Thursday, May 28, 2009

weary and heavy-laden

Noah threw up this morning. Just now he had diarrhea.
I'm beyond tired of everyone in this family getting sick.

Noah had the stomach flu for a week. Then he got better.
Then a couple days later Jamie got a head cold.
Then a day later Noah got the head cold.
Then a few days later I got the head cold.
Now Noah's head cold has mostly cleared up and he gets a stomach thing again.
Jamie and I are still sinusy and working through the remnants of this cold.

And with the burden of being over 7 months pregnant, not being able to take cold medication, having to pack and move, family obligations and the usual relational "stuff" to work through and navigate, plus traveling between our Guelph place and our temporary apartment in Waterloo I am BEYOND tired of ... well, everything.

Yes, waiter! Um, I'd like a full bank account, a day off for some shopping and spa time for me. Alone. With my iPod.


I know those things would only recharge me temporarily and the true recharging I need is from Jesus...but sometimes it's so hard to talk to someone I can't see. To someone who isn't there physically to sit quietly while I rant and then wipe my tears when I inevitably fall apart. My frustrations with people and situations are indeed "light and momentary" but often they seem quite all consuming and world-shattering.

Jesus, I know you said to your disciples it would be better once you left because then the Holy Spirit would come and help us to live in Your strength, but sometimes I'd just like to be physically with you. To hear you audibly and feel your hand giving me an encouraging squeeze on my shoulder and then giving me a bear hug when I don't think I can keep on doing this.

Help me to keep my eyes fixed on YOU. I think it's the only way to make it through the harder times with sanity and relationships intact, but most importantly to make it through and glorify You with my thoughts, words and actions.

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