sugar-free, egg-free, gluten-free banana peanut butter chocolate chip cookies

that's a mouthful, eh? {get it? mouthful? okay. i'm done.}

i made these after having the recipe saved on my computer and hearing rave reviews from friends who had tried it. {i can't find the source
truthfully i was looking for something sweet to snack on.
these totally fulfilled my craving AND they are healthy to boot!

we were at mishmash for lunch today and i picked up some all-natural peanut butter from one of the vendors. the perfect addition for these cookies. 
{i seriously still can't believe these don't have any added sugar in them besides for the chocolate chips!}

anyway, i think these may be my go-to chocolate chip cookie from now on. i won't feel so bad letting my boys have an extra cookie now. {not to mention sneaking one or two more myself!}

enjoy!

banana peanut butter chocolate chip cookies
slightly adapted from the family kitchen


3 large bananas
1/2 cup all-natural peanut butter
1/4 cup canola oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups oats
1/3 cup coconut
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup chocolate chips

preheat oven to 350˚F.
in a large bowl mash the bananas with the peanut butter, oil and vanilla. in another bowl stir together the oats, coconut, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients along with the chocolate and stir until combined.
drop spoonfuls of dough onto a parchment-lined baking sheet, and bake for 12-14 minutes, until just set. makes about 2 1/2 dozen cookies.

{these are only gluten-free if you are using gluten-free oats.}

Me in Pictures

I've been wanting to blog about this for a little while now but here I sit, finally doing it.

Anyway, it's nothing big...only that, well, lately I've actually liked how I've looked in photographs. Even the candid ones.

This is new. At least since I've had kids {and haven't been pregnant because I always like how I look when I'm pregnant}.

And it's hard to admit that. But it's true. I'm vain. But mostly it's because my self image has gone down the crapper {along with my mental ability to retain knowledge and otherwise IMPORTANT information other than the lyrics to Sharon, Lois & Bram and any sort of stomach muscle tone I ever had}. I haven't even liked how I felt about myself. Because I haven't liked myself. For a long time.

But lately I've been running. And eating yummy food - trying to eat GOOD food, but what with mouth-watering butter-filled recipes like ones from The Pioneer Woman and Bakerella, sometimes I go overboard and it's hard not to eat the last 5 cookies in the container. But I digress...

So I've been running. And while the number that shows up on the scale hasn't exactly gone down dramatically, I feel better about myself. And I'm not sure if it's because I'm learning to accept and love myself or it's because I've actually toned up or lost flab or maybe it's a bit of everything.

But somewhere along the line, I think I've started to figure out this whole thing called balance. And I gotta say that this desire to go for a run is something entirely new to me.

And I love it.

And if nothing else, that is one of the best things to happen to me in a long time.

Tired but satisfied.

It was a really good day.

The kind of day that when you sit down on your couch you feel tired, but satisfied.

My kitchen and living room are clean.

The laundry is done (but not put away. Sigh. Always the hardest part.).

We played outside. We went to the park. We went to the Y (I had a good run!). I bought some supplies for my first DIY project(s) from a thrift store. (I also went to a seamstress to get a dress altered only to find out I didn't need it altered. It fit me the way the dress was designed to. Which meant I didn't have to pay $100+ in alterations! Woo! And I filled out some paperwork which these days is a huge feat in and of itself for me.) We watched Jamie's soccer games.

I am tired.

But I am definitely satisfied.

I need to spend less time on my computer and more time in the real world.

Can I get an amen?

GBS positive

What a bummer.
I got a call from my midwives today and found out that I am indeed GBS (Group B Strep) positive. The implications from this are many:
1. the recommended procedure is that once I go into labour or my waters break, I am supposed to get an IV antibiotic. The reason for this is that there is a risk that baby may contract GBS and if so, MAY develop a disease which MAY result in death. Quick death.
2. Midwives are unable to write prescriptions for antibiotics. So my family doctor is being approached to see if she is willing to write a prescription for this antibiotic so I don't have to go to the hospital for the first dose. If she ISN'T willing, it's likely I will have to go to the hospital for the first dose. BOO.
3. Obviously the choice is mine. The chance of baby getting GBS and contracting the disease is slight, but the risk is great. Potential death. On the other hand, if the baby doesn't get GBS, he is still getting the antibiotic which changes the natural flora in his digestive tract and makes him more susceptible to yeast infections (or thrush if it's in the mouth) which greatly disrupts breastfeeding.
I'm annoyed and deflated that I am in fact GBS positive. I wasn't with Noah so this wasn't even an issue. There just seems like so many downsides to getting the antibiotic but then one gigantic pro IF and only IF this baby is the one of thousands to contract GBS. UGH.
Now I'll need to think about this and talk it over with Jamie and re-read the pamphlet on GBS.

