Monday, May 25, 2009

thoughts at 31 weeks of pregnancy

I think the fact that I am having another baby is starting to hit me now. More so in the fact that I will be unable to give my full attention now to Noah but have to split my time and energy (but not love - that somehow multiplies!) between 2 little guys and 1 big guy!
It's somewhat of a bittersweet thought to have to take time away from Noah even though I know some day he will have no memories of it just being him, Daddy and me...but still. I will.

I think it's hitting home for several reasons:
1. When I realize I have 60 days or less until this baby is born I kinda freak out.
2. When I read on Facebook that one of the girls in my pregnancy group (due July 2nd) went into labour and had her baby 5 weeks early (a 6 pounder at FIVE WEEKS EARLY!).
3. When I compare my belly pictures when I was pregnant with Noah to now and realize how close I was at that point to having Noah...crazy!
4. When I think about the fact that I will be MOVING into a house at 36 weeks of pregnancy. Full term is 37 weeks. I pray I do not have this baby before 39 weeks, but ya just never know!

Phew. Crazy stuff. But exciting. I am dreaming and thinking of this little boy and wondering which side of the family he will take after in looks - will he be a good mix or clearly resemble someone? Will he be darker than Noah (this is my hunch)? What will his personality be like? How will Noah respond? How will I handle being a Mommy of two boys? I'm excited...not stressed or scared (except perhaps when I ponder labour/delivery for too long) but more anticipating yet another major life change for me - even though I already have a child and my life has significantly changed and parts of it will remain the same, being a Mommy of two boys and a family of four will only be more work, more challenge, more joys, more rewards, more cuddles!, more obsessing over my lack of sleep...and I say (if not naively...) bring it on!

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