Tuesday, February 26, 2013

a stripping away

We have less than 4 months left in Uganda before moving back to Canada.

Since we've been back from Spain we've all been brutally sick.
We've had a really crappy water situation.
We've had rotten power and were without for over 3 days straight.
We've had bedbugs and "African B.O.".
Blaise is adorable as ever, but I'm waking up at least 3 or 4 times a night still with him. Colour me sleep deprived.

and I've gone off sugar.

I feel like all the things I usually go to are being stripped away.
A nice shower before bed to wash off the sweat and dirt and grime of the day? Nope.
An internet connection or even battery on my computer/phone to connect with friends and family? Nope.
A lovely chocolate bar in a particularly stressful moment of the day? Nope. {Although this is my own doing.}
The feeling of being safe from critters, even in your own bed? Nope.
A solid 5+ hours of consecutive {or total} sleep? Nope.

God is stripping these things away from me. He is not done with me even though I only have 4 more months left in Uganda. I know that He still has much for me. I often reflect and think, Have I even changed? Is my life different because I moved to Uganda for two years? Do I love Jesus more than I did 2 years ago?

I feel like a small child. Slow to listen. Slow to learn. I feel gratitude for the patience and mercy of God toward me.

Because He continues to say to me, Come to ME. Rest in ME. Find your solace and your comfort in ME. Those other things may be good, but they won't last like I do. Come to me, sweet child. I will give you rest.

I have changed, but it is not of my own doing. It is all Jesus. Alive in me. Isn't that absolutely mind-blowing? Stop and think about it. Jesus. Is alive. In me. It is Him working to change my character into someone who is more gracious and generous. Someone who loves more, gives more, serves more joyfully.

I also feel like Jesus is helping me reroute my attention back to my family. Like I'm coming full circle to where I began when we first moved here. I have my three amazing, precious boys. Shut the laptop. Walk away from the iPad. Get down on the ground and play cars or Lego. Get the puppets out. Climb a tree. Make a craft. DANCE PARTY!

So there is a stripping away that continues in my life. I pray that when we move back to Canada, I continue to be changed. Even when it's hard and painful and the stripping away just plain sucks. Because I don't want to look back in another two years and wonder, Have I even changed/grown at all? Do I love Jesus more now than I did two year ago?


  1. Ah, friend. Sorry to hear about the bedbugs and electricity issues on top of everything else.

    I feel quite sure you have changed, and that you'll see that more clearly once you return to Canada. I find change is often subtle and tricky to see in real-time. Hindsight is much clearer :)

    1. That's quite true, and a good way to put it.

      Yeah. I cope with the bad power by saying, "This is Uganda." and then heaving a sigh and moving on with life. What are ya going to do?

  2. Thanks for the hope mixed in with the frustration. I appreciate your perspective and the obvious work God is doing in your heart. He is amazing.

  3. #1 Daughter

    One of the things we often forget, at least I know I do, is that this is an on going ( and often repetitive) process. Thank goodness we have a patient loving heavenly father....

  4. Yikes about the Bedbugs and the no power!!! How does your Fridge run when you have no power?
    Bedbugs are a horrible thing we also had them and they are no Fun!!!

    1. Courtney, basically our fridge DOESN'T run. We have a glorified bar fridge. We bought it because we knew the power would intermittently go out so we don't have tons of food at any one time. I did have to cook up some extra bacon (nobody seemed to mind that) because it had totally defrosted. We almost lost a thing of mozza cheese, but luckily power came on in time to refreeze it. :)


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