Tuesday, November 6, 2012

5 things i've learned since becoming a mom: love

this is the final entry in a five part series of things i've learned since becoming a mom 5 years ago.
click on the links to read part one, part two, part three and part four.

becoming a mom helped me to see the selfish idea of love that i had. sure i was married. sure jamie and i had dated for 4 years {plus 10 months being engaged}. but having kids and becoming a mom opened my eyes to my shallow definition of love. jamie and i had sailed through our first couple years of marriage with relative ease. sure we had fights, but we probably would have had even less if i had learned to really love and put his needs before my own.
but becoming a mother taught me about how to 


i remember sitting at a dinner table with a close friend of mine and watching her give up her strawberries from her salad for her son who loved {at that time} all fruit and vegetables that were red. i understood, but i couldn't imagine gladly giving up a fruit that was one of my favourites. {so immature, right?}

just today i have wiped two different children's bums and also picked up a large turd off the floor and deposited into the toilet {where it belongs}. 
i probably got 5-6 hours of sleep last night. and the littlest little is screaming his heart out in rejection of his nap. that he very much needs right now. {that i very much need him to take.}
i have listened to many a children's cd that i can't stand because it brings them happiness.
today is jamie's birthday and i managed to scrap together a slice of banana bread and vanilla earl grey tea for his birthday breakfast this morning. {he was very gracious and gladly accepted.}
i repeat myself over and over and over again as i attempt to teach my boys how to speak politely to grown-ups. 
i pray for my boys - for who they are. for who i hope they will be. 
i have devoured dozens of books on parenting. 
i have read the same bedtime story for months in a row.
their loves and passions have become mine. their accomplishments are exciting and joy-filling to participate in with them.
i have devoted countless hours discussing with friends about parenting challenges and issues with my kids. 

in learning to love these little boys, i have already gained a wider understanding of what it means to love my husband. it's hard. we have not so easily sailed through these last 5 years. no sir. i have learned what is meant by the saying "marriage is work". it is. but although our lives are so different now and sometimes we reminisce what it was like before we had kids, i wouldn't change a thing. having kids has deepened our love for each other and strengthened our marriage. 

love doesn't always mean giving my kids what they want, but it does mean that i'd gladly give them something that i used to selfishly keep to myself. whether it's a strawberry or my time...i'm learning to love with a more selfless, Christ-like love. 


  1. Great post Vanessa! I often think about how differently I think about love now as opposed to when Daniel and I got married 9 years ago, and like you, I have learned more about the selfless, Christ-like love. I have no idea what is in store for the future...the teenage years or the next 50 years with Daniel, but knowing God, I have a feeling we have only learned the tip of the iceberg compared to what there is to learn about love!
    Have a great day :)

  2. Thanks, Jade. I'm certainly humbled by God's (and Jamie's) patience with me as I learn in this area. I am also looking forward to the next 50 years and see where I am!


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