tomorrow...we fly!

I'm not sure if one is ever truly "ready" for any big life change; getting married, having a baby, moving to another country. You can read all the books and take all the classes and make your "to-do" list and talk all you want about it but I've never met a person who said, "Oh yes. This big life change is going exactly as I planned it. I knew it would exactly this way." Because life just isn't predictable or controllable that way.

We've been counting down the days since May as a way to help us all see how little time we have left here. Literally crossing off the days as we go. And yet here I sit in our living room with our bags almost entirely packed and I still think to myself, "We're leaving Uganda tomorrow! Crazy!"

I've said from the beginning that time was going to fly by and yet I'm still shocked that we're here. It's the day before we leave and close this chapter of our lives together. And I'm ready and excited and yet...it's still surreal. I have no doubt in my mind that that there will be some grieving that won't happen until I'm back in Canada and re-adjusting back to Canadian culture.

We'll board a plane tomorrow morning and leave this place we've called home for almost two years. This house that has been home to Jamie and I longer than any other home we've lived in since being married. {How crazy is that?}

So I've done everything I needed to do. The rest is an adventure and we'll just see what happens as we get there.

9 month letter

Dear Blaise,

You are 9 months. If I had to pick one word to describe your current phase it would be Busy. With a capital B. Scratch that, it would be BUSY! All in caps. With an exclamation point at the end.

Seriously. You are non-stop. You are crawling, cruising, screeching, laughing, hitting, scratching, mouthing, clinging. All the time. You head straight for cords, electrical outlets and electronics of all kinds. Almost as if you had a radar for them. You delight me and frustrate me.

Your favourite food? Breastmilk. My attempts to feed you solid food are not going as I planned, but at times I have to admit it's incredibly convenient when we go out and I don't have to really bring anything except myself. Most mornings you aren't super interested in food and I think this may have to do with the fact that you cut your first tooth last week. Our nights of many, many wake-ups and nursings are explained with the confirmation that you are indeed teething. Once we get back to Canada {we leave in 2 days!} I'll probably try and help you get more on this solid food train. But for now I'm just going with the flow and offering you food several times a day. Usually you'll take a few bites and then bat away the spoon or chunk of food I'm offering. And usually it makes a big mess. And usually I take a few deep breaths and try not to freak out. You're just a baby, afterall.

But you are obsessed with my hair. You'll crawl up behind me if I'm sitting on the ground, grab hold of my shirt or shoulder and then grab a fistful of hair and YANK as hard as you can. And then I yelp and you laugh an evil baby laugh.

You still love being around most people and will let them hold you. We went to the Life Ministry office {where Daddy's worked here in Uganda} for a good-bye lunch and you happily sat and played with several of the staff right until Mommy stood up to give a speech at which point you wailed like someone had hurt you.

You say "Mama!" Or often it just sounds like "MOM". You say it as you crawl to me or if someone else is holding you and you want me or if you see me coming to pick you up out of your crib. It's very cute and endearing. Your first word!

The other day your love of music was confirmed as you were being held by Daddy and he was singing out loud to a song and you joined in! We even got it on video. I wonder if you'll be our musical child?

In a few short days you will experience Canada for the first time. You will be held by your Aunties and Uncles and Nana and Popi for the first time. You will be reunited with your Gramma & Grandpa and another Uncle once again. You will never be lacking in arms to hold you and people to interact with.

You've now spent {almost} as much time out of the womb as you did in {since you were two weeks and two days over due!} and it feels like you've always been a part of our family. I'm so glad you were born. I'm so glad you're our little Ugandan baby and I can't wait to do the next 9 months of your life {and more!} as we start the Canadian chapter of your life.

I love you little man,

xo
Mama

See Blaise grow!

one week left ramblings

In exactly one week, I will be checked in at the airport and getting ready to board our flight outta here.

Yeah.

In my mind, it still seems like a lifetime away before we leave. Like it's not really going to happen.

I realized I am a "pre-processor" which to me means that I do a lot of my processing ahead of time. Which would explain why I don't like long, lengthy good-byes. Just say your good-byes, maybe give a good hug and get out of there asap. I've already grieved and accepted that it's a sad thing to leave. And I've probably moved on to being excited about what's to come. So please don't think I'm cold-hearted if I don't shed a tear. It's possible I've shed tears about this exact moment; just a few weeks ago.

Yesterday we sent back two bins {remember these bad boys?} and a bag with the staff team that left to go back to Canada. I am quite proud that I was able to pack up two of those things and it'll be nice not to have to lug them with us {as we'll likely have five others to lug. plus kids. that'd be a lot of luggin'.}.

It's hard to pack with a crawling, mischievous baby. Who doesn't sleep at night. {Still.}

I keep seeing lovely Ugandan things I want to buy and bring back with me. {I love craft markets!}

I can't wait to see and hug all my friends and family.

I am nervous about peoples' expectations of me/our family and the fight against a packed schedule to see and do ALL THE THINGS. {Sometimes I am a "worst-case scenario" kind of person.}

We went swimming yesterday and I need a new bathing suit. So does Blaise. He's not quite as chunky as Noah was at this age as the 12-18 month suit doesn't quite stay up on him. But he definitely loved swimming! So there's that.

Last week I took down all the pictures from the walls. They look so barren now.

Today I will pack some more. And try to remember this:

today we are...

a bit sick and feverish

saying YES to snacking and why do we need three square meals a day anyway?

cuddling and nursing babies back to longer naps

watching movies {Star Wars!} and reading books

doing a bit of packing
cleaning
sorting
purging

solo parenting

looking at houses online

listening to countless facts and stories about Star Wars

hanging laundry

chugging water and occasionally popping Tylenol to combat a nagging headache

today we are taking it easy. because all rules go out the window when some of us are sick and there's only one parent.

today I am leaning into Jesus to be more than what I need.

June THREE

This is insane. It's June! We have just over 2 weeks left in Uganda!

We've been {sorta} packing and planning and some big things have been happening and I'm so excited about them and I'm so excited to see friends and family and give them big hugs and sit and drink large glasses of Canadian milk {oh yes.} and give them all the lovely things I've been buying for them.

Needless to say, we've been busy. And so this blog has been neglected. But it won't always be this way.

Blaise has been sleeping a bit better {as in averaging 1 wake up to nurse per night, not including the one between 10 and 11pm} and napped for a total of 5.5 hours yesterday! Whaaaa?!?
Noah and Jude have helped me do a preliminary sorting of toys and it was relatively pain-free as we decided what toys to leave here/give away and what toys to bring back to Canada. They're excited to move, although every now and then one of them will mention something they'll miss about Uganda like our house or our yard or their friends.

I just realized that our next monthly picture will be in Canada! That makes me both incredibly sad and yet also incredibly nervous/excited.

Oh the things we will do! Oh the places we will go!

I take pictures of my kids every month. Check out past months here.