motherhood and me

Motherhood is certainly life changing. I recall saying to Jen a few days before Noah was born that I marvelled at mothers - it seemed as though moms become "super"people. They cope with less sleep, more stress, more demands and it really just blows me away sometimes.
Now I find myself getting by day by day with a lot less sleep than I'm used to and I'm still coherent (for the most part) and surviving.
I left the house for the first time in 8 days. Probably the longest I've ever stayed in one place without venturing outside. But I definitely could have gone longer. It was great to get outside for sure, but at this point there are so many changes in my life that I'm still trying to adjust to - both in my own body both physically and emotionally as well as adjusting to this beautiful little newborn in my life.
Next week Jamie is going to a training retreat for 3 days. Originally I had planned to join him but today we decided that it would be too hard - mainly the nights. The nights are the hardest with Noah as he feeds at least every 2 hours. Sometimes he holds out for longer, but often it's a good 2ish hours. So I feel quite torn and sad because I will miss Jamie but I know that I will be 100% more comfortable in my own home where I don't have to worry about not only keeping Jamie up at night, but also anyone within range of Noah's crying. So that's tough. Probably the first of many more tough decisions I'll have to make because of Noah. It is worth it - I love this little boy more than I ever thought I could love someone...but that doesn't negate the hard times and sacrifices that being a mom requires.