immanuel

we've been opening our advent envelopes and have done things like going on a nile cruise, made paper snowflakes, done other crafts, read the story of Jesus' birth by candlelight, but yesterday our activity was to go and buy some things for the sanyu babies home and today's activity was to go and deliver them.
so this afternoon {after we went to a christmas party at kelly's house}we went back to our side of town and visited the sanyu babies home to complete our advent activity for the day; dropping off some diapers, wipes, rice, formula and other needs they had.
remember my 1/2 birthday party that my amazing friends threw for me back in april? well, half of the money that was given to me was to go toward a charity/cause of my choice. this is one of the things my money went to!

i was excited to involve the boys and give them this chance to help other kids.
i'm not sure what i was expecting to see, but for some reason i was not expecting to see all 49 children running around without shoes on. i was not expecting to see one of the little toddlers with completely soaked pants {from pee}. i was not expecting to see one of the staff crying as she said good-bye to a newly adopted baby {we had just arrived at the end of their farewell party}. i was not expecting to be offered to share a lollipop with one of the kids.
i believe these children are given what the staff can give them {be it love/attention/physical needs} and that it is one of the better run and maintained orphanages in kampala, but still my heart aches.
i watched my children walk into the playground area in their crocs and sandals with fresh diapers and clean clothes on, still smelling like the shampoo from the night before. they played on the swings and slide with the other kids, oblivious to the fact that at the end of the day, these children would likely sleep in a room with a lot of other children with no parent at the end of the hall to come in and lie down with them when they wake up during the night. when jude fell off the swing he knew he had me to comfort him. and even though he screamed as we left {he wanted to stay longer and play}, i thought of all the other children who had no choice but to stay there.
we will definitely go back to sanyu many times over the next year and a half that we are here. i will hold children and give them love and attention.

 and my heart will still ache when i leave.

tonight i prayed with the boys that God would send more parents to sanyu and all the other orphanages in uganda and the world to bring home their babies {no matter if they're 9 months old or 9 years old} and bring them into a new family just like God brought us into His family.
it all comes back to Jesus.
and that is what christmas is all about.
i was adopted into God's family because Jesus gave up everything to become a baby and be the rescuer of mankind.
immanuel. God with us.

1/2

i am the best person to throw a surprise party for.
simply because i am always completely clueless and totally blown away.

example:
today.
a week or so ago i got an email from my sweet friend jen, inviting me and a few others to join her today to have a little birthday celebration at her place. myself and several others replied saying that of course we'd be there.

today i had lined up a hair appointment that was conveniently right before the party and as i walked in to jen's house with freshly cut hair {whoo boy i needed it: as in i couldn't remember exactly when i last had my hair cut} i saw that jen had a funny look on her face. within seconds a bunch of people jumped out holding signs with "1/2" and "30" on them and it took me a minute to figure out that this party was not for jen, but for my 1/2 birthday. you see, i turn 30 on october 21st which means i'll be in uganda by then.
my amazing friends jen & suz had organized a surprise 1/2 birthday party {i turned 29 and 1/2 on april 21st} for me in the guise of a birthday party for jen so that i would get to celebrate my 30th with my friends!

wow.

there were tears, folks. and then i believe i said that i was thankful i had just gotten my haircut. {oh the vanity.}

and if that weren't amazing enough it was a "1/2 and 1/2" party which means that people gave money in lieu of gifts and half of it i get to give to an orphanage in Uganda when i go! this speaks so deeply to who i am and what i'm passionate about. and my friends know it and are now a part of it.

best 1/2 birthday present EVER.

it was also a really great opportunity to say some good byes and spend some time with people that have been such a part of my life here in guelph and i truly pray and hope that we will stay in contact with each other over the next few years.

i feel very loved and very blessed and am still in shock.
thank you jen and suz. i love you both very much and am trying not to think about how very much i'll miss the both of you. {please write. and call. and skype.}

more tears.

sixty feet

today i watched this video:


Nathalie from Sixty Feet on Vimeo.


then i posted this on facebook:

i lay in bed thinking about these children, this country and what my role in it all was.

i think the thing that got me was that this week, the image of that child laying on that woman's bosom was a distorted image of what i experienced with jude. 

he's been sick since wednesday and i've spent large amounts of each day with him. nestled into me. 

the reason that image is distorted is because in my life, that child {my jude} is clothed. he has been given love every day of his life. despite fighting the flu, he is healthy and has access to plenty of food. and medicine. and clean water. he is free from spiritual oppression and has a loving mama and daddy who pray for him every day. 

and that is the reason i wept when i saw that little baby girl. lying there. staring with empty eyes and a scarred body. 

i've been thinking and praying {a lot} about what God has for me in uganda. 

{thinking and not sleeping}

why now? how do my passions and burdens and desires play into our journey to this beautiful and hurting country? 

how can i best be used? 

{please use me...}

there is more to come in this story. i just don't know it yet.

Please check out Sixty Feet, read their story, watch the videos, pray, give, go

will you do something {anything} with me?