I can't stop thinking about this baby and how I'm afraid I've had a missed miscarriage (where the baby dies but you don't know it because you don't have any symptoms of a miscarriage). Everyone keeps telling me I'm fine and the baby is fine but no one KNOWS for certain. I feel relatively fine and I'm definitely not "showing" like I thought I'd be at 12 weeks. I know I don't HAVE to be showing by now, but I just thought I would be. I haven't felt too much pain or cramping or anything really. Last week I think I felt mildly crampy but not the usual "period" cramps. More like uterus-growing cramps. But still I can't stop worrying.
Being pregnant and having children and raising children is a non-stop lesson in trusting God and right now I'm finding it really hard to rest in Him and trust that He is in control of me and this little baby growing inside me.
On Thursday I go for my second midwife appt and I will hopefully be able to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler device. That is my hope, anyway. We'll see.