Wednesday, January 23, 2013

missionaries aren't perfect

Most days it's weird to think of myself as a missionary.

You see, I grew up in a church that had many missionaries coming and going. My piano teacher ended up moving with her family {4 little kids at the time!} to Malawi. But for some reason I had this idea that missionaries are...better than the rest of us. Somehow different than "normal" people. Here's the deal, though. They aren't. I mean, we aren't. We're normal. We mess up. We swear {well, some of us do.}. We lose our cool and skip quiet times and have days {months?} when we don't feel close to Jesus.

Today I was having one of those days.

We're going to Spain {for the same conference as we went to last year} on Friday morning {like 3am. Yikes.}. Well, technically we have plane tickets to Spain. Whether we're going or not is still not certain. You see, we don't actually have our passports. They're currently at the immigration offices here in Kampala. Where they've been since August. I kid you not.
And after paying over $500 in "fees" {due to their inefficiency in processing Jamie's work permit} I expected to have our passports like 4 months ago and the only worry in my mind would be whether I had packed enough diapers. A bit of a fool's hope.
We were told we'd have our passports by today. Jamie went to the immigration offices today and after talking to multiple people was told to come back tomorrow. Oh and apparently our lawyer was "surprised" to find out that we are leaving on Friday. Even though Jamie told him several times.
When Jamie came back without our passports I had very unsavory thoughts go through my mind toward Uganda and the system and the people.
Sigh.

What am I even doing here?

Anyway, it's frustrating. But it is what it is. And the thing is, Jesus is not surprised by any of this. So we continue to trust in His goodness. Regardless of whether we miss our flight or not.
But I really, really, really want to go to Spain. So that's what I'm praying for. Because with the ants and cockroaches and rats and mice and the heat and the inefficiency of things here {oh and possible bed bugs}...I need a break. Because I'm normal too. I'm nothing special. But He is.

5 comments:

  1. Oh love. I am praying you can go to Spain. Fervently.

    I idolized so many missionaries as a kid...I respect them even more now, understanding how completely HUMAN and just-like-me they are.

    So much love for you.

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  2. Aww so sad to read this post and hear that passports aren't back in your hands yet. Been praying all week since I heard from Darren that you were still waiting on them. God reminded me that he knows what he is doing. I really want you to be in Spain! Wouldn't be nearly as fun without you.

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  3. Been praying ALL WEEK! Jesus does know what He's doing- if only He would clue us in once in awhile! If you're in Kampala on Saturday- come to our house. We can eat chocolate- let you and Jamie go on a date- or go to speke? We've got your back! But REALLY praying you are in Spain on Saturday!

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  4. I kind of randomly stumbled across your blog today and have already added you to my best friend list. I'm glad eveything worked out with the passport when we were in Uganda a year ago they were doing the same thing with my cousin's passport (he was living there for 2 years) they kept telling him it was somewhere else and took him months to get it back.
    Anyway, I can't wait to read more about your journey!

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