Thursday, May 9, 2013


I've been doing a lot of processing and ruminating lately. 

I've always yearned for authenticity in friendships. This yearning has often lead to me being someone who is guilty of "the overshare". {Here I am. Know me. Looove me.}

These last two years we've lived with a total of 3 people "outside" of our family although they've all become very much a part of ours. It's been good and sometimes tricky to not have our own space. I look forward to walking into our living room in my pajamas in the mornings. Or having a private conversation with Jamie in our living room. But I will miss having others around to interact with and build those connections with as well as see our boys do the same.

I've become close friends with Kelly during our time in Uganda and we've "done life" together - during weekly play dates and sleepovers and the rare {coveted} time we hang out with no kids. I said to Jamie last night that I am so sad this season of our friendship is over. I'm in mourning. 

I've been reading a book where the author talks about the idea of "being brave" with your friends. And I love that. Because sometimes {most times} honesty and authenticity and vulnerability requires courage and bravery. I can think of at least two friends that I can always count on to be brave and honest with me and those that I can be brave and honest with as well, knowing there's a foundation of love and friendship to rest on when the truth can hurt.

I've missed my friends and my community back in Canada/Guelph and I've experienced some sweet fellowship over skype and emails, but it doesn't compare with the face-to-face conversations I've had here and I had before we moved here.

We're not meant to live alone, isolated, without community. We're meant to live in community. Brushing shoulders with one another. Laughing loudly. Crying together. Making and eating food with each other and in each other's homes. Holding each others' kids and celebrating birthdays together. 

I'm not sure I always embraced community during these last two years, but the times I did, I don't regret. 


  1. amen. so grateful for a kindred spirit. you'll always be a part of our beginning in Uganda. I love that. it is such a gift. i love you much.

    1. Love you too. You will always be connected in my memories with Uganda. :)

  2. Love this post Vanessa, and your honest and open heart. Praying for a smooth transition into "life" in Canada, and for all that your friendships will hold when you come back.

    Miss you and see you soon!

    1. Thanks, Bekki. Looking forward to seeing you and loving on your sweet girls. :) (At the beach!)

  3. bless ya V. i've always thought of you as brave and authentic but its so ... refreshing to read the honesty behind it. so many people these days really do live life with a "its just how i am" mentality. how lovely to see you seeking out and nurturing these awesome qualities in yourself. i am so thankful that you were blessed by your friendship with Kelly. it will be tough moving back, but like everything else you've tackled, it will only be tough for a little while.

    1. Ah I am SO excited to be able to have these conversations face-to-face with you so soon!!!
      And I take heart from your comments since you have had much experience with the leaving friendships, making new ones, then leaving and coming back to "old" friendships/starting over.
      Can't wait to "do life" together so soon!

  4. It can be so hard, to say goodbye to people who have made your time in a new place easier, happier, more meaningful.
    May your old friendships continue to thrive, and your new friendships bring you just as much joy.


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