symptoms and ponderings

Whew. I'm tired.
Here are a few symptoms of pregnancy I've totally been feeling lately:
- tired
- cankles (they're back baby! Okay, so not at the REALLY bad stage, but they are starting up again)
- I get REALLY full a lot faster
- I still can burp like a frat boy
- been feeling crampy - not like contractions or Braxton Hicks but exactly like period cramps - like I felt after my water broke with Noah. Crazy!
- Braxton Hicks contractions every now and again - they are more painful than I remember
- I grunt every time I bend over - it's brutal
- the pregnant waddle is in full force - at least I feel like I am waddling BIG TIME
- oh yes, did I mention I'm TIRED?!?!

Other than that and the lack of emotional and physical capacity I feel these days...I'm doing well. Honestly, though, all things considered I am doing well, I don't have much to complain about as I know MANY women who just hate being pregnant (hate the symptoms, that is) and have far worse symptoms (extreme heartburn, major physical difficulties, pre-term labour, etc.) so I'm still definitely counting my blessings.

To be honest, I remember feeling like I would always be pregnant. I feel that way again now. Like I will always feel this big and cumbersome. Like this baby will never actually get here. It's like the calm before the storm. I know introducing this fourth person to our family is going to change things in ways I can't imagine, but in a lot of ways I feel FAR more ready for this baby than I ever did with Noah. I am not scared of how my life is going to change. In terms of socially and "life phase"-wise my life has already changed. I am a Mom. I hang out with other Moms (I hang out with other wonderful people as well of course). I have to think about my child that I am leaving at home if I go out (ie. arrange all details and babysitter). Jamie and I are still trying to figure out how to have a date night - or just go on dates. Period. I am more than a Mom, but I am a Mom. Having this child will not change that.
I think my biggest concern right now is for Noah. How will this affect him? How will I split my time and energy between two little boys and one wonderful man? How will my heart possibly grow to develop love for a second child?
I know all these things will be answered in time...but they are the ones I think about the most - not the baby gear, maternity wear or decorated (or not - ha!) nursery.
I am excited to meet this little fella and get to know him, see what kind of temperament and personality he has. See if my hunch is right (that he will be darker than Noah - dark eyes and hair)...I'm excited for these things and as long as we can get our house/bedrooms set up in our new place, I'm fine if he decides to show up a little bit early. :)
Okay, enough ponderings...this preggo needs some sleep!

belly

I've found lately that if I walk for long periods of time my lower belly tightens up - almost like when you get a running cramp. Not sure if it's Braxton Hicks or what, but eventually it passes so I just keep walking through it.
I think in general I am just out of shape so that probably doesn't help.

sick

I'm 24 weeks today and have come down with my 19th bazillion cold since the start of this pregnancy. Ugh. I'm so sick of being sick.
I watched videos of Noah's first 5 days alive...man oh man...how quickly we forget those early days, weeks, and months. It's amazing! I said last night to a friend that I am not ready for those days again. I mean, I'm very excited to meet this little guy, but the lack of sleep, the crazy hormones...oi vey. The spit up! :p
But it's all worth it. It really and truly is. :)

midwife appointment #....?

Is it possible to be proud of your child before he is born? :D
Today during my appointment with my midwife (and intern) she kept saying, "What a smart baby you have" and I am sure she says that to all women, but still. He's already head down and in the right position.
Yay baby!
Medical health update:
I don't have gestational diabetes! Phewf. Seriously...so glad about that.
My iron is a bit low so I just need to up my iron intake in my food. No supplements needed at this point.
Other than that...everything else is good. It was my quickest appointment yet! In 25 minutes I think we were in and out.
And I had my most disgusting conversation yet with my midwife today. I won't post it because it was pretty detailed and definitely too much information for the blogosphere to handle...but I appreciated it. I like being able to talk about gross stuff that's happening and know that she's not going to scrunch up her face in disgust and say, "That's disgusting! You are one weird woman."
Even though I am. :D