letting go

Today was a beautiful day.

It was cold. The air had a bite to it that made me wish I had worn my jacket as I left the gym this morning.

It rained off and on today cancelling our plans to go to Strom's Farm with our staff team.

But it was a beautiful day.

I made stew in the slow cooker. Then someone in need came to mind. I called her and asked if she wanted some dinner for tonight. Perfect timing. What a blessing for ME to be able to give to her and her family.

Is it selfish to want to give because of how blessed it feels to give?

We had our staff team over for dinner tonight. I have always loved having people over but I continue to feel more and more comfortable about hosting and hospitality in my home; mess and all. I am not perfect, nor do I want to give off that impression. At some point {not too long ago}, I did want to appear the perfect wife/mother/house keeper.

But I am not.

I have a love of nice, beautiful, lovely, delicious things and so I will always strive to make my home nice, beautiful, lovely and a place of delicious things, but I am learning to let go.

To let go of the crumbs and the dust and the awkward set up and the toys randomly strewn about. To let go of worries and comparisons {the worst} and doubts and fears.

I want to be known. I want to know others.

I want to have a busy, noisy home full of laughter and joy and smiles and memories.

I am taking steps {little steps} to get there.