symptoms and ponderings

Whew. I'm tired.
Here are a few symptoms of pregnancy I've totally been feeling lately:
- tired
- cankles (they're back baby! Okay, so not at the REALLY bad stage, but they are starting up again)
- I get REALLY full a lot faster
- I still can burp like a frat boy
- been feeling crampy - not like contractions or Braxton Hicks but exactly like period cramps - like I felt after my water broke with Noah. Crazy!
- Braxton Hicks contractions every now and again - they are more painful than I remember
- I grunt every time I bend over - it's brutal
- the pregnant waddle is in full force - at least I feel like I am waddling BIG TIME
- oh yes, did I mention I'm TIRED?!?!

Other than that and the lack of emotional and physical capacity I feel these days...I'm doing well. Honestly, though, all things considered I am doing well, I don't have much to complain about as I know MANY women who just hate being pregnant (hate the symptoms, that is) and have far worse symptoms (extreme heartburn, major physical difficulties, pre-term labour, etc.) so I'm still definitely counting my blessings.

To be honest, I remember feeling like I would always be pregnant. I feel that way again now. Like I will always feel this big and cumbersome. Like this baby will never actually get here. It's like the calm before the storm. I know introducing this fourth person to our family is going to change things in ways I can't imagine, but in a lot of ways I feel FAR more ready for this baby than I ever did with Noah. I am not scared of how my life is going to change. In terms of socially and "life phase"-wise my life has already changed. I am a Mom. I hang out with other Moms (I hang out with other wonderful people as well of course). I have to think about my child that I am leaving at home if I go out (ie. arrange all details and babysitter). Jamie and I are still trying to figure out how to have a date night - or just go on dates. Period. I am more than a Mom, but I am a Mom. Having this child will not change that.
I think my biggest concern right now is for Noah. How will this affect him? How will I split my time and energy between two little boys and one wonderful man? How will my heart possibly grow to develop love for a second child?
I know all these things will be answered in time...but they are the ones I think about the most - not the baby gear, maternity wear or decorated (or not - ha!) nursery.
I am excited to meet this little fella and get to know him, see what kind of temperament and personality he has. See if my hunch is right (that he will be darker than Noah - dark eyes and hair)...I'm excited for these things and as long as we can get our house/bedrooms set up in our new place, I'm fine if he decides to show up a little bit early. :)
Okay, enough ponderings...this preggo needs some sleep!