I get it.
I'm not a super sappy or sentimental person, but I am a wreck. I am crying and reminiscing and trying to keep it together for the sake of my other kiddos.
We dropped Noah off this morning at school. Grade one. All day. Every day. I was doing okay until I watched him find a seat at a small desk in a small chair across from a couple other boys. I smiled and waved at him and he waved back and I walked away and lost it.
He was so excited and brave and when we walked into the school (was I really the only parent to accompany their kid? Or did I just break some unspoken rule?) he was a bit unsure and wanted me to come with him to pick out a hook to hang his backpack on. Only a pair of shoes, a lunch box and a pencil case and that backpack was heavy. He's so little.
How is it that I remember his birth so clearly? How is it that I'm a Mom to a little boy in grade one? How did that happen?
I wish I could be a fly on the wall in his classroom.
What is he learning? Who is he meeting? Is he loving every minute of it? Is he regretting coming in the first place? Will he know how to find the bathroom and lunch room?
Dear Jesus, please be with my boy. Guard him. Lead him to the friends that will encourage and uplift him. Help him make good choices.
Did I do enough to prepare him? I feel so unprepared myself.
Last night we did a special dinner together. And by "special" I mean we used a table cloth and had cloth napkins and ate tacos.
It was loud and we ate quickly. Jamie prayed for Noah and we talked about standing up for what's right and being true to ourselves. And then it was all over.
This morning we had Timbits and smoothies and pancakes and applesauce (because apparently we have no fruit in the house. Whoops.) and we prayed again for Noah and I read him Joshua 1:9.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged. For the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
I have been continually praying and releasing my children into God's hands. Surrendering them over and over again. Praying for their teachers and friends.
This parenting gig isn't for the weak of heart.
Mine is getting an overhaul as I type this.
I love you, Noah. I'm so proud of you.
Stay sweet. Have fun. Be a light.