balance

it's Good Friday.
we went to church this morning {after i told jamie to change his shirt - it was too easter sundayish}.
it was a good service and helped me to further reflect on Jesus and his death.
for me.
as we watched a drama interspersed with video/images a verse popped into my head,

Isaiah 53:5b
and with his stripes, we are healed.


the beatings, the wounds, it was all for us. all because of us. because of me. i am healed through his stripes, his wounds.

after church we came home and the sun was shining and toys were strewn about the backyard so i quickly checked some emails while jamie was outside with the boys. seconds later he raps on the window and i look outside to see jude standing {splashing happily, actually} in 3 inches of water that had pooled in the lid of our sandbox truck. with his jeans and "church shoes".
jamie had looked away for a minute and this happened

so i grabbed my camera {of course} and head outside.
and then i made sure this happened

and it wasn't particularly hot but the sun was shining and jude was happy to tromp around the backyard with no pants on. 

and that's life, i guess. balancing on one hand the solemnity of today and remembering the horrible, excruciating death Jesus died for me; for us. and on the other hand laughing with my family and shedding the "wet jeans and sludgy church shoes" because we have Jesus and the grace he gives us every day.

i don't always understand it, but i'm incredibly thankful for it. for Him.

to be refreshed

I went away this weekend.
To a girls (can I still call myself a girl? calling us "ladies" conjures up thoughts of doilies and calling us "women" makes me think of something more professional or organized than this weekend actually was. "girls" it is.) cottage getaway.
It.Was.Delightful.
And refreshing.
It truly was just what I needed.

About a year ago (more?) I started getting together with several young moms from my church for a purely social evening. You see, it's kinda hard to make friends on Sunday mornings. So we all would get together and at first we got together at a restaurant and that was pretty fun, but soon our conversations would last longer and were more intimate than a restaurant setting provided. So we started meeting in each others' homes. Until this past December as we were heading out sometime before midnight I said, "I feel like we could talk all night long! We need some kind of retreat!"
And then Katie said that their family had a cottage.
And the rest is history.
To be honest, I didn't know if it would actually come together but I'm so glad it did.
We pretty much just talked

and ate.

The amazing thing is that we didn't just talk about our kids and our husbands and our lives, but we shared deeply with each other. I shared things I've never told many people (save for my husband and maybe even my sister) before. There was no judgement, no competitiveness or one-upping. It was safe and fun and loving and I think probably one of my favourite parts was sharing our testimonies with one another on Sunday morning. 

Each person was vulnerable in their own way and we were able to pray for each other and come along side each other as we shared how God has redeemed us and changed us and continues to work in our lives. 

It was beautiful and such a perfect example of how the body of Christ is supposed to come together to truly be a family - sisters in Christ.

I loved it.

Part of me just weeps when I think of leaving this group now as I know in my heart that God is doing something and is going to do something really big through this group and these women, but I know that He is sovereign and His timing is perfect. 

But mostly I'm just thankful to have experienced such awesome fellowship and friendship and I hope to continue to experience it - it will just look a little different.

Oh and I ate amazing food (quiche & thai soup and indonesian curry and scones and delicious salads). And laughed. A lot. It was amazing.

romans

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.