and nipple chafing/pain/cracking. ouch. and milk leakage. we're at 2 weeks and 2 days and it's finally getting better.

4. burping. i somehow forgot about burping a baby after they nurse. it's my least favourite thing to do in the middle of the night. now that the baby has a clean diaper and a full belly and is sleepy, why not whack the kid on the back to get an air bubble out? sigh. so counter-intuitive. also? am i the only weird person who burps every time i am burping the baby? yes? okay. moving on.

5. extreme soreness - specifically in my back. for the first few days, i'm all hunched over trying to get a baby to breastfeed and latch properly and carrying an infant uses muscles you didn't know {or at least, forgot} you had. luckily the intense muscle pain subsided after a few days. it's probably due to my muscles just getting used to my bad posture and other contributing factors. i'm sure my back is an absolute mess, though. oh where is my massage therapist brother-in-law when i really need him?

6. the sweet smell of new baby. my new baby. best.thing.ever.

what's in YOUR hospital bag?

i've never done this whole "giving birth in a hospital" thing before. i never really studied or paid attention to the list of "things to bring to the hospital" on the handout from the midwives. i was really blessed to be able to have two, amazing, complication-free home births.
of course i did have to make sure i had my home birth supplies ready but i knew that if i needed something i could always improvise with what was already in the house.
not so in a hospital.
especially not so in a ugandan hospital.

so at just over 37 weeks pregnant i finally got around to packing a bag.
but first, the bag! what bag was i going to use? at first i wanted to buy a cute over night bag like this one:

source

how gorgeous is this bag? so gorgeous.

or this one. so cute. and vintage! love.

source

there are tons of places here in kampala to get good quality, second hand items and i've even seen some vintage suitcases, but ultimately frugality won out and i decided to use our carry-on size suitcase.

so.
here's what i have packed so far - i'm hoping that i don't need to add anything else, but depending on any helpful comments from you guys, i might have to!

for the mama

2 nursing bras
3 prs undies
1 pretty handmade hospital gown {from my last birth} - it opens from the shoulders and allows for easy breastfeeding access and i'll use it for pajamas if we have to stay overnight {i hope we don't!}
1 dressing gown
1 pair comfy yoga/maternity pants
1 nursing tank top
1 comfy t-shirt
1 going home outfit for me (comfy dress with a v-neck for easy breastfeeding access)
toiletries: toothbrush, toothpaste, travel sized shower gel & shampoo/conditioner, travel sized contact lens solution, contact lens case and new contacts, mascara, eye liner, lip balm, nipple ointment, moisturizing hand lotion, deoderant
overnight pads
3 plastic bags for bringing home dirty towels/clothes, etc.
1 head band
a few hair elastics
1 bath towel
1 face cloth
1 cooling face cloth {from Lee Valley}
my pearl earrings that jamie brought back from the philippines for me to wear home
a pillow

for the baby

diapers

wipes

small container of vaseline

sampler size container of diaper cream

3 sleepers

2 onesies

1 pr socks

1 going home outfit

3 hats

1 heavier blanket

1-2 receiving blankets

special "lovey"

sheets for the baby's "cot"

i plan on getting jamie to pack a small bag for himself with things like:

pajamas and an extra outfit

toiletries

his iPad

our cameras

a manilla envelope for any paperwork we will acquire

a pillow

cash! {we have to pay our hospital fees up front, but thankfully our insurance reimburses us afterward.}

i'm also planning on baking some granola bars and freezing them so that i can take a bunch with us as well as having some juice boxes in our pantry and some water bottles with some crystal lite's taped to them in case we want some flavour {i'm usually a straight-up water kinda girl, but ya just never know}. i also plan on buying some of my favourite crackers here to munch on {they're kinda like cheese nips} as well as making a trail mix of sorts with a mixture of yummy nuts, raisins and maybe some kind of chocolate {they have M&Ms here but also a cheaper version of smarties which i might use}. 

then i'll put all the snacks together in one bag and have it ready to go. 

you'll notice i haven't separated it into "labour" and "birth". that's because i'm hoping i won't really be labouring that long in the hospital {or at all!}, to be honest. and i'm also hoping to get in and out of the hospital as quickly as possible as long as everyone is healthy. you can google "hospital bag" and find tons of ideas on things you could bring to aid in pain management during labour. 

so that's what i've got. 

thoughts? suggestions? 

note: the hospital that i'll be delivering at does not supply pillows, sheets for baby's cot, diapers/wipes or towels which is why i've packed them. make sure to check what the hospital you're delivering at supplies so you only have to bring what you need